The Wireless SC's Part 2 -- The total inversion of the customer - rep relationship.

[icantbelievethesepeople]

This is something that I believe is unique to the wireless industry. It is as though reasonable and sane expectations have been completely subverted in this context.

Let's go through what a mock sane retail transaction and onward might look like.
One purchases equipment. If, within the buyers remorse period, one is dissatisfied or some defect comes to light, it is returned to the store. If one has an issue with billing, one contacts the billing or customer service department. If the buyer's remorse period has expired and one is well into one's warranty, the manufacturer is contacted and you negotiate the terms of either repair or replacement. Etc....etc...

Let's now look at what transaction lacking sanity looks like.
You purchase your car at xyz dealership, you are very happy with your new vehicle and are quite happy with the financing agreement that was provided for you. Yet, your stick needs a bit more flash, so you buy a new one somewhere completely unrelated. You then discover you would rather not put it on so you take it to any dealer with the same sign as the one you purchased your vehicle from and find a sales rep and ask him to install it. Much to your dismay, the sales rep refuses-- you can't understand why. You insist that, because you are paying A monthly fee for the car, this obligates any sales rep working at a location with the same name to install any and all after market parts for you. Unconvinced by this argument, the sales rep refuses and you leave-- very angry and self-righteous like.

When you return home you realize that all your stuff is still in your old car! Your wife will be using that car now, and you really need that stuff. The problem is, you dont really feel like moving all your crap from the old one to the new one! That sort of labor is for peasants and wage slaves, and you are really important, not delusional. So what do you do? You take both your car and your wife's to another dealer with the same name, not the other one with the terrible customer service, who did that servant think he was? You and your wife laugh over the phone about how you will get that other rep fired for his abject service while you drive to the other location.
Once having arrived, you find a free sales rep and inform him that you need all your crap from the old car placed in the new one EXACTLY as it was before, speed it up please, you are in a hurry. The rep stares at you blankly, you can tell he is at a loss for words, once he regains his composure, he refuses. Again? But how could this be?!?! You pay a monthly fee! How unreasonable can these people get?!! All you are asking is that all your old crap be moved to the new car EXACTLY as is was. Noticing your ire, the rep informs you that if you had purchased it as this location and you wanted some settings copied, he would have happy done it and even that is not at all obligatory, it is done as a courtesy-- yet what you are asking will take an obscene amount of time and you didnt even purchase it from him. On those grounds, he refuses. You leave, defeated by mere oven peasants, how could this have come to pass? You are so important.

Later down the line, having forgotten the terrible experience some months pass. In a drunken stupor, you take a crowbar to your own windows and chassis and cause considerable damage. You wake up and are shocked at what has happened, you cant believe it-- but aha! You insured the car you remember. Now instead of contacting your insurer you decide that, for some reason, it would'nt be a complete waste of time to go to the dealership. You have your car towed to the dealer, upon arriving, the reps look incredibly confused at what is transpiring you notice. You see all of them trying to look as busy as possible but you cleverly see through the ruse. One of them will deal with this, you think to yourself. Once having established a conversation, you inform the rep of your drunken stupor antics and then point to a newer, nicer model and say "ill take that one" Rep responds "haha I see, you just figure youll get a new one instead of paying the deductible, thats fine...let me show you some of the features."

You respond "no wait a minute, I have insurance this should be free". Rep responds "um...what". You respond "well you see, I pay extra monthly for insurance, which means that no matter the context under which I destroy my own property, or how many times for that matter, your company is obligated replace my automobile an infinite amount of times with nicer ones at no cost" Rep responds "actually sir, that isnt the way insurance works-- you see, you have to pay a deductible when you file a claim, especially since you just admit that it was you that caused the damage". This is the last straw for you, you are too important for this, I mean-- how can this be happening to you!? You dont have to pay deductibles on your dental, medical, or motorcycle insurance, they just do everything for free all the time! I mean, come one, you make sandwiches for a living FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT.

See what I mean by a complete inversion of what a normal business relationship would look like? Sprinkle in total subversion of sanity and you have the wireless industry. I could go on and on. These people think we are phone sorcerers-- you would never dream of taking your car to the sales rep if you had issues with it instead of a mechanic would you? Etc... Etc..

Actually, that was really fun to post

In part 3 we will discuss extra crazy types of customers.

[Geek King]

I would point out that, as far as the moving stuff from one to another goes, your car analogy breaks down somewhat, depending on the phone. Some older ones require SIM card readers to get the information, which are not exactly sold at the corner store.

Copying from newer smart phones is somewhat easier, but usually requires knowing where your items are stored on the phone, or using a bit of software designed for doing just that.. Considering that I can speak from experience when I state many people can barely work a basic file structure on their computer, and this can also be a matter for a "specialist".

[icmedia]

This is a beautiful analogy of my daily customer interactions. Bravo.

