Bra shopping question (Maybe NSFW)

[Blue Ginger]

My housemate keeps getting upset because she thinks she should be able to walk into a store and grab any bra and have it fit perfectly. I keep telling her it doesn't work that way and you will have to try on a million until you have that EUREKA moment and get the right one.

I'm getting really sick of the tears. Really sick of it. As in I want to bang my head against the fitting room walls.

A month or so ago, I took her to get fitted. Unfortunately, the smallest size that Bras'n'Things stock is bigger than she wears in a t-shirt. (She wears a Oz 6-8 in tops and the smallest bra they stock is a 10.) So she was fitted as a 10, but the lovely lady doing the fitting suggested that she try to find size 8's.

The old lady style bras she was wearing were a Oz 14. A fucking 14 that are so stretched that they would fit a person that wears a 16. She is a Magrat (ironing board with 2 peas for those that haven't read Terry Pratchett's Discworld) and is petite enough that she can pass as a 10-12 year old.

DEEP BREATH!

Her mum never took her when she hit puberty. Never took her during puberty and she never had friends that could/would taking her for these kinds of things.

She is 2-fucking-8 and has never had a properly fitting bra. (Doesn't help that she insists on wire free, but won't even look at the cute 'first bras' that you wouldn't know are 'first' bras unless you tell people. That would probably fit her perfectly. )

Double deep breath!

So ladies, how many different styles did you try before you found your Eureka Bra?

I went through maybe 40-50 at the trying on stage, then maybe 10-20 (since I was 13) purchased until I found the t-shirt style that I wear now. (I'm a 12A, so I don't have to worry about digging in straps or back pain that some ladies struggle with.)

[AnaKhouri]

I didn't find bras that fit well until I was 38. I've nursed two babies and thus I am...lopsided. Finally my husband convinced me to go into Victoria's Secret to be measured and I am a size I never would have guessed 32DDD...which sounds like I'm thin and stacked, but I am neither. I almost cried, I was so grateful to have a bra that both felt and looked good.

Like your friend, this size is not easy to find. I often have to order online. Luckily VS tends to be true to size so I am pretty much stuck buying there but they tend to be good quality.

I do plan to be remeasured when I hit 40 as I'm well aware now these things can change!

[notalwaysright]

One time I went to be fitted and they said I was a 32A (or B can't remember) WRONG. Too small! Sometimes the measurements just do not work. So I found some online guide that showed very clearly how a bra should fit around each part of you, and what it looks like when it fits wrong.

Guess what, I finally went out on a limb and ordered a 32C online, since I couldn't find this size in store, and it fit! And I felt just like AnaKhouri, like "I can't be a C cup, that's too big" but cup size is proportional to band size. I had been buying 34B bras up until my mid 20s, but they just weren't right. "Sister sizes" my ass. Anyway, yes it took a while, and I think the best thing I did was to start from scratch and ignore what I was told was the right size, or even what size I thought was right. The visual guide was the best for me... I just looked at the picture and it said "if your bra is doing this, then do this" for example go up or down a band size. I followed along and eureka!

[Food Lady]

I'm 44 and still looking....

[greek_jester]

It took me until my mid-twenties, and when I did, it was suddenly, "woah, I have a waist and my back isn't hurting!" Being a British G cup didn't help; I have to go to specialist shops, and since I'm very broad in the back (bone structure) and unusually short in comparison between my shoulders and hips I have to try the bra on first to be sure the straps will adjust far enough down.

I also can't wear underwires that come up high under the arms; because of my aforementioned short shoulder-to-hip measurements I end up getting dug under the armpits. Which is a pity as an otherwise perfectly fitting style that is very popular and has been going for a good decade won't fit me.

If you're in the UK and an above-average cup size I highly recommend Bravissimo. They can give you excellent advice regarding what styles will work with your body shape, and while they do measure they use that as a starting point and do as notalwaysright said and look at how things look.

If you're bulging out under the arms or over the edge of the cup then the cup size is too small, regardless of what the label says. If you have wrinkles and empty space in the cups then the cup size is too large.

Also, never ever go up a band size and down a cup size if they don't have your size in stock. The band does the majority of the work in bearing the weight of your bust, so if it's too big then it all falls on the shoulder straps which don't hold you in place enough to prevent excess movement.

[Blue Ginger]

Bravissimo is the bees knees for the more busty ladies in the UK. I used to go there with my London housemate every 3 months or so. They have really nice clothes for those with actual boobs. Their dresses were so pretty, but I'm a sad A-cup so there was nothing for me. My housemate was a G or F (was trying to loose weight and boob size kept changing) and it was so good seeing her being able to have lovely clothes that fitted and weren't sacks or old lady frumpy.

Current housemate in Melbourne has the opposite problem to London housemate. Everything has to be taken in or darts need to be added.

I never thought about the shoulder to hip measurement. Shit. That's possibly why all the bras tried so far are sitting too high under her arm. And a lot of the wire-free bras are higher there to compensate for not having the wire support. Thanks for pointing that out greek_jester. Face meet palm.

