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I want to believe this was a prank, but something in my mind makes me think it was real. Because, as we all know, some people really are this uncoupled from reality.
It was late, about 3:30-4:00am, and the store phone rang. I answered it, and the person on the other end was wanting to know if we sold pizza. Yes, I told her, we sold frozen pizza. No, she was asking if we sold HOT pizza. Yes, we sell hot pizza by the slice and by the box, however, not during the overnight shift.
She asked me if I can make a hot pizza and deliver it to her. Of course, I told her no, the store does not deliver at all, much less prepared food.
“But (pizza restaurant up the road) is closed!”
Yes, they close around 11pm most nights.
“But I want a pizza!”
(I’m omitting a lot of the back-and-forth as she tried to dance around the word ‘no’. We’re all familiar with the creative things customers try in an effort to get their way, right?)
“I don’t understand this. You can make hot pizza. You have a car, don’t you? Why can’t you make a pizza and deliver it to me?!”
Because it’s not part of my job, and this isn’t a restaurant. If you want pizza that bad, I guess you’re going to have to drive to the store and buy one and prepare it yourself.
“I don’t have a car, smartass! That’s why I’m calling YOU!”
Oh, for the luvva….
Look, lady, it’s late, the store doesn’t deliver, and I have a lot of work to do before morning rush. The bottom line is, no, I won’t make and deliver a pizza to you, because it’s not my job.
In the end, she called me an asshole and hung up. C’est la vie, I suppose.
She called again about a half hour later to make certain that I understood that she thought I was an asshole. Yes, fear not, random, probably-stoned, pizza-craving insomniac lady, I got that message loud and clear. Go sleep off whatever substances you’ve indulged in tonight.
If this was a prank, it was awfully well played out, which means the caller has a great deal of spare time. If it was real, then this person evidently has the ability to roam free amongst us. Now tell me – which do YOU think is the scarier thought?
It was late, about 3:30-4:00am, and the store phone rang. I answered it, and the person on the other end was wanting to know if we sold pizza. Yes, I told her, we sold frozen pizza. No, she was asking if we sold HOT pizza. Yes, we sell hot pizza by the slice and by the box, however, not during the overnight shift.
She asked me if I can make a hot pizza and deliver it to her. Of course, I told her no, the store does not deliver at all, much less prepared food.
“But (pizza restaurant up the road) is closed!”
Yes, they close around 11pm most nights.
“But I want a pizza!”
(I’m omitting a lot of the back-and-forth as she tried to dance around the word ‘no’. We’re all familiar with the creative things customers try in an effort to get their way, right?)
“I don’t understand this. You can make hot pizza. You have a car, don’t you? Why can’t you make a pizza and deliver it to me?!”
Because it’s not part of my job, and this isn’t a restaurant. If you want pizza that bad, I guess you’re going to have to drive to the store and buy one and prepare it yourself.
“I don’t have a car, smartass! That’s why I’m calling YOU!”
Oh, for the luvva….
Look, lady, it’s late, the store doesn’t deliver, and I have a lot of work to do before morning rush. The bottom line is, no, I won’t make and deliver a pizza to you, because it’s not my job.
In the end, she called me an asshole and hung up. C’est la vie, I suppose.
She called again about a half hour later to make certain that I understood that she thought I was an asshole. Yes, fear not, random, probably-stoned, pizza-craving insomniac lady, I got that message loud and clear. Go sleep off whatever substances you’ve indulged in tonight.
If this was a prank, it was awfully well played out, which means the caller has a great deal of spare time. If it was real, then this person evidently has the ability to roam free amongst us. Now tell me – which do YOU think is the scarier thought?
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