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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • One today a la my partner:

    We are not allowed to email memes back and forth for a whole day. (His boss did give him the OK to email me regularly just to check up on me)
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

    Comment


    • I am not allowed to make fun of my teammate because he's being sent to Cumming. However, I am allowed to tell him I have been to Cumming, myself.
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

      Comment


      • Can you arrange fake orders ostensibly sending him to Intercourse Pennsylvania and Dildo Newfoundland?
        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

        Comment


        • I am not allowed to comment that my supervisor sounds like fran Drescher.
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

          Comment


          • Quoth wolfie View Post
            Can you arrange fake orders ostensibly sending him to Intercourse Pennsylvania and Dildo Newfoundland?
            I am near Climax.
            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

            Comment


            • I am not allowed to make fun of my teammate because he's being sent to Belcher.

              At least it's not Crapo.
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

              Comment


              • The binder clips on my desk are not to be used to make a binder clip family.
                I am not allowed to attach googly eyes to a paperclip and call it Clippy.
                The staple remover is not a crocodile.
                I am not allowed to comment that the punching bag my manager bought looks somewhat like a penis. (it's a blow-up one too...many jokes ensued about it because my manager started blowing it up right in front of us! >.<)
                I am not Super Filing woman and I am not allowed to make a cape depicting this.
                If I am in the lab and not on the main floor, I am not allowed to hijack the monitors so I can work from 2 screens.

                Weirdly enough if we are in the computer lab and not on the main floor, we are allowed to play music just as long as it's not too loud and the work gets done.
                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                Now queen of USSR-Land...

                Comment


                • I'm not allowed to yell profanity if I whack my balls again.
                  I'm not allowed to whack my balls again.
                  I'm not allowed to ask my coworkers to kiss them and make them better.
                  This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                  I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                  Comment


                  • Quoth catcul View Post
                    I'm not allowed to yell profanity if I whack my balls again.
                    I'm not allowed to whack my balls again.
                    I'm not allowed to ask my coworkers to kiss them and make them better.
                    Just remember...

                    Comment


                    • I am no longer allowed to have my coworker's caramel latte sachets (I had 2 of them and wound up a little high from it...)
                      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                      Now queen of USSR-Land...

                      Comment


                      • Not allowed to build a fortress out of the plastic beer pallets and hide in them from the Inventory crew that's due in Thursday morning.

                        And I guess duct-taping the AM's mouth, knocking him out cold and and stashing his body in the dumpster right outside my door wouldn't work either - especially since the store manager comes out there to smoke.
                        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                        Comment


                        • I'm not allowed to say that today is March 32.

                          Happy April Fools Day.
                          This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                          I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                          Comment


                          • Quoth catcul View Post
                            I'm not allowed to say that today is March 32.

                            Happy April Fools Day.
                            Then tell people it's March 20 (hexadecimal).
                            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                            Comment


                            • I am not allowed to lip synch songs like Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

                              It would be very awkward to mouth to a stranger, "I want to fk you like an animal."
                              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                              Comment


                              • Quoth catcul View Post
                                I am not allowed to lip synch songs like Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

                                It would be very awkward to mouth to a stranger, "I want to fk you like an animal."
                                There's a clip of santino rice (from project runway and drag race) reciting lines from that song in an almost perfect impression of tim gunn. (very "posh" voice)
                                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                                Now queen of USSR-Land...

                                Comment

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