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  • 2010 Winter Olympics

    Thought You Would Like This

    2010 Winter Olympics

    As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics.

    Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

    Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an
    International Tourism Website.
    Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
    (England)

    A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them
    die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
    tracks? (Sweden)

    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: It is imperative that I find th e names and addresses of places to
    contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

    A: Let's not touch this one.


    REMEMBER THE QUESTIONS ARE REAL

    Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me alist of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

    A: What, did your last slave die?


    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)

    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
    Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
    racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)

    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

    A : Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
    is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna
    Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right
    after the hippo races. Come naked.


    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
    sell it in Canada? (USA)

    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
    population is smaller than the
    male population? (Italy)

    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?

    (Germany)

    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.
    It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )

    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close tothem. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



    Please send this on to any Canadian (or other) who you think will

    enjoy it as much as I did.

  • #2
    BWAHAHAHA! I venture to Canada frequently and I am imagining stupid tourists asking those things in the middle of Toronto or Montreal.
    The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth ArenaBoy View Post
      BWAHAHAHA! I venture to Canada frequently and I am imagining stupid tourists asking those things in the middle of Toronto or Montreal.
      I know forst hand what you mean, My husband and I have gone to Toronto and have heard people ask if there are polar bears around! We just looked at each other and laughed.

      I mean really with the internet and all I would think that people could fine out about other countries if they wanted to, but guess not. pretty funny though.

      Comment


      • #4
        Every time I think I've hit the bottom of the stupidity well, someone throws me a shovel. I shudder to think how these people manage to not strangle themselves with their shoelaces in the morning.

        Okay, with cynisism out of the way, that was a pretty good list. Makes me want to go hunt down the list of "only in Canada" joke/observation thing I saw once.
        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

        Comment


        • #5
          Most of it is familiar from a similar list of questions about the Sydney Olympics down in Australialand a while back. Still pretty funny, though.

          Rapscallion

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Rapscallion View Post
            Most of it is familiar from a similar list of questions about the Sydney Olympics down in Australialand a while back. Still pretty funny, though.

            Rapscallion
            yup... http://www.snopes.com/travel/foreign/olympics.asp
            "We go through our careers and things happen to us. Those experiences made me what I am."-Thomas Keller

            Comment


            • #7
              Anyone who hasn't seen Rick Mercer's "Talking to Americans" needs to...unfortunately it proves that this sort of thing doesn't need to be embellished and sent around as an e-mail. (sigh)

              I'm going to be ready to roll for the hockey games, though - there are benefits to living 2 hours from Vancouver and speaking fluent Canadian, after all!
              Not all who wander are lost.

              Comment


              • #8
                My husband and I have gone to Toronto and have heard people ask if there are polar bears around
                OK, I was in Toronto in June when I was 12, and it was a little chilly (I wore long pants and t-shirts the whole week, and kept a jacket handy) but polar bears???
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                  OK, I was in Toronto in June when I was 12, and it was a little chilly (I wore long pants and t-shirts the whole week, and kept a jacket handy) but polar bears???
                  If it's polar bears they want, Churchill, Manitoba is the place to be. The bears come out when the pack ice melts and snoop round the town looking for food. While they offer tours, they've also set up a "bear jail" for the critters who get too aggressive or too adventurous - polar bears will attack people, and so wardens capture the bears and transport them out of harm's way.

                  The only polar bear I've ever seen in Toronto is the Leafs' mascot. And he's really not particularly scary.
                  Not all who wander are lost.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Darn, I can't find the thread where someone talked about people showing up in BC with Columbian money - that cracked me up.
                    For some reason the 2010 Olympics mean we get our street re-paved and we aren't even in Canada.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Next time I'm going out to Seattle is in 2010 and I suggested to my friend that we go up to Vancouver and watch the people freak out. Ter pointed out that I come out in August and the Olympics are in the winter. So I pointed back that they still have to get ready for the gazillions of people that are going to show up. This should be interesting.
                      Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

                      I'm a case study.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Illinois is freaking out over the 2016 Olympics. Chicago wants to host them. "They" are saying that even down here (about two hours away) is going to get affected by them. Oh, goody. Maybe a good time to tell dad he's going to have two guests at his house for a couple weeks. :-p (he lives in a small town away from everything).
                        Answers are easy...it is asking the right questions which is hard.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          On the American who asked if they speak English, i would have replied "No, we speak Canada-english"

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