Sister sizes are a crock of shit. I'm a 10-12A (depends on cut). I've had bra fitters tell me that if I'm usually a 12A, then I should be a 10B if I need to go down a band size. Nope. I don't fill an A cup no matter which band size I go for. A B-cup would be ridiculous. I'd need about 3 chicken fillets per boob. I have one corset that I got for a costume from Bra'n'Things. The smallest they stock is a B-cup. I have to wear a chicken fillet bra, a top and then use the extra fillets that came with the corset and the cups are still too big. But everyone thought I looked fantastic in the costume.

[LadyofArc]

My housemate keeps getting upset because she thinks she should be able to walk into a store and grab any bra and have it fit perfectly. I keep telling her it doesn't work that way and you will have to try on a million until you have that EUREKA moment and get the right one.

I'm getting really sick of the tears. Really sick of it. As in I want to bang my head against the fitting room walls.

A month or so ago, I took her to get fitted. Unfortunately, the smallest size that Bras'n'Things stock is bigger than she wears in a t-shirt. (She wears a Oz 6-8 in tops and the smallest bra they stock is a 10.) So she was fitted as a 10, but the lovely lady doing the fitting suggested that she try to find size 8's.

Bras n Things do stock Size 8's, but you may need to find them online. Here's a quick search: http://www.brasnthings.com/bras/size/8a/1

As for me, I've always gotten properly fitted whenever I need to buy a new bra and then gone from there on occasion - generally if I find one brand that fits well, I'll stick with it.

[notalwaysright]

The problem I had with 34B was that the wire dug in on the sides. Yet I still had small gaps in the top of the cups. When I moved to a 32C, the wire was angled better, it goes out rather than curving up at that uncomfortable spot. And since the cup size is proportional to the band size, I don't have gaps. (Well, a little on one side, but I'm not perfectly symmetrical so it is was it is)

You know what's funny? I had previously gotten fitted and told that I should wear some ridiculously small size, and had used a couple online calculators which gave nonsense. Just now I tried again on a different site and it spat out 32C. Well done! Then I tried two different sites using the same measurements and got 34B and 36C. Anyway, I'm happy I figured it out.

[Iolanthe]

I was probably around 30ish when I found the balconettes at Lane Bryant. They have a little wider set to the cups which really helps and are lined, I never get the cold issues with them and they are comfy to wear. I got a couple of my thinner friends to try them and they love them too.

[Blue Ginger]

I have one balconette bra because it was just too pretty to not buy. But it is not the most comfy because I don't fill the cup enough. I have nothing for gravity to grab, so I have to add extra chicken fillets to it.

The t-shirt style that I wear is lightly padded all over, so no cold issues for me. And with them I actually have some shape.

Has anyone tried the extra push up bras? The one's that make you go up 3-4 cup sizes? I tried one on for shits and giggles once. My London friend couldn't stop laughing at me. It felt so weird to have all that extra just there when there isn't normally anything.

[Valentinian]

Blue Ginger, can you get to a Lin and Barrett store? Because they are da bomb. I took my niece there to get a good bra - she's the only one in the family built like me (stacked) but thinner - and it turns out the place that sold her her old bra had pushed her into a 'second cousins twice removed' size (like a sister size, but even further away from what you actually need to wear). They have a good range, are good at identifying what you need, and won't sell you sister sizes if they don't have the right stuff. (They probably will have the right stuff, or at least be able to source it quickly.)

Failing that, Best & Less have surprisingly comfortable stretchy 'sports' bras with removable fillets that I am now wearing most of the time because arthritis sucks and having a bra that doesn't need to be done up is awesome.

[Johnny]

It was also hard for me to find the right size until I've googled and found some measurement advice. I always bought 12B, but as it turned out, I have 16C. Also, when buying bras, you'll better check and fit different sizes in the shop and try to choose the most comfortable option. The sizes and materials (stretching) from one brand to another could differ.

[Kit-Ginevra]

Go to the nearest fruit market and find the appropriate size...grape peach apple orange grapefruit or watermelon ��

[LadyofArc]

Has anyone tried the extra push up bras? The one's that make you go up 3-4 cup sizes? I tried one on for shits and giggles once. My London friend couldn't stop laughing at me. It felt so weird to have all that extra just there when there isn't normally anything.

Are they the ones where you can pump it up or add water to them to "fill" them up? (Yes, I watched Bend it like Beckham where they had exactly that)

Only other thing I can suggest is to take your friend to David Jones or Myer and get the fitting done there. While their range might be slightly less than what Bras n Things have, they might have some stuff there that's less "first bra" and more "mature" for her.

If she finds a good brand that works for her, she could also order directly from the manufacturer.

ETA: Get her to try Bonds brand stuff - they have stuff that should fit her (as shown by my search here)

[greek_jester]

Has anyone tried the extra push up bras? The one's that make you go up 3-4 cup sizes? I tried one on for shits and giggles once. My London friend couldn't stop laughing at me. It felt so weird to have all that extra just there when there isn't normally anything.

Once. The straps made rather alarming creaking noises, and forget seeing my feet, I couldn't see anything about 3 feet in front of me!