You did, however, leave out the part where the customer recants, claiming that he did NOT, in fact, cause the damage himself- he never said anything of the sort. Then, gets angrier when he finds out that it makes no difference, and he strained his delicate, tiny brain cells to come up with that ruse for nothing.

Otherwise, it is spot-on.

[icantbelievethesepeople]

I included that bit about moving the contacts and photos etc...for a reason. Sure, you are right, a simple sim copy from a non-smartphone to the same is really easy and takes almost no time at all. From smartphone to smartphone it takes about 10 minutes. There are 2 however, that are next to impossible. Iphone to android or blackberry to anything. I have had alot of annoying customers who don't understand that I cannot get their notes to the android device from the iphone unless I manually input them, which, they can go pound sand if they think I am going to do that. Also, I have customers come in wanting transfers from phones they dont even buy from my store, that will never happen, as that is a complete waste of my time. Now, Im happy to do it for customers for customers that actually purchase the phone from my store, unless you demand that I do it-- In which case I will make up some reason why I can't. Why? Because this is a courtesy, I am under no obligation to transfer anyone's personal information from one device to another, just like a realtor is under no obligation to move all your crap from your current house to the one you have purchased-- sadly, this is something I have to remind self-righteous people about all the time, I am always met with blank stares after the realtor example leaves my lips. Of course, followed by some huffing and puffing.

This will be addressed in part 3. Dont you worry!

[TimmyHate]

You did, however, leave out the part where the customer recants, claiming that he did NOT, in fact, cause the damage himself- he never said anything of the sort. Then, gets angrier when he finds out that it makes no difference, and he strained his delicate, tiny brain cells to come up with that ruse for nothing.

Or my personal favorite - "I never said XYZ! I told the first rep ABC!"

Unlucky then that I can pull that phone call, listen to your EXACT WORDS and tell you what you said

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Or my personal favorite - "I never said XYZ! I told the first rep ABC!"

Unlucky then that I can pull that phone call, listen to your EXACT WORDS and tell you what you said

Which I suspect is the real reason they inform you that your call is being recorded for "quality assurance."

[TimmyHate]

Which I suspect is the real reason they inform you that your call is being recorded for "quality assurance."

One of them yes

Actually got 2 cases I'm reccomending for Fraud Prosecutions thanks to recordings

[icmedia]

Since my store is smaller, often people try to convince me that "the guy working yesterday" promised them something. No, madame, that guy was myself. Nice try, please come again.

[Geek King]

I included that bit about moving the contacts and photos etc...for a reason.

Fair enough points. I should point out though, at my workplace we have a contract with the Fast, Quick Run company for our phones. And its the sales people for our contracts who told us to have our people go to their storefronts to copy contact lists from the old dumb, SIM phones when we upgraded them to iPhones.

Certainly not what's happening in every case, but in some cases, your real foe may be the contract sales team. Which really shouldn't surprise me, based on how sales over-promises in so many stories on here.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Let me guess, you have a ton of people who come into your store for tech support issues too?

[icantbelievethesepeople]

Let me guess, you have a ton of people who come into your store for tech support issues too?

Yup, that will be addressed in part 3

[otakuneko]

Since my store is smaller, often people try to convince me that "the guy working yesterday" promised them something. No, madame, that guy was myself. Nice try, please come again.

"Really? I promised you that? Gee that selective amnesia sure is selective. I remember working yesterday, but not you coming in or me promising anything to you."

[prjkt]

Since my store is smaller, often people try to convince me that "the guy working yesterday" promised them something. No, madame, that guy was myself. Nice try, please come again.

I get, "the guy at *other shop* yesterday said this"

As I used to roam between shops, I said, "I was the only guy working at * yesterday. I don't recognise you"

[ComputerNecromancer]

I would point out that, as far as the moving stuff from one to another goes, your car analogy breaks down somewhat, depending on the phone. Some older ones require SIM card readers to get the information, which are not exactly sold at the corner store.

Copying from newer smart phones is somewhat easier, but usually requires knowing where your items are stored on the phone, or using a bit of software designed for doing just that.. Considering that I can speak from experience when I state many people can barely work a basic file structure on their computer, and this can also be a matter for a "specialist".

I used to work in computer support. And when I upgrade my first phone I was *not* happy. There was a message on it with an attached photo. The phone would not let me email it. Nor would it let me tranfer anything to my computer. And the folks at the phone store said they couldn't transfer it over either.

And the phone didn't have a removable memory card of any kind. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

[Geek King]

I used to work in computer support. And when I upgrade my first phone I was *not* happy. There was a message on it with an attached photo. The phone would not let me email it. Nor would it let me tranfer anything to my computer. And the folks at the phone store said they couldn't transfer it over either.

And the phone didn't have a removable memory card of any kind. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

Understandable. I've not had the issue with the phones we use(d), but I've not played with all the different phones out there, either. We've only had about six or seven models total go through my hands total. It sucks that you couldn't get something off of yours. Any hardware engineer who doesn't design an accessible memory system these days should be beaned with an old iMac. A blue one.