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  • Rassle Mania Thirty

    Who's got two thumbs and a ticket to WrestleMania 30?

    THIS GUY!

    Come April 6, 2014, I'll be in N'Awlins to go to WrestleMania 30. Because this is, realistically, the last year I'll be able to afford it. By next year, I'll be looking at getting my own place to live, plus a new car.

    I'll be in town a few days before to partake of all the other wrestling-related shenanigans going on. Indie companies will be putting on shows to cash in on the wrestle-crazy atmosphere. WWE will have Fan Axxess events...

    I still need to see if I can get tickets to the post-Mania episode of Monday Night Raw, also in New Orleans, plus figure out airfare, rental car, etc. A friend of mine in Louisiana lives about 40 minutes north of the city and has offered to let me crash at his place with him, his wife, and kids.

    Laissez les bon temps rouler!
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

  • #2
    Lucky @$%*&#^! That and Botcon are my dream things to go to.

    Comment


    • #3
      Awesome stuff. You will have the best time!

      Comment


      • #4
        You need to make a sign that just says "GDYC". This can be explained, if needed.
        "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
        "What IS fun to fight through?"
        "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth KhirasHY View Post
          You need to make a sign that just says "GDYC". This can be explained, if needed.
          Yeah, I would like knowing what that means before I go making any signs...

          No guarantee of that, however. It'd be kinda hard to make sure pre-made signs survive plane travel, and I dunno how well my friend would tolerate the smell of permanent markers stinking up his place if I make them after I get there.
          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
            Yeah, I would like knowing what that means before I go making any signs...

            No guarantee of that, however. It'd be kinda hard to make sure pre-made signs survive plane travel, and I dunno how well my friend would tolerate the smell of permanent markers stinking up his place if I make them after I get there.
            It's a running joke GDYC means "God Damn You, Cole", it's been showing up at live events and PPVs for about 2-3 years now If you take a pic of yourself with the sign and let this guy know, he usually will do a shout-out in his weekly review thing on IGN https://twitter.com/TheMattFowler

            Doubly so if you manage to get it on TV, which happens every now and then.
            "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
            "What IS fun to fight through?"
            "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

            Comment


            • #7
              Annnd who's got two thumbs and a ticket to the post-Mania Raw in New Orleans?

              THIS GUY!

              I'm almost more excited for Raw than I am for Mania, because post-Mania Raws can feature debuts of new talent, plus you still have fans riding the Mania high and creating new chants.

              After WM28, the fans salvaged Daniel Bryan's Mania loss (in 18 seconds in the opening match) by chanting "Yes!" pretty much the whole night.

              After WM29, the fans revolted when WWE made some bone-headed decisions during the night. When they asked the fans who should get a chance at revenge on Big Show between Sheamus and Randy Orton by putting it to a fan vote, they then ignored the results and had Sheamus and Orton wrestle each other for the chance instead. The fans shat on it, chanting for the commentators, for Randy Savage, and then humming Fandango's entrance music.

              I can't wait to see what happens now.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

              Comment


              • #8
                Two GDYC signs then!

                I haven't actively watched wrestling for a while (I'm more fascinated with the behind-the-scenes stuff than the actual shows), but I did watch the youtube videos of all the fun things the crowd yelled during that Raw. I like how the commentary eventually just broke down as they tried to figure out what to say...
                "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                "What IS fun to fight through?"
                "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Alas, my Raw seats are up in the 300 section (nosebleeds, I believe), so any signs I would make would be extremely unlikely to make it on the air.

                  And again, part of it would come down to "do I make the signs at home and try to transport them on the plane somehow? Or do I wait till I get to Louisiana and stink up my friend's house with marker fumes? Or do I just say 'screw it' and not bother?"
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                    Who's got two thumbs and a ticket to WrestleMania 30?

                    THIS GUY!
                    You know, I have to wonder: If the von Erichs were in their "prime" today, what kind of WrestleMania draw they'd be.

