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Holiday tunes for us!

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  • #31
    (To the tune of "Jingle Bells")

    Dashing thru the store,
    An SC on my tail.
    "I want to leave now!"
    As I run I wail.

    Sprouts have all run out,
    "You've got them round the back!"
    Wishing I could give,
    The SC a good smack.

    "Oh, bloody hell!"
    An SC's yell,
    "Come here and let me pay!"
    Oh what shit it is to work,
    Day before Christmas Day!

    Oh, SCs shout,
    Toys run out,
    Wish I could just leave.
    Oh what shit it is to work,
    On fucking Christmas Eve!
    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
    My DeviantArt.

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    • #32
      You are now being subjected to Irv's version of "I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas"

      Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
      That crazy holiday
      I yust go insane, right in the brain
      As the shoppers squander their pay

      Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
      Scraping ice off my car really sucks
      There's two feet of snow, the howling wind blows
      But corporate doesn't give two fucks

      They want Wiis and Playstations
      To buy their kids' elation
      But the stores yust sold out and so
      I hit the bar for some libation

      Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas
      I yust hope to stay out of the dock
      Customers scream, shout and let off steam
      How much longer 'till I punch the clock?

      On the day before Christmas
      The swamp is a zoo
      It's been that way straight
      Since November 22

      I look at my watch; it's 4:35
      And I am not feeling so very alive
      2000-piece truck to fill and put away
      Why do we need all this crap anyway?

      Zhus Zhus and TVs, some shoes and a yuicer
      To maybe make the locals' pants fit looser
      The doors have yust opened, and here comes the herd
      To trample and fight and flip me the bird

      They ask stupid questions, my poor head throbs
      And some bratty kid is churning out sobs
      A thief rushes out with some ipods he stole
      His stocking will certainly be filled with coal

      From his office the manager comes down to say
      "Pick up the pace and get carts right away!
      Our sales, they suck, the numbers are scary
      Big layoffs may be coming this Yanuary"

      In toys some woman and a guy named Louie
      Are fighting over something that goes ka-blooie
      The woman slugs Louie, and makes a mad dash
      But the cops have been called and they're here in a flash

      They arrest her and she socks a cop in the yunk
      At eleven in the morning she's stinking drunk
      And over the PA, it's Bing Crosby I hear
      Singing "it's the most wonderful time of the year"

      And then when the gifts they all bought get spurned
      I'll be back in two days to take the returns

      Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
      You may think me so very queer
      But me I say, it's quite okay
      That it only comes once a year
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #33
        Brilliant Guys & Gals!!! just Brilliant!!!!

        I would gladly offer my voice to the chorus, but not sure how I would record it or get it to you

        I will just sing these quitely to myself as I deal with each SC between now and New Year.

        Keep them coming.....
        "When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
        "We don't have a gold plated toilet"
        "Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

        -Jasper Fforde

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        • #34
          Ironically, I came up with the Jingle Bells one at work, in between customers. XD
          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
          My DeviantArt.

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