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Hercules is evil!!!

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  • Hercules is evil!!!

    This is a tale from many moons ago back when Luna was sweet, innocent, and thought all people were nice.

    I was working at Suncoast at the time which was a video store (part of the Sam Goody corp...).

    Usually I was alone in the store since it was such a low volume. I was calling reservations or something at the front counter...maybe special orders - not sure. I saw a woman walk in to the store. I waved hi to her and let her know I'd be right with her. She smiled and walked over to the Disney section of VHS. (This was back when DVD was non-existant.)

    I quickly finished my call with phone customer and walk over to ask lady if she needs help. In her hand was a Suncoast bag so I figured she had a return.

    The woman rounded on me, face red and shaking. I remember taking a step back b/c I didn't understand why she had gone Jeckyll & Hyde on me.

    The following yelling fit isn't 100% word for word as I can't recall that - but I'll put it as well as I can remember.

    SC: I want to return this filth! *shoves bag towards me*
    Luna: *looks in bag* Disneys' Hercules? I know it really wasn't that great but...
    SC: You're forcing children to watch movies telling them there are mutiple Gods and Goddesses! There is only ONE GOD!
    Luna: Um, that's what the movie is about. It's Greek mythology.
    SC: It's FILTH!

    Now, I took the VHS out of the bag - and guess what. It's open. My SM and my DM just had the biggest freak out hissy fit last store meeting about people allowing customers to return open product that wasn't defective. They even went so far as to say they'd start checking all the stuff in the back and if it wasn't defective - they'd write up the person who allowed it to be returned.

    *sigh*

    So I argued with the woman about it being open. I suggested she read the back of the VHS before buying next time, but ultimately I just wanted to get the angry screaming woman OUT of my store.

    She demanded an exchange for a "good family film". I told her to go find something.

    She came up with Grease. Now I just couldn't help myself.

    Luna: Grease?
    SC: Yes! A good family film, not trash like that! *points to poor Hercules VHS on counter*
    Luna: *giggles* So a greek mythology cartoon is bad, but a movie about kids dropping out of school, smoking, getting pregnant...that's okay? Have you ever listened to the lyrics in Greased Lightening?
    SC: It's a good family film!
    Luna: Sure it is. Here's your receipt. Have a nice day.

    I mean I expected her to come up with Anne of Green Gables, or Pollyanna or something more conservative. Not Grease. Heh.

    I did shrink wrap and put the Hercules out on the sales floor again so boss wouldn't see I had allowed a return on it.
    If you are thinking to yourself, "Hmmm, should I post this?" it should probably go HERE.

  • #2
    You know, if this had happened yesterday, I would've been willing to bet the lady would be back in two days later to return Grease for the same reason.
    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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    • #3
      Quoth Kogarashi View Post
      You know, if this had happened yesterday, I would've been willing to bet the lady would be back in two days later to return Grease for the same reason.
      Possibly, but maybe not. Some people glom onto bits and pieces of a Cause, but don't really know much about the whole of it, or even think though what it really means. This happens a lot in politics*, and isn't rare in religion.


      * "No, we can't have a landfill anywhere near me. HEY! WHY DID MY TRASH BILL GO UP? WHAT'S THIS 'ENVIRONMENTAL/FUEL SURCHARGE? I'M GONNA CALL MY REPRESENTATIVE!"

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      • #4
        Ha! Hercules is indeed trash, but not for the reasons she spouted. How about the destruction Disney pulled on the whole of Greek mythology?

        Hercules was born half human, half god, because Zeus raped a human. Hera, Zeus' wife, at no point loved Hercules; she would not have been concerned about his being taken from Olympus. Dis was actually a nice guy, just got the short end of the stick. Pegasus was created where the Gorgon Medusa's blood touched the river Styx. Hercules was on the Argos, there was no way Philoctetes could've had the mast of the Argos if Hercules wasn't already a hero. The Fates didn't cut mortal's threads of life, that would be the Norns. The god you never wanted to piss off was Hera, not Dis. Hell, she plucked the 100 eyeballs from her friend! Her friend! And put them on the peacock's tail.