                    And you could set up all kinds of Feuds there. Of course, the von Erichs would always have to be faces, but you could set up some pretty good singles and tag matches for WM, I'd imagine. Could you just imagine something like Kevin von Erich vs John Cena? Or maybe Kerry von Erich vs HHH?

                    Or maybe even Kevin von Erich vs Hulk Hogan? One of the von Erichs vs The Undertaker?
                    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      This is going to be an interesting trip, I can tell...

                      As noted, I have tickets to both WM30 and the episode of Raw the night after. Generally, the crowds at these events can be rowdy, especially on Raw. If they don't like something, they let the world know it.

                      Welp, those of you who don't follow WWE may not realize that things are a bit... up in the air right now.

                      Last Sunday was their Royal Rumble PPV, one of their biggest PPVs of the year, and one which starts "The Road to Wrestlemania," since the winner of the Rumble match gets a guaranteed title shot at Mania against the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

                      The show had only a handful of matches, but it became a little clear as the night wore on that the fans were getting restless.

                      First, they had to watch as the New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg & Billy Gunn), who returned to WWE after a multi-year absence, won the Tag Team Championship off the the Brothers Rhodes (Cody Rhodes & Goldust), who have been consistently putting on excellent matches.

                      Then, they saw an excellent match featuring crowd darling Daniel Bryan (whose "Yes!" chants have been getting so much steam that even mainstream sports crowds are starting to do it) taking on the swamp-dwelling cult leader Bray Wyatt. The match was the best match of the show, and Wyatt picked up the victory. Fans were disappointed, but were holding out hope that Bryan would be the Rumble itself, despite Bryan tweeting out that "the machine doesn't want me anywhere near the Rumble match."

                      Next, legitimate giant Big Show (7' tall, close to 500 pounds) faced Brock Lesnar (6'5", ~300 pounds of fury), but it couldn't really be called a match. The second Brock hit the ring, he took down Show and started wailing away on him with his fists, and then grabbed the first of many steel chairs and just went to town on Show. Show managed to land basically a single punch-- a knockout punch to the jaw-- that took Brock down for a moment or two, but Brock still managed to get Show up and hit him with an F-5 (his finisher) before beating him to shit with chairs again. Fans didn't know what to make about any of this, and there was confused murmuring for most of the segment.

                      Then we had the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, and this is where the fans revolted. The match was the champion, Randy Orton, defending against John Cena. This wasn't the first time these two have faced each other; far from it, they've had dozens of matches against one another by this point, in every kind of "gimmick" match you care to mention. This was an ordinary, one-fall-to-a-finish match, and the fans got bored. They started booing the match, they started chanting for the man they actually wanted to see vie for the title-- Daniel Bryan. They chanted many things-- "Randy Savage" (a random chant that has been known to pop up when the fans get bored) "Y2J" (who had teased being at the Rumble) "Boring" "You Both Suck" "This is Awful" "End This Match" and even "We Want Divas" (which is particularly damning, because most live crowds don't care about Divas matches and use them as bathroom breaks).

                      Cena reacted as he usually does when the fans start hating on his matches: he smirked and kept on going. Orton reacted as he usually does: by getting irritated with the fans. He tried to taunt them into getting back into the match, but this just backfired worse. At the end of the match, as Cena looked to have Orton on the verge of tapping out to his STF submission, the lights went out as the Wyatt Family's stinger played, and then played again as the lights came back up to reveal the Wyatt Family (Wyatt and his two followers, Luke Harper & Erick Rowan) surrounding the ring. This distracted Cena enough for Orton to hit his RKO finisher and score the victory, then slither off. The Wyatts hit the ring and beat Cena down. From the moment the Wyatt stinger played, the fans started cheering, and as they beat down Cena, the fans chanted, "Thank You, Wyatt," because they hated the match that much.

