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  • #1

    Goofus and Gallant: Workplace Edition

    Could be anyone or anything happening in any workplace.


    ##########

    Can I help you find anything?

    Goofus: Yeah, you can help me find (insert dollar amount here).

    Gallant: No thank you, but I appreciate your attentiveness.

    I'm sorry, we're out of that item. Or we don't appear to carry that item in store, thought it may be available online.

    Goofus: What the fuck man! Why can't you have everything I want in store when I want it? This place suck. (Comes back every other day and every other week even though he always complains)

    Gallant: Online would probably be best. That way I can get exactly what I want and not have to worry about driving to other stores.

    Goofus crams product onto the shelves without checking for the proper location, potentially causing problems when an item rings up a different price.

    Gallant uses his handheld to make sure each product is on the right peg/shelf, or in the right department

    Feel free to add more.
    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Goofus: intentionally picks up product that is at or near its sell-by, then loudly complains at the check-out about company selling spoiled/expired product in order to get it replaced with nearly-new product at a discount or free.

    Gallant: intentionally picks up spoiled or expired product and looks for a member of staff to report it to, in order to prevent such stupidity.
    This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
    I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

    Comment

    • #3
      Goofus: The customer is always right! I say that this item is on sale for 99% off, therefore it IS, because I'm RIGHT!


      Gallant: Oh, my! It looks like someone has swapped the tags on this product; I'll go let someone know right away.
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

      Comment

      • #4
        Goofus complains about customers/coworkers in the workplace where he may be overheard, leading to more workplace hassles.

        Gallant carefully saves all the details for later sharing on CS, so every last shred of humor and irony can be enjoyed by all.

        Comment

        • #5
          Gallant: That item didn't scan? I'll wait patiently while you do a price check.

          Goofus: That item didn't scan? iT mUsT bE fReE dUrRhUrRhUrRhUrR!
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Buzzard View Post
            Goofus complains about customers/coworkers in the workplace where he may be overheard, leading to more workplace hassles.

            Gallant carefully saves all the details for later sharing on CS, so every last shred of humor and irony can be enjoyed by all.
            👍RealUnimportant likes this post.
            ____________________

            Goofus: Hey, this container's split; I'mma need another! *stands and waits for heavens to revolve around them*
            Part 2: Ew, it's leaking! *thrusts container at staff, ensuring they get covered in whatever substance is escaping* I need all of these replaced too. *Indicates items that are completely unspoiled, or that would have been unspoiled if they hadn't been waving the dang container all over the place*
            Part 3: Where did I get it from? (Store name) of course!
            Part 4: Do I get any discount for this?

            Gallant: Hey, this container's split; I can just grab another when we're done, so as not to hold up the line.
            Part 2: Do you have a towel, I think it leaked a bit. I don't think anything's been damaged by it though.
            Part 3: Oh, you're sending someone over to get a new one? It's in (precise location, possibly including GPS co-ordinates)
            Part 4: Sorry again for the mess!
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

            Comment

            • #7
              OMG who remembers Goofus and Gallant! I thought I was the only one!
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth MoonCat View Post
                OMG who remembers Goofus and Gallant! I thought I was the only one!
                I would say it was one of the Highlights of going to the doctor.

                Goofus demands that you take everything out of the package so he can see what's inside. Then when he sees that everything is inside and intact, he either decides not to buy the product or he buys the unopened one. "Because maybe another customer wants the one that was clearly opened."

                Gallant reads the package for the contents or does his research online before coming to the store. But if he does ask the helpful employee to open the package, he purchases the item he just opened.

                ******

                Goofus sits at the dressing rooms and fills out his adult coloring book all day instead of zoning between customers.

                Gallant: Texting: "I can't talk right now. The racks and tables are such a mess and my coworkers are already working so hard to make things nice for the customer"
                Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

                Comment

                • #9
                  There is a long line and only one register open.

                  Goofus: "Arg! This is ridiculous! Why don't they open more check stands?? Can you believe this?" Continues berating cashier when he/she gets to the register, further delaying everyone and flustering the already stressed cashier.

                  Gallant: Waits patiently while getting payment method ready to help the process. When he/she gets to the register they pay, say thank you, and collect their items in an efficient way.
                  Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
                    Gallant: Texting: "I can't talk right now. The racks and tables are such a mess and my coworkers are already working so hard to make things nice for the customer"
                    I'd argue that Gallant wouldn't even check their phone except on breaks.
                    This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                    I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                      I'd argue that Gallant wouldn't even check their phone except on breaks
                      True. I'm mostly thinking of times when I've seen co-workers on their phones for any reason. Could be a legitimate reason like an emergency.
                      Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

                      Comment

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