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If I'm not talking TO him, he can't hear me!

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  • If I'm not talking TO him, he can't hear me!

    My brother works at the same crappy restaurant I do. He was at the counter one day when I wasn't there and related this "psychologically draining" account to me.

    PJ: Who learned everything he knows from me.
    J: Manager
    M: Muffy, our name for any woman with a stick up her ass

    M: Can I have 3 extra sides of sauce?

    PJ: OK; but just to let you know, the first extra side is free, but I'll have to charge you .50 each for the other two.

    M: I have NEVER had this happen here! [It's actually our policy]

    PJ [ever the smartass]: Well, 4 sides of sauce is actually enough to make one medium pizza and it's our policy to charge for extra because...[he apparently went into some economic stuff; he's good at that]

    M: Well, let me give YOU an econ lesson, Mister! You giving me stuff for free keeps me a customer and keeps YOU in business!!!! [] Get me your manager!

    *J comes out*

    M: Is this a joke or something? You're not old enough to be a manager! Get me the real one!

    J: Actually, I am; and PJ is right, it's our policy.

    *Husband, who doesn't seem to mind and has a look on his face like he goes through this stuff all the time, pulls out his credit card*.

    M [to husband]: I have half a mind to tell him to stick it up his ass!

    J: Actually, ma'am, you just did.

    M: We're never coming here again!

    J: Good.

    Classy, no? PJ said it made dealing with the angry homeless guy look like a piece of cake.
    "If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago

  • #2
    One less bitch to worry about.

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    • #3
      Can we clone your no-bullshit, non ass-kissing manager and clone him about 2 million times? Then we could replace all the ass-kissing managers in the world.

      But then there wouldn't be any more need for customerssuck and I'd be sad.
      "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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      • #4
        Quoth Peppergirl View Post
        But then there wouldn't be any more need for customerssuck and I'd be sad.
        Actully, there would be a need. We'd still have customers that suck...and where else would we rant about them?
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          Yeah; J's pretty cool. I forgot that the "lady" said she was going to call our owner, who is so stingy that he's reluctant to even give ONE side free.
          "If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago

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          • #6
            Quoth protege View Post
            Actully, there would be a need. We'd still have customers that suck...and where else would we rant about them?
            And let's not forget the multiple stories of pwnage handed to said sucky customers by those clones.

            Yes! clone the manager!
            Fixing problems... one broken customer at a time.

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            • #7
              Quoth Giggle Goose View Post

              M: Well, let me give YOU an econ lesson, Mister! You giving me stuff for free keeps me a customer and keeps YOU in business!!!! []
              Sounds more like a lesson in economic recession
              Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

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              • #8
                Customers

                Quoth Giggle Goose View Post
                PJ [ever the smartass]: Well, 4 sides of sauce is actually enough to make one medium pizza and it's our policy to charge for extra because...[he apparently went into some economic stuff; he's good at that]

                M: Well, let me give YOU an econ lesson, Mister! You giving me stuff for free keeps me a customer and keeps YOU in business!!!! [] Get me your manager!
                Basic Economics 101: If you are selling to a customer at a loss because of all the extra free stuff, that customer is *NOT* keeping you in business, they are trying to drive you out of business.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Peppergirl View Post
                  But then there wouldn't be any more need for customerssuck and I'd be sad.
                  Nah, there'd still be Cursing out Coworkers, GWC and Off Topic.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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