                      That wasn't the end of the fan revolt, however. The final match of the show was the Royal Rumble itself, 30 men entering at 90 second (or so) intervals, with wrestlers getting eliminated by being thrown over the top rope to the floor. CM Punk, another crowd darling, was the first one out, and he lasted for most of the match, although it is known that he's been wrestling injured for months and looked dead on his feet for most of the match. As the numbers creeped closer to 30, however, the fans were clearly hoping for Daniel Bryan to come out again.

                      Dave Batista, former WWE champion, returned to WWE for the first time in 4 years for the Rumble, and was positioned as one of the front-runners to win it. When he came out at #28, the fans started to see some of the writing on the wall, and he was getting booed. Worst of all, however, was when Rey Mysterio came out at #30. Rey-Rey has been a crowd favorite for years, but at the show, the fans hated him because he wasn't Daniel Bryan, and he got booed heavily. When CM Punk got eliminated via shenanigans, leaving just Batista, Irish warrior Sheamus, and Shield heavy Roman Reigns, the fans could see the finish coming and started booing again. When Sheamus was tossed out by Reigns, however, and given how much of a beast Reigns had been positioned as by that point-- having racked up the largest count of eliminations (12) in Rumble history-- the fans desperately threw their support behind him, as "Roman Reigns" chants broke out for the until-then heel.

                      When Batista threw him out at the end to win the match, the boos were so loud that WWE tried to mute the crowd mics, but you could still hear them over the announcers' headsets. Batista was supposed to be celebrating, pointing at the Wrestlemania sign, and looking confident and triumphant for all their promotional shots, but he was clearly frustrated with the crowd as well, and from live reports, flipped off the crowd after the cameras stopped rolling.

                      Now there's also reports that CM Punk has taken his ball and gone home, frustrated with creative direction in the company, and broken down physically with a number of nagging injuries. His contract is up in July, and there are doubts about whether he'll be back by then.

                      There's another PPV between now and Mania-- the Elimination Chamber-- but WWE has a lot of work ahead of them to try to salvage Mania, lest they have a rowdy and unhappy (and possibly riotous) crowd on their biggest event of the year.

                      Couple all that with their launching their WWE Network streaming service on February 24, they could be looking at some major problems.

                      It'll be interesting to see where things go from here.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Okay, Wrestlemania looks like it could be pretty awesome after all....

                        After the Elimination Chamber PPV following the Rumble, it appeared that the main event at Wrestlemania XXX would be Randy Orton defending the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Batista. Batista is now definitively getting heel reactions from the fans (who have dubbed him "Boo-tista" and chant it at him), and he's basically said 'screw you and your heroes' and promised to destroy them and win the championship, adding at the end of all his promos, "Deal. With. It."

                        As I noted previously, Daniel Bryan is one of the crowd favorites at the moment, but the storyline has been going that the WWE's Authority-- particularly company COO Triple H and his wife, one of WWE's principal owners, Stephanie McMahon-- don't think that Daniel Bryan should be champion. They've dressed their dislike for him in corporate doubletalk, saying that he doesn't have the look of a champion, saying that all the decisions they make are what's "best for business," and calling him a "B+ player," while lauding their hand-chosen champion, Randy Orton, as an "A+ player" by contrast.

                        So there's been roadblock after roadblock in Bryan's way to trying to get back in the title hunt, such as the Authority making him wrestle multiple times in one night, putting him in 3-on-1 handicap matches, and having the Authority's new Director of Operations, Corporate Kane, continually interfere in Bryan's matches.

