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Another One From the LAST DELIVERY OF THE NIGHT File..

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  • Another One From the LAST DELIVERY OF THE NIGHT File..

    Homeless Dickhead

    Last order of the night. I take an order to this apartment complex, well I thought I was at least. Before I could get in, this guy walks up to me and says..

    SC: I think that's for me, are you from (Pizza Place)?

    It really makes me uncomfortable when people do this. There's a reason why we insist on delivering to houses and not to street corners. It's for our safety. Not to mention, we might have to call the phone number in case we got the address wrong or something. If somebody lies about where they live and then pulls this kind of crap, I'm well within my bounds to just drive away.

    ME: I sure am. How's it going?
    SC: Pretty good.
    ME: Ok, you're total is $14.20.

    Customer pulls his back pack off and start to go through one of the pockets. Starts laying out a bunch of coins onto the roof of my car.. A lot of nickels and pennies, too. I'm debating in my head whether I'm going to let him pull this kind of crap.

    ME: Uhhh.. sigh...
    SC: $10.55...$10.60...$10.65...

    I'm starting to get pissed now.

    SC: $13.69...$13.70...$13.71!

    I'm visibly angry now.

    SC: $14.19 and $14.20! There you go!

    ME: You know what, man? This isn't really that cool. Besides the fact that you want to pay me in like mostly pennies? Not tipping, well, that's just kind of a dick move. It actually costs me gas money to drive all the way out here, so you're essentially ripping me off. Not to mention the time out of my night to deliver to you and to stand here while you pull small change out of your backpack and count it all out.

    SC: Oh...welll....really? I... don't they pay you gas money and wages?

    ME: I make like 4 dollars an hour which my employer pays to me for services that I provide to them. I get a dollar a delivery, but that barely even covers wear and tear on my car, let alone the gas. That's all separate from the fact that you as a customer should be paying me for an extra service that's in addition to the food that you bought. And besides, do you really think that I'm working this job just so I can break even?

    Do you understand what the point of a job is? (obviously not since you beg for a living).

    SC: Well, you should get a better job!

    And I was about to just take your change and let it go. The fact that my little public service announcement has had no effect on you whatsoever is not surprising, I guess.

    ME: And you should find another pizza place to order from!

    Let's follow this line of reasoning to it's logical conclusion. If every delivery guy "got a better job", then who would deliver your pizza to you?

    I push all of his change off of the hood of my car and back into the still open pocket of his backpack, take the pizza bag and start getting back into my car.

    ME: Sorry man. I won't take your coins as payment.
    SC: You can't do that! FuckyouBlah,blah,blah,rabble,rabble,rabbleI'manass hole!

    I drive away pissed at the precious minutes of my life I've just wasted that I'll never get back. I can take a certain amount of abuse, but when someone tells me that I need to get a better job because of something that they and not my employers have done to fuck me over and are responsible for.. well, I'm sorry. We're done.
    Last edited by Nordel; 06-03-2014, 12:41 PM.

  • #2
    Seems to me that he needs to take a bit of his own advice instead of passing judgments on your employment.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Nordel View Post
      Homeless Dickhead
      Do you understand what the point of a job is? (obviously not since you beg for a living).

      ME: Well, you should get a better job!

      And I was about to just take your change and let it go. The fact that my little public service announcement has had no effect on you whatsoever is not surprising, I guess.

      SC: And you should find another pizza place to order from!
      I think you might have the bolded back to front.

      And yeah, in a tipping culture, paying with exact change (in coins no less) is pretty annoying.

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh, thanks man. Fixed

        Comment


        • #5
          That was rich . . . the homeless bum telling his pizza delivery guy to get a better job.