        And so on. Otherwise, Hercules is a great movie.
        (Sorry, Greek mythology buff)
        Last edited by Imogene; 03-16-2007, 05:48 AM. Reason: Wrong name for the God of the Underworld...
        "I call murder on that!"

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        • #5
          Whoever at Disney came up with that story line should be forced to take classes in Greek mythology every year...and pay for it out of his/her/their own pocket(s). I can't think of the last time a kid's movie made me so mad. (I have an interest in Greek mythology...took a class in high school...still have the notebook somewhere...)

          Let's hope that woman never sees how Disney draws most of their female characters...
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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          • #6
            Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
            Let's hope that woman never sees how Disney draws most of their female characters...
            Or watches the original Little Mermaid, complete with the original packaging. (Supposedly, the castle on the original box is full of male genitalia, and the priest gets "happy" when performing the wedding on Fake Ursula and Mind-Controlled Eric. I haven't seen the movie in forever, so I dunno if this is true or not.)
            I may be free from retail, but the nightmares still linger.....

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            • #7
              Let's hope she never watches The Lion King since apparently the stars in it spell some interesting things.
              I can't decide who's dumber: my customers for their questions or me for willfully listening to their questions.

              My MySpace

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              • #8
                Quoth Myra View Post
                Or watches the original Little Mermaid, complete with the original packaging. (Supposedly, the castle on the original box is full of male genitalia, and the priest gets "happy" when performing the wedding on Fake Ursula and Mind-Controlled Eric. I haven't seen the movie in forever, so I dunno if this is true or not.)
                Myra, I have seen both things you mentioned...and just in case anyone was wondering, it was BEFORE I had such a dirty mind.
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                • #9
                  ::shrugs:: Meh, I didn't care about the rearrangement of Greek mythology in Hercules much (and I'm a major mythology/legend/folklore buff). My big beef is with Disney's mangling of The Black Cauldron. ::twitchtwitch::
                  "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                  - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                  • #10
                    Yeah, I just Googled the lyrics for "Greased Lightning" I guess anything that relates to the 50's is considered to be wholesome and family - even "a real p ssy wagon".

                    root@darkstar: mount -t iso9660 /dev/hdc /cdrom
                    root@darkstar: cp -r /cdrom/lib/* /lib/*
                    root@darkstar: crap
                    -bash crap: command not found
                    root@darkstar: man -k undo

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Juwl View Post
                      How about the destruction Disney pulled on the whole of Greek mythology?
                      It's even sadder when people take Disney's version as canon.

                      I'm still trying to convince my sister that hades was, for lack of a better term, a beaurocrat.
                      I AM the evil bastard!
                      A+ Certified IT Technician

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                      • #12
                        Quoth lordlundar View Post
                        It's even sadder when people take Disney's version as canon.
                        Now that is sad. Disney almost invariably mangles stuff they adapt. The degree to which they mangle it and how tolerable the end result are what varies. Little Mermaid? Acceptable. Pocahontes? Not so much.
                        "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                        - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                        • #13
                          Don't ever talk bad about Grease. only joking. It is good movie, and if I had children, I would watch it with them. It is just like now-a-days, with teenagers getting pregant and what not.
                          Under The Moon Paranormal Research
                          San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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                          • #14
                            Quoth that_chick_in_I.T. View Post
                            Yeah, I just Googled the lyrics for "Greased Lightning" I guess anything that relates to the 50's is considered to be wholesome and family - even "a real p ssy wagon".
                            Also:

                            "You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning"

                            I am sure they are not talking butter cream! Or ice cream!
                            "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                            • #15
                              ANother lyric from Grease:

                              "You better shape up, cause I need a man,"

                              Oh yeah, blatant sexuality is always so much better than the mere thought that there may be more than one god or even goddesses
                              "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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