                        Daniel Bryan got fed up with it and challenged Triple H to a match at Wrestlemania. HHH turned him down, saying that he doesn't fight "B+ players," and said he'd try to find Bryan a match on the card, but it was clear that he wasn't going to listen, no matter what the fans or Bryan said. So this week on Raw, Daniel Bryan and his fans-- the Yes Movement-- occupied the show. A huge crowd of fans in Bryan shirts filled the ring and ringside area, and Bryan declared they would not leave until the Authority gave him what he wanted. HHH and Stephanie tried to order security to get rid of them, but with only two security guards, they were obviously outnumbered and couldn't do anything. They tried to start the next match, but the Yes Movement wouldn't leave. Stephanie started screaming at them to get out, and finally had to be escorted to the back. HHH furiously finally agreed to give Bryan the match, warning him that he'd destroy him for this, but Bryan wanted another stipulation added to the match-- if he beats HHH, then Bryan is added to the main event to face Orton and Batista for the championship. HHH agreed, even more furious, and had to be dragged to the back by security as well.

                        Meanwhile, Bray Wyatt has been targeting John Cena, calling him and everything that he believes in a lie. Cena responded by trying to make fun of him by calling him a homeless person from the swamp, but Wyatt just waved this off as Cena trying to make everything a joke. He said to Cena, "If you look up at me, you will see a friend, and if you look down at me, you will see an enemy, but if you look me in the eye, you will see a god." Cena, fed up with Wyatt's interference in his matches and his words, challenged him to a match at Mania, which Wyatt has accepted.

                        Brock Lesnar, 'The Beast Incarnate,' has been chomping at the bit to get a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, going so far as to declare himself #1 contender. However, he wasn't granted a shot at the title, and took his frustrations out on some members of the roster until the Authority gave him an open contract for Wrestlemania. Dissatisfied with not having any "history" to conquer, Lesnar and his advocate Paul Heyman were ready to walk out of WWE, until The Undertaker showed up. Undertaker is undefeated at Wrestlemania, having gone 21-0, and Lesnar immediately accepted the challenge, signing the contract and slapping the pen into Undertaker's chest. Undertaker responded by stabbing Lesnar's hand with the pen and chokeslamming him through the contract-signing table. Heyman, ever a weasel, tried to talk Undertaker out of the match, not wanting to see The Streak conquered, but Undertaker basically told him to shut up and take a message back to Lesnar: that come Wrestlemania, Brock Lesnar will "Rest. In. Peace."

                        Hulk Hogan has returned to WWE and is the host of Wrestlemania. He's largely there to hype the show, hype WWE's new WWE Network subscription video-on-demand service, and say "brother" a lot. He also announced the Andre the Giant Memorial 30-Man Over-the-Top-Rope Battle Royal(, Brother), with the winner getting a trophy.

                        Current Card
                        • WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Randy Orton defends vs Batista
                        • #YesMovement Fights The Authority - Daniel Bryan vs Triple H - if Bryan wins, he is added to the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match
                        • The Righteous vs The Wicked - John Cena vs Bray Wyatt
                        • The Streak vs The Beast - The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar
                        • Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
                          Confirmed Entrants: Ryback, Curtis Axel, Big E


                        Mark Crozer & The Rels, the band behind Bray Wyatt's theme "Broken Out in Love" (or "Live in Fear" as WWE calls it), will be performing the song live at Wrestlemania.


                        Jay's Thoughts
                        Well, I was dreading the prospect of being at Mania live, if the main event was really going to be Orton vs Batista. Being in the midst of tens of thousands of angry wrestling fans didn't sound like a good thing. But with the HHH vs Bryan match added, and the stipulation to it, it seems guaranteed that Bryan at least makes it to the main event. (They would never add a stipulation like that without following through.) I still have my doubts about whether he will walk out the champion, even if the story seems obvious-- after six months of the Authority trying to keep him away from the title, he finally overcomes them and becomes the champion.

                        Wyatt vs Cena could be awesome. Wyatt is a fantastic promo, and his swampland cult leader character is fantastically creepy. It remains to be seen if Cena will cut the jokes (or at least keep them to a minimum) in the next few weeks.

