Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

RESTROOM TRIP POLICY

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • RESTROOM TRIP POLICY

    Effective Monday, August 27, 2007, a new restroom trip policy will go into effect. By Friday, August 24, 2007, all employees will be required to visit the Human Resources office to provide two (2) voice prints, one normal, and one under stress. These voice prints will then be incorporated into the restroom voice system so that you may enter.

    When an employee wishes to visit the restroom, whether it is on a break, on lunch, paid time off or just on their own personal time, he/she will be required to provide their voice to the voice print identifier located just outside the restroom doors. After the employee has provided their voice, the restroom doors will unlock so that you may enter.

    In addition, each employee will begin the calendar month with twenty (20) restroom trip credits. These credits can then be accumulated into the next month. For example, if you have used fifteen (15) credits for the month and have five (5) left over, you will begin the next month with a total of twenty-five (25). When an employee's credits reach zero (0), the restroom doors will remain locked until the beginning of the next month.

    As an extra feature, all restroom stalls will be equipped with automatic paper roll retractors. When an employee's time in the stall exceeds three (3) minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty (30) seconds after the alarm sounding, a red light will begin flashing over your head, the roll of toilet paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall is still occupied thirty (30) seconds after all of those things happen, your picture will be taken.

    The picture will then be posted on the company bulletin boards as well as the company intranet site. In addition, it will be posted on the customer websites. In other words, each employee and every customer will be able to see and view this information. Any employee that has their picture posted three (3) times will be terminated immediately without going through the disciplinary action steps, and with no questions asked.

    Thank you for your attention in this matter. Any questions or disputes you may have regarding this policy can be directed toward your supervisor, or Human Resources. Please be further advised that this is an amendment to your current company contract, which means Union representation is out of the question.
    Last edited by greensinestro; 08-22-2007, 12:27 PM.

  • #2
    good thing this is just a joke... it would br frighteningly unfair to pregnant employees.
    "We go through our careers and things happen to us. Those experiences made me what I am."-Thomas Keller

    Comment


    • #3
      If the stall is still occupied thirty (30) seconds after all of those things happen, your picture will be taken.

      The picture will then be posted on the company bulletin boards as well as the company intranet site. In addition, it will be posted on the customer websites. In other words, each employee and every customer will be able to see and view this information. Any employee that has their picture posted three (3) times will be terminated immediately without going through the disciplinary action steps, and with no questions asked.
      You forgot "Anybody smiling in their picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy."
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

      Comment

      Working...
      X