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Self sighting - I go bump in the night!

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  • Self sighting - I go bump in the night!

    So, I deliver newspapers. It's 3am, it's dark, there's a few weirdos and drunks out, and I'm chucking papers at houses/apartments. Sometimes, I hit windows. Sometimes, the paper lands on something that goes crash. Sometimes, it's noisier than I intend. Now, I don't intend to spook people, but it happens.

    Most recent one

    This customer lives on a second-floor apartment. There's a good-sized landing in front, so I just toss it on there from the sidewalk. I try not to hit the windows but...

    On this particular morning, the customer was actually awake and doing something in her kitchen. I toss the paper, it hits the window, and the customer whips around. It's dark out, so she can't really see anything. She ducked behind her kitchen island, and then slowly started to creep towards the door. She was meekly poking her head out the door as I drove off. Oops.

    Oldie but goodie

    Another customer, another second-floor apartment. I frequently noticed him studying late at night. His desk with his computer was right up against the window.

    One morning, I accidentally hit the window, and with pretty good force, too. He [I]jumped/I]!!! I swear, he had at least a good three feet of air!

    I did hit his window a few more times while he was at his computer, but only received a mildly startled reaction henceforth.

    Ready to take me on

    This customer has a house a good 40 feet down from the road....I mean down. As in, I stand up by the road, and toss it down in front of their garage. If I'm running a bit late, I sometimes catch them leaving for work.

    They had their garage open, and were getting ready, and I tossed the paper down. It landed with a nice thud, and the guy comes running out of his garage with his arms up like he's looking for a fight, and he starts looking around for what made the noise! Then he saw the paper, picked it up, looked up, saw me, waved, and I waved back. I'd hate to think what would've happened if I'd been less lazy and had actually gone down there to deliver that paper...

    Trevor Bruttenholm: "There are things that go bump in the night... make no mistake." Yeah, ME!!!!!!!!!
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • #2
    eheehee that's amazing!
    .
    .
    . this also means you have an "in" with the local monsters' union, you know that right?
    Also, that's totally just like the AOL "you've got mail!" thingie!
    EDIT: Yay Broomie! +3 internet points for HellBoy reference.
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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    • #3
      Maybe they thought you were one of these guys.




      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1p4gfBHEUE
      Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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      • #4
        Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
        Trevor Bruttenholm: "There are things that go bump in the night... make no mistake." Yeah, ME!!!!!!!!!
        "And we, are the ones who 'bump' back."
        "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
        Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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        • #5
          Please tell me that it's only a video game where you have crazy neighbors run after you when you deliver papers. It is, isn't it?
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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          • #6
            Quoth Mr Hero View Post
            Please tell me that it's only a video game where you have crazy neighbors run after you when you deliver papers. It is, isn't it?
            I did have some dbag tailgate me for a couple blocks. I was about to get out of the car and ask if I could help him when he sped off. I'm thinking maybe he didn't notice I was delivering papers and thought I was drunk and was calling me in? Of course, all the regular police at that hour know me, so I wasn't worried.
            Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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            • #7
              I had someone tail me while delivering papers once. Not in a car--the dipshit was on a bike. Keep in mind that I'd ride the wagon down hills, and he'd usually get too close. It took awhile to remind him that unlike his bike, my '88 Radio-Flyer could stop on a dime if I chose to be a bastard and pull the handbrake (If anyone is wondering, I'd rigged up some wooden blocks that would rub against the solid rubber tires. Crude, but effective enough to stop the thing from rolling on hills!)

              He wasn't the only idiot I had to deal with. I'd be minding my own business, when I'd see the same car go around the block about a dozen times. There's no way they were looking for an address--my neighborhood's not that big! No, methinks they were casing the neighborhood, looking for a house to rob. Pointless, since wouldn't a bright red Camaro with a loud exhaust, draw some attention to itself?
              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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