                        Undertaker has had a track record of putting on great matches at Mania these last few years (helped by the fact that he usually only wrestles in one match a year anymore), and Lesnar is basically a force of nature. Lesnar may not have the best win/loss record, but he's been booked like a juggernaut that has mowed through two of WWE's go-to big men (Big Show and Mark Henry) while barely breaking his stride. That said, I think Taker still picks up the win here, because The Streak is legendary at this point.

                        I'll withhold judgment on the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal(, Brother) until I see more of the participants in it.
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm hoping that they don't end The Streak. Though they could have a match where Taker wins, but puts over Lesnar. I'd LOVE to see this WM, but I have an eight year old, and we don't watch a whole lot of wrestling anymore.
                          Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My thoughts with the story line/wrestlemania so far.

                            Daniel Bryant - I don't know who come up with the Yes! and No! idea, but they hit on one of the best gimmicks in wrestling. Until the whole yes and no thing, Bryant WAS stuck in the B class. I did always enjoy his matches (even when he was doing the No chant), and am glad they hit on the new gimmick. As most of the fans now, I hope Bryant wins against HHH, and goes on to reclaim the title. I do enjoy the 'Bosses' vs wrestler(s) storyline.

                            Dave Batista - I actually feel for the guy. He puts on a heck of a show usually, but storyline people pretty much fubarred him. Whoever made that decision probably got an earful. I hope they recover from this, and Batista goes to the A- category, but it is going to take a lot.

                            Randy Orton : He puts on a decent show, but is better as a heel then a face. I think they are smart to have him as a heel right now. I do see him losing the title, and really hamming it up, and maybe turning against 'The Authority' .. I am hoping at minimum that he remains a 'anti-hero' or staying 'heel' (I hope he stays heel to be honest).

                            The Authority - As much as I like the 'bad boss' vs the 'good guys' storyline .. I have to facepalm over this. Too much like the corporation gimmick they had a long time ago, BUT .. the players here just can not get me interested. Stephenie (spelling) I love to hate, but recently she's just been Meh. HHH is great as a heel or a face, but again just get a Meh so far. I hope they can step it up and really go all out heel. Right now they are just all out boring. Heck Corporate Kane is more enjoyable to watch then the two main figures. Although, this recent Bryant storyline has started to get me hooked.. so there is hope!

                            Wyatt Family - Was not fans of the members under other names, but I really am enjoying hating the Wyatts. It's fun to boo them, and I do love the storyline so far. They make great heels!

                            John Cena - I don't understand the hate this guy gets. I am not even looking at the fact that he has done more Make a Wish foundation wishes then probably all the other wrestlers combined. Forget for a moment that his wrestling is a B-. The guy does a great 'Shoot'. He is great on the mike, does put on a decent show at least, and makes an excellent face.

                            Wyatts Vs Cena - This storyline might finally see Cena come into his own. I fear at the expense of a great storyline in the Wyatts, but hopefully not. The Wyatts are the best 'bad guy group' they got. The shield is meh, though they have had their moments ... I just can not get into booing them (the shield). Too much effort to hate on the shield. The Wyatts though.. they put a smile on my face. Their wrestling is meh, but Bray is magic on the mike. I hope they keep the feud against Cena going for a long time.

                            Brock Lesnar Vs The Undertaker : Brock Lesnar is boring, I mean I fast forward through most of his stuff. He has no mike skills, his wrestling is meh, and I can't even hate him as a heel. If you ever need something to put you to sleep, put one of his matches on a loop. You will be out like a light. I like Ryback (a Goldberg wanna be) more then Lesnar, and I think Ryback is boring. If Lesnar beats the streak, I will not even bother watching WWE anymore. I barely watch now, but that would be the final nail in the coffin.
                            Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Mytical View Post
                              My thoughts with the story line/wrestlemania so far.
                              My responses--

                              Spelling correction-- Daniel Bryan. I've been a fan of his for years, well before he came to WWE, when he was THE BEST wrestler on the indie circuit. He is one of the best wrestlers in the world, and he was capable of wrestling to whatever audience he was put it front of. Put him in front of a Ring of Honor crowd that wants intense physical contests? He'll smash the hell out of his opponent and tie them into knots. Put him in front of a Chikara Pro crowd that likes entertaining matches? He'll have fun and crack wise, while still smashing the hell out of his opponents and tying them in knots. He had plenty of personality on the indies, but it worked mostly because of the smaller venues.

