Is it weird to share a room with your roomie

[Valentinian]

It's not your job to fix his life for him, or shelter him from the consequences of his own mistakes. Honestly, it sounds like he has no idea what a huge favour you're offering! You're willing to let him stay, free, so that he and his pets are not homeless, and his response is basically "cool yeah so I want to share your room and invite all my friends over and act like I own the place"? And he initially lied about why he wanted to share your room (the cockroach story)? NOPE. Dude should be falling at your feet and working out how to be the best, least obtrusive, most helpful housemate ever!

[April]

So I've been following this a little bit, and a couple of warning things pop up for me.

Disclaimer--he's your buddy, so this is all up to you, feel free to ignore me

Talking about parties before he moves in is concerning. I've got a picture of a frat type party in my head. Possibly set up for when you are not home

his own family is refusing to take him. Which begs the question-how awful was he when he was living with his own family?

What is his idea of "helping paying rent"? is that half of your rent? 20 bucks when he has it?

Allowing him to live there, even off the lease, gives him "residency". If you get to the point where you want him out, you have to file an eviction if he refuses to leave. which can be costly, and can take months.

[taxguykarl]

admitted that the reason he wants to move in my bedroom is that he wants the living room free so he could invite his other friends over and have parties in there.

IOW, he wants to make your place a party house. That would likely compromise your lease and cause some animosity with the landlord and police.
I still say no way, Jose to making this your roommate, friend or not. Sorry, it still sounds to me like a professional freeloader or at best a people user.

[KuariKaydrith]

Add me to the list of people saying NOPE! Even if he initially agrees to the rules you set down I get the feeling that he won't adhere to them for very long. I fully understanding wanting to help somebody out but he made his own bed and now he needs to lay in it - it is not up to you to save him and his animals. Furthermore, without a job how the heck is he paying for what his pets need? Would that fall on you if he moves in and can't come up with the money to buy them food, bedding, whatever? I get the feeling that he would just use this as a means to get more out of you, using his animals as leverage.

If I were in your shoes I'd be telling Jo that you cannot let him move in with you. If he pushes you can probably come up with something about your lease/landlord not allowing you to have anybody else living with you and you'd rather not wind up evicted. Just the fact that he lied to you about the whole roach thing and clearly wants to use your place as a party pad sends up all sorts of red flags - if you let him move in you will have nothing but problems, even if he isn't on the lease or anything like that.

Besides, real friends wouldn't pull the stunts he's been trying to pull on you.

[XCashier]

Everybody has had lots of very good reasons why you should say no to this guy being your roommate. No job, exotic pets that he has no job to pay the upkeep for and which would get you in trouble with your landlord, family doesn't want to take him in, trying to worm his way into your bedroom, wanting to throw parties in your place, etc.

This guy would be no good as a roommate. I think, deep down, you realize that as well, going by this quote from your first post:

I really don't want to,

Listen to your own instincts. Unless you are truly 100% okay with taking someone as a roommate, don't do it.

[MoonCat]

XCashier summed it up nicely. I just want to add, imagine your apt. filled with his buddies partying. Would you feel safe with a bunch of strangers in your place?

[Greenday]

Clearly I missed something between the last time I read the OP and now but even without the parties, my senses said "hell no". Sounded like a terrible idea from the beginning.

[BookstoreEscapee]

admitted that the reason he wants to move in my bedroom is that he wants the living room free so he could invite his other friends over and have parties in there

Does he not trust his friends around his stuff?

[MoonCat]

Does he not trust his friends around his stuff?

I'm guessing he needs more room for the kegs and the stereo system.

[protege]

IOW, he wants to make your place a party house. That would likely compromise your lease and cause some animosity with the landlord and police.

That's pretty much what I was thinking. Too many wild parties could easily lead to your home becoming listed as a neighborhood nuisance. Even one loud party could lead to damage, which could give the landlord cause for eviction--your fault or not.

[RootedPhoenix]

Given that he

1) Wants to throw parties in your home, and
2) Wants to have exotic pets in your home,

both of which could get you evicted, I'd say you shouldn't let him move in with you.

His family not letting him live with them may or may not be a huge red flag, as it really depends on the sort of people they are. Some folks are unreasonable, but sometimes the family is good and it's this one person that's not reasonable.

Personally, I'd not let him move in.

[CyberLurch]

XCashier summed it up nicely. I just want to add, imagine your apt. filled with his buddies partying. Would you feel safe with a bunch of strangers in your place?

This, absolutely. I agree with what everyone else has said - essentially, 'Hell NO' - but this is the icing on the cake. He might be the nicest guy in the world, but who's to say what he's like all liquored up - and what his friends (whom you probably won't know) are like. I see heartburn written all over this. Please, tell him NO!

[April]

Since it's been forever...out of curiosity, what did you decide?

[HotelMinion]

Lol. It seems that everyone thinks that he's a party animal with kegs full of beer. I'm laughing because he's not that way at all. He's very serious, like me, though more outgoing. Picturing him in a frat party makes roflmao.
Well it turns out that I didn't have to decide, his dad got a new house and has agreed to take him in. I figure two men might be better than two opposite sex friends. Too bad that he's got a commute to go to school, but he's used to it. TBH I feel kind of disappointed, it would've been nice to have a cleaner and cook around but I suppose it's for the best. Thanks for everyone's input really appreciated it.

[Soulstealer]

Lol. It seems that everyone thinks that he's a party animal with kegs full of beer. I'm laughing because he's not that way at all. He's very serious, like me, though more outgoing.

It wasn't that we feared non-stop parties per say but he was giving off some bad signals such as not respecting your privacy and trying to make demands on someone's home when you're basically doing them a huge favour.