          Walk to the store, asshole, then tell me your driver should get a better job.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

          Comment


          • #6
            Not a problem

            Comment


            • #7
              I salute you, dude. I am a delivery driver myself, and all my fellow drivers would love to tell that guy off like you did. Unfortunately, doing so would mean we'd be looking for a different job. I know I would've been very tempted to do what you did. I sincerely hope you won't get into trouble.
              I did however have a customer say something like that to me when I worked at Lowe's. He was a private contractor and came in to buy some stuff for his boss. He always acted like he was so important. He had big heavy bags of cement, and I needed 1 hand to hold it up, and the other hand to scan it with the hand scanner. He refused to help me and watched me struggle with it, (I'm only 5 ft 4 and not very strong btw) and after I asked him to please just hold it up for 1 second, he tells me I should not be working there. I firmly look at him and tell him not to tell me where to work, and he shuts up. Any customer who says that needs to mind their own fucking business. We work where we work, whether or not we enjoy the job, and they should leave it at that or go shop somewhere else.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Golden Phoenix View Post
                And yeah, in a tipping culture, paying with exact change (in coins no less) is pretty annoying.
                Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Barney has to bail Homer out of jail ("Fifty bucks?! What'd you do, kill a judge?"), and we cut to Chief Wiggum laboriously sorting through a pile of change scrounged from Barney's sofa cushions ("We normally don't take rusty money"). And even if you count out the change beforehand, it still doesn't matter, because the delivery driver you hand it to is going to have to count it out for themselves to make sure they haven't been shorted, let alone receiving a tip.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I've been in pretty much that exact situation before, multiple times, really. Told one guy something to the tune of "I'd rather pay my employee rate for this pie and have a snack tonight for gaming than deal with $18 in change"

                  One of the things I liked about delivering for the cranky Italian couple with the small pizza place, they'd back me up on pretty much anything, and if you called to complain they'd wind up laying into you in rapid fire Italian.

                  The changemongers remind me of another customer type I hated.
                  The Party-Pass-Around. Group of people, usually involving alcohol and music or sports, everyone chips in to buy the food. Not too bad when they do the math and collect the money beforehand. Agonizing when they have to go around the party and try and collect money from each person while you're standing there in the door with everyone's eyes on the pizzas you're holding.

                  I think my favorite PPA encounter, even though it was a pass-da-hat, was delivering to a strip club. That club had it's dressing rooms upstairs, and the girls had me go around to the fire stairs(apparently anything they ordered that went through inside wound up "taxed" by the bouncers, dj, bartender, etc, so they'd wind up having to overorder). Wound up waiting in the dressing room while they got the cash together. Of course they paid me in ones. Friggin glitter-covered, perfumey-smelling one dollar bills, ROFL. They did happen to tip decently, makes sense that a peeler would understand tipping, eh?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth BowserKoopa1 View Post
                    I salute you, dude. I am a delivery driver myself, and all my fellow drivers would love to tell that guy off like you did. Unfortunately, doing so would mean we'd be looking for a different job. I know I would've been very tempted to do what you did. I sincerely hope you won't get into trouble.
                    Nah. We specifically don't have to take a fist full of change as payment at my job, not to mention he misrepresented his address and house situation. I could have drove off before the whole thing even started if I felt I was in danger, but I was TRYING to be nice.

                    We're a local owned mom and pop type place, so we don't have to answer to corporate or anything like that. I've worked for the big D pizza place and I would much rather work here any day.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                      Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Barney has to bail Homer out of jail ("Fifty bucks?! What'd you do, kill a judge?"), and we cut to Chief Wiggum laboriously sorting through a pile of change scrounged from Barney's sofa cushions ("We normally don't take rusty money").
                      "You gotta help me Barney, I'm in jail."

                      "You are? Hey Homer, go to the window. Hiya neighbor! I CAN SEE YOU!"
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                        That was rich . . . the homeless bum telling his pizza delivery guy to get a better job.

                        Walk to the store, asshole, then tell me your driver should get a better job.
                        The homeless bum would never make it to the store. He'd be too busy choosing different street corners to solicit money from while on the way, he'd sooner or later forget EXACTLY where he was headed. And if he ever remembered the reason, "Eehhhh...I'll just have them deliver to me here again. It's easier this way. I think I have just enough money from turning in pop bottles!"

                        Comment

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