                              The Yes! thing he started while he was World Heavyweight Champion on Smackdown, an obnoxious thing he did to piss off the fans because he kept sneaking out wins over Big Show and Sheamus and Mark Henry. It caught on after Wrestlemania 28's post-Mania Raw, when the fans started chanting "Yes!" all night out of protest for his 18-second loss the night before. So he started chanting "No!" in retaliation for the fans "stealing" his catchphrase, and then Team Hell No helped him show that he had plenty of personality and could be funny, while also being an absolute badass.

                              The Authority angle is exactly what he's needed to be pushed to the top, and apparently he's earned a lot of respect backstage for his work ethic and resolve. I think it was last spring, Bryan suffered a stinger in a match and the WWE brass ended a match out of concern for his health. He was furious and got into it backstage with them, saying he knew his limitations and that he could have finished the match. I really hope they can get behind him.

                              Dave Batista.
                              The problem Batista has is that he left for four years, and came back and was immediately plugged into a top program. It's one thing if a returning star is someone like The Rock-- the greatest showman in recent WWE memory, beloved by the fans because HE'S THE FUCKING ROCK. Batista never had that level of respect from the fans, and he's come back with an attitude of "I'm better than this, I'm only here because I want the title." The Rock, by contrast, came back with an attitude of "I came from here, I'm coming home because I love this business," and the title was more of an afterthought.

                              It doesn't help Batista's case that he's clearly getting winded VERY quickly, and cardio is one of the most important things any wrestler needs to have. That they also plugged him into the title picture ahead of the fans' darling Daniel Bryan just pissed them off. I think the intent was to repeat the Jericho/HHH Undisputed Championship angle they did twelve years ago. (A hated wrestler beats the top faces in the company to claim both top titles and unify them, a big star returns after a prolonged absence to win the Royal Rumble, and goes on to humble and defeat the hated champion at Wrestlemania.)

                              I'll give him credit for being great as the douchebag entitled superstar heel. It was some of his best work before his departure four years ago. It's far more interesting than just big strong faceguy, like he'd been before turning heel. I'm a Batista fan, but I wouldn't put him anywhere near A- level. He's a solid B, at best, in my opinion.

                              Randy Orton.
                              I'll agree that he's a better heel than a face, but I think his plodding, methodical entitled heel (Legacy era) was boring, and his current whiny, I'm-the-champ-I-need-protecting heel act is ... just not a good fit. Something between his arrogant Legend Killer heel persona and his moments-away-from-violence IED heel persona would be a much better fit. He hasn't found that balance currently. I think when he loses the title, we'll see more of the IED heel come back.

                              The Authority
                              I thought the Authority was a good revisiting of the Corporation of old, with a nice twist on it by having them juuust toeing the line by claiming everything they do is "best for business," while clearly being biased and spinning justifications for their actions. (Contrast with the Corporation, which was just overtly and unapologetically heel.) The problem that the Authority has is that Mr. & Mrs. Stephanie never look vulnerable. Vince McMahon is not afraid to look a buffoon and get his ass kicked to pop a rating or cap a storyline off. HHH, meanwhile, has a tendency to book himself to look like a badass among badasses, and due to the PG rating and WWE's sponsors (Mattel, in particular), Stephanie CANNOT be attacked by a man, even to receive her comeuppance, and none of the Divas will stand up to her, so we can't hope for one of them to take her down a peg.

