Abusive Ex Husband

[MoscowMinion]

*snorts* Well now, it's certainly not my fault that mind-games are something of a forte for me. Besides, I'm sure if you actually -tried- you'd be able to 'trick' me. Or not. Still, you should've fed him his balls by way of shoe....off-camera, of course.

[Mytical]

My dad was abusive. Not PHYSICALLY Abusive, but mentally. Which is as bad. So I've learned mind games to defend myself and those I care for. I Can trick damn near anyone. (Minus Minion, asshole..LOL)

And as for physical abuse, I had an ex who took a swing at me becuase I said no to sex. He swung and missed, and I'm proud to say, I didn't.

Mental abuse can sometimes be worse . As for the bold part that is full of WIN. I won't say I hope it was south of the border, that is a given

[superhotelworker]

Actually, it wasn't south of the border. I jacked him in the jaw.

[lobo94]

Scumbags like this are cruising for a bruising.

[superhotelworker]

Muahaha. We have a marine stationed in the rooms next to her and the one across from her. Come pick a fight now dude! You know you wanna come try! Make our day. They want to play, and they call me Little sister. Muahahah.

J just told me they checked in. I's excited! They'll be there Til Sunday. My boys are home! <3

[Mytical]

Actually, it wasn't south of the border. I jacked him in the jaw.

Ok, still awesome, but hey what can I say..south of the border would have been more epic. Keep that in mind for next time somebody is crazy enough to mess with you

[emax4]

I understand that the manager wants the guy out, but obviously if he's still stalking her, why let the guy off again since he obviously hasn't learned his lesson?

Instead of just saying "get out of here or we'll call the cops", I'd have an associate already on the phone while I stall the guy. Chances are the guy is gonna get provoked more and more while I purposely stall him. At this point, if he's loud enough, other patrons might witness this, and prove of his bad behavior when the cops do show up.

[Whiskey]

Instead of just saying "get out of here or we'll call the cops",

Most professional abusers know when they're being stalled. Sometimes they mess up, but its hard to get one to stick around long enough for cops to drive over. Hopefully they do get him next time he shows up.

He was so engrossed he never saw my ex come up behind him, whereupon my ex picked him up and threw him through the air, to land against a skip that was standing in a corner.

Oh god that reminds me of a guy who beat up my best friend. Or tried to. he got a little too loud and a little too close (dude already had a history of pushing her around, not outright hitting her, but threatening). I got directly in the middle and said if he felt like socking someone he better sock me with all his might because its the last thing he'd ever do. Turns out he's not as brave when he's got five foot three inches worth of rage standing in front of him.

Also guys who actively defend women from abuse are the best guys and deserve kisses and hugs and loves and brownies and stuff.

[Sapphire Silk]

My dad was abusive. Not PHYSICALLY Abusive, but mentally. Which is as bad. So I've learned mind games to defend myself and those I care for. I Can trick damn near anyone. (Minus Minion, asshole..LOL)

And as for physical abuse, I had an ex who took a swing at me becuase I said no to sex. He swung and missed, and I'm proud to say, I didn't.

You go, girl! If more women would just set limits, creeps like this would become extinct.

[Whiskey]

You go, girl! If more women would just set limits, creeps like this would become extinct.

The sad thing is, they wouldn't. Physically fighting an abuser doesn't stop the abuse, it escalates it. The only thing you can do is leave, educate and protect the ones who fall into the cycle.

[Magpie]

I'm just glad that this guy is one of the stupid abusers (threatening everyone, so everyone knows he's bad news) and not one of the scary ones. You know, the kind who convinces the desk clerk that he's her brother and needs to talk to her so he can get her out of town. Or that his wife is suffering from severe mental illness, and he's taking her to the doctor. The kind that says "she tried to run me down" after throwing himself in front of her car (and gets away with a lot of it in front of the judge). I am so glad that you and your mom are taking care of this woman! No one can get away without support, no matter how tough they are.

[Whiskey]

Fortunately, the OP and her coworkers know "NO calls, NO visitors" means as such no matter what. Its scary how easy it is to get access to someone through some simple lie like "i'm her brother"

Oi.

And it doesnt matter where the support comes from! Support from strangers can be more empowering than you think (see: everyone on this board and the Life Advice forums)

[Eisa]

^Exactly. Support from anyone when you're in an abusive relationship is gold. I could have used more when I was in mine...instead of my so-called friends telling me it was just 'bad communication.' Ya know, y'all were right--it was bad that I said "no" and he completely ignored it. Eeesh.

And yeah, 'tis hard to stall an abuser enough to get the cops there, but if it worked...

[Whiskey]

^^
and sometimes its the OUTSIDE support that is the final trigger.

"This person, who doesnt know me and isnt invested in my life, is concerned for my wellbeing......"

Its easy to justify a lot of stuff as "Oh, jessica is such a drama queen!' and so on and so forth.

If anyone who had heard what was going on had said something to me, when I was in my.. relationship, it might have hit home faster that I needed to get out. It took longer, and I was fortunate to get out fairly unscathed, but some arent as fortunate.

[Gravekeeper]

Fortunately, the OP and her coworkers know "NO calls, NO visitors" means as such no matter what. Its scary how easy it is to get access to someone through some simple lie like "i'm her brother"

I solve this particular dilemma by simply never believing a word any of my callers say. It has worked thus far. I don't care who you say you are, unless you're a police officer with a badge number I'm not getting a hold of person x for you. You can leave a message and be damn well happy about it. >.>

And we have had stalkers, ex's and other oddities after our clients on occasion. Hell, we had one after a coworker for a while. Real lunatic that one. Would call on graveyard shift with crazed "emergencies" that required us to immediately get a hold of said coworker. Then when that failed they would call back later with the Drama(tm) about all the horrible things that happened because coworker wouldn't talk to them.

Never really thought his stories through though. Coworkers cats must have supposedly lived and died about 40 times over according to him. Every other night one of them was on the verge of death and required her immediate assistance. Only to allegedly perish an hour later when he received no return call.

But they would all be magically revived 48 hours later. Only to supposedly suffer yet another calamity.

Then of course there was my stalker through work. Though they were not on the level of an abuser. Just a lunatic. But it is definitely a stressful position to be in. I was lucky in that they were not lucid enough to determine our location. -.-