Ultimate Etiquette Fail

[customersruinmylife]

I feel that I need to share this with someone as I actually find it quite hilarious and utterly stupid.

My sister and her “best friend” haven’t spoken for six months. Her BF started dating a guy that no one liked. I myself have known BF for years. She was a kind, quiet and very intelligent girl. Her boyfriend was the exact opposite of her in every way, and he turned BF into a foul mouthed dropout. She became a social outcast because her group of friends would flat refuse to invite her anywhere because they didn’t want to risk him showing up with her.

My sister stuck by BF, as they had known each other too long to let a boy come between them, but for months on end, she was plagued with endless tearful phonecalls from BF, saying that she had just been in a fight with her boyfriend and needed company. My sister always went. That came to a stop one night when she called my parents house at midnight, crying and saying that they had broken up and she was going to kill herself. My dad and my sister frantically searched the town looking for her in the middle of the night and eventually found her...at her boyfriends house. She laughed in my sisters face and said “Oh, we’re OK now, how silly of you to be wandering around like that!” and closed the door.

My sister ended the friendship at that point and even went as far as getting a new phone number just so she couldn’t contact her again.

Six months later and they still haven’t spoken. She’s had a few updates from mutual friends who informed her that BF has dropped out of college as she “can’t commit to studies and a relationship at the same time”. Why her parents haven’t stepped in I have no idea. My sister is having a great time and recently attended a concert with a group of friends.

Our house phone rings. It’s BF.

BF: I was just wondering how you were doing. We haven’t spoken in a while.
S: *bemused* I’m fine thanks. How are you?
BF: Great. Me and my boyfriend are going on holiday in a few weeks. Our first time away together. I can’t wait.
S: That’s great.
BF: Yeah, but listen. We kind of blew our budget on the flights and hotel and we have no spending money. I was wondering, would you be able to donate some spending money to us?
S: WHAT?!?
BF: I know you can afford it. I saw the photographs of you at that concert.
S: *stuttering* Oh my God.
BF: So can you?

My sister hung up. After telling myself and my parents what she said, my mother tried calling her back to give her a piece of her mind. She never answered.

[fireheart]

is that girl smoking?

[crazylegs]

is that girl smoking?

More than one thing at a time I think...

[Slayer]

Good grief, how do people get so stupid.

I feel bad for your sister. I've gone out and beyond my way for two former friends before and each ended with me feeling disheartened (one after grade 6, lol, and the other in cegep). Luckily neither of them asked me for money!!! Geez. Your sister did better than I would have done, haha.

[firecat88]

Gotta love fair-weather friends. I don't blame your sister for just hanging up. I probably would've done the same if any of my friends did that to me. Well, after telling them to go to Hell anyway.

[Jester]

She was a kind, quiet and very intelligent girl. Her boyfriend was the exact opposite of her in every way, and he turned BF into a foul mouthed dropout.

I'm sorry, but her boyfriend didn't "turn" her into what she became. She made her own choices, from dating him to dropping out to losing her friends. While the boyfriend almost certainly had some influence over the change in her, she made her own decisions as to the way her life would go. The only person that turned BF into what she is was BF. Period.

The boyfriend may be abusive. He may not. From the sound of it, he is almost certainly an idiot loser shithead. But she has chosen to be with said idiot loser shithead, and if she is losing her friends and her collegiate career because of it, she has no one to blame but herself.

BF: Yeah, but listen. We kind of blew our budget on the flights and hotel and we have no spending money. I was wondering, would you be able to donate some spending money to us?
S: WHAT?!?
BF: I know you can afford it. I saw the photographs of you at that concert.
S: *stuttering* Oh my God.
BF: So can you?

My sister hung up.

Your sister is far more polite than I would have been. I have loaned my friends money from time to time, but I would have laughed in the face of any of them that told me they blew all their budget on their vacation before they even got to the vacation, and asked me for spending money. And that is what I would do to a FRIEND. Clearly this woman is no longer in any way your sister's friend, nor is your sister under that illusion. To someone like that, I would have probably done more than laugh in their face. I may very well have diagrammed the stupidity of their request for them, and then explicitly instructed them on what they could do with it. Lube would have been optional.

[Seraph]

Tchaaaaaah, the nerve of her! I would've started laughing at first, and then promptly switched into the cheeriest scorching I have in my repertoire.

[MoonCat]

Holy sh*t. What a twat.

Hanging up on her was probably the best thing to do. Unbelievable.

[lachesis]

Wow... that's some elephantitis of the cajones. Your sister dropping her when she did was probably for the best.

[Kiwi]

brass balls that one!

[Victory Sabre]

I'd say your sister made the right choice after reading that. BF is a total idiot.

[Pharm Girl]

Sis was probably best off just to hang up. They sound like a pair of real idiots, who knows if they might be inclined to do something vengeful if they were told off.

[Merriweather]

Wow. Just Wow.

Well, that phone call at least had one really good result - your sister no longer has to wonder if she did the right thing by dropping her BF out of her life. Geez. As someone else said, the BF has brass balls - no class whatsoever, but brass balls. And at least she's honest in her classlessness - she asked for a "donation", not a "loan", LOL.

Yep, your sister is definitely better off without this person in her life in any shape, form or fashion. While there maybe some pressure & influence from the boyfriend, at the end of the day, she chose to turn into what she did, for whatever reasons. Maybe if enough former friends cut her off she'll wake up some day, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

BTW, I once had a friend (well, more acquantance, and didn't stay even that for too long) who had that entitlement attitude about money - "but so & so has money, I don't, so why shouldn't they give it to me?" She spent every penny she got, as soon as she got it, and if someone else managed to do without things to save up a bit, she saw that as them not "needing" that money, so they should be perfectly willing to give it to her.

[Barracuda]

It sounds like her "friend" may be narcissistic. I'll admit, I have considered asking friends for money lately, take up a collection, but it's for RENT. You know, so I don't end up HOMELESS. I would NEVER ask for spending money for a vacation, especially from someone I haven't talked to in six months. What a self-absorbed FRUITCAKE.

[Jester]

I actually HAVE asked people to give me money so I would have spending money on a vacation. Of course, the difference here is that the people I asked (1) were actual friends of mine, and (2) owed me money I had previously loaned them.

Other than that, I can't think of anyone I've ever asked for money for such a selfish reason. Loan, perhaps. And even that I can't think of off the top of my head. But donation? So I could go out and have a fun time that I had not adequately planned or budgeted for myself?

Um....no.