                              Corporate Kane (or 401Kane, if you weeel) is just more amazing work from one of WWE's best workers. Kane has always been praised for his safety as a worker, he's kept himself more or less in shape, and he's managed to make ANY bizarre twist to his character or backstory fit with the overall continuity. When he finally retires, he's a shoo-in for backstage producer roles and the Hall of Fame.

                              Wyatt Family.
                              I'm familiar with Luke Harper's work on the indies as Brodie Lee. He looks the same now as he did then, and all he's really done is go even more wild-eyed than usual, stare blankly/worshipfully at Wyatt, and go "Yeahyeahyeahyeah." And it works. Erick Rowan has been wrestling for ten years, apparently, and still occasionally looks lost, but they've managed to cover it pretty well. I like his work as the masked brute that goes berserk when the mask comes off. Sure, it's almost Festus 2.0, but keeping him in a team covers his weaknesses.

                              And what can I say about Bray Wyatt? When he was still Husky Harris, he had a sleazy look about him that would have been a great fit, but then they sent him back to FCW/NXT to lose some weight and get repackaged. We got Bray Wyatt out of it and he's taken it and become an amazing person to watch. He's fantastically creepy, he's got the cult-leader speech patterns (complete with poetic/literate references and phraseology) down perfectly. Couple that with big man moves and incredible speed, and you've got a solid talent for the next few years.

                              John Cena.
                              The reason Cena gets so much hate is because he's been rammed down our throats, nonstop, for the last ten years. And in that time, there has been absolutely no development to his character, and he's NEVER made to look truly vulnerable. He might sell a beat-down for a bit, but then the home-stretch of the match hits and he suddenly pops up and hits his Five Moves of Doom and wins the match, as if nothing had happened to him. He's Superman, but without kryptonite or any other form of weakness that could be exploited to make him vulnerable and make it believable that he could possibly lose. Couple that with his in-ring style, which often just follows the usual punch-kick plus some signature moves WWE standard style, it makes him boring to most fans older than 12.

                              Even Hulk Hogan wasn't on top in the business as long as Cena has been. But Hogan also changed up his character during that type. The Rock changed up his character in all that time (blue-chipper to cocky heel to cocky face to catchphrase machine to Hollywood heel to catchphrase machine again). Even Stone Cold changed up his character a bit by turning heel. All Cena has done in the last ten years is switch up from wrestling trunks to jorts to cargo shorts, with various T-shirts of garish colors.

                              I have no problem with Cena-the-person. He's a good person, he's dedicated to his charity Make-a-Wish work, he's a beast about keeping in shape. Cena-the-wrestler I cannot stand, for all the above reasons. He's capable of throwing in some new moves now and then, but it's not very common, and it's not enough to keep me interested.

                              Wyatts vs Cena.
                              This storyline won't be the one where Cena comes into his own. I don't really have much hope that they'll let Cena look too vulnerable, but Wyatt at least has the chops on the microphone to neutralize Cena's attempts at laughing him off. And before you 'meh' their in-ring work, remember the Cena/Umaga feud from a few years back? They ended up having a brutal war of a match that actually helped Cena look dominant without it just being a basic 'lol Cena winz' victory, because Umaga came out looking like a beast despite losing his own undefeated streak.

                              It's imperative that Wyatt come out looking strong, and should win the match in order to do so. Otherwise, the Wyatts will probably be dead in the water.

                              Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker.
                              Lesnar won't break The Streak. I don't find Lesnar that boring. Granted, he's slowed down a bit, in part due to age, and in part due to the change of his character into MMA fighter. Fortunately, they recognize he's not great on the mic, and keep his talking to a minimum and let Paul Heyman, the best talker in the WWE right now, do it for him. I like Lesnar in the ring, though. He can plod a bit, but he's also a physical beast, strong as hell and fast as well. There's always a sense, watching him, that he's seconds away from going absolutely berserk and murdering someone, too. Plus, he's got one of the best themes. As soon as Lesnar's music hits, it's like a "brown pants" moment, because you know that someone's about to get destroyed.
                              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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