Tweet
There's nothing like running massive discount promotions to bring out the idiots.
Discount offer 1 - Connect a mobile phone and receive a freebie worth about $200. Great offer, the customer's come pouring in. Only problem is, the advertising has gone to air, the ads have gone in the paper, etc, and the phone company we do connections for decides that now is a good time to upgrade their system without giving their dealers any notification. Connections now take 2-3 days instead of the normal 10 minutes. We still offer the freebie, but apologise to customers etc that the delays are out of our control. So Mr SC, please don't ring me every 15 minutes asking if your connection has gone through yet. Surely you noticed the dozen other people who were getting connected the same time you were in the shop, well their contracts are all in the same situation, so no it is not bad customer service that I haven't called you back in the 15 minutes since you last called me. And yes, if you went to the phone company direct I'm sure you wouldn't have to wait 24 hours, because they do tend to favour their own stores, but I can guarantee you wouldn't get your $200 freebie either.
Discount offer 2 - half price photo prints. See how every machine has a sign on it saying "Limit 200 prints at half price, any excess will be charged at the normal price". Well that is so we can keep the number of prints we get to a manageable quantity. No, I'm not going to give you a further discount because you want to print 10,000. The answer is still No, because A) the half price offer is below cost already and B) the 50odd other people who are here want to get their prints some time today, not next week because you have single-handedly tied up our photolab's printer. Oh and Mrs SC, lets see, you have just had to wait 10 minutes to get to a print terminal because there are so many other people doing print orders, you have waited in a line for 10 minutes to get to the cashier to take your payment because there are so many other people doing print orders, so why are you genuinely surprised that your 200 prints won't be ready in 5 minutes? No I can't "speed them up" because that would mean putting your order ahead of the other 50 customers ahead of you. How about you tell each of them why your photos are more important than theirs?
Discount offer 3 - one day only, 20% off storewide. No 20% off is cheaper than staff price, i'm not giving you a further discount. No you can't come in next week and get it at the 20% off price, it is TODAY ONLY. No I'm not giving you a 20% refund because you bought 3 weeks ago at the normal price.
And then the piece-de-resistance...
SC: "I bought this at [competitor] yesterday, but your price promise says that if I find it cheaper you'll refund the difference, and you are cheaper today so I want a refund of the difference"
Me: "Sir the price promise only works if you buy the product from us, and one of our competitors advertises it cheaper"
SC: "It shouldn't make any difference"
Me: "Sir, you have bought nothing from us, how can I give you a refund when you haven't even bought off us."
SC: "Thats ####ing false advertising"
Me: "It's not false advertising, it says quite clearly here on the description of the price promise how it works. If you buy something off US, and you see it cheaper at a COMPETITOR"
SC "So you won't give me a refund"
Me "Absolutely not"
SC "I want to see the manager"
Me "Sir, I am the manager"
SC "I want to see your manager"
Me "He is not in today, and even if he was, he would tell you exactly what I have told you"
SC "So you are the highest manager here today"
Me "Yes"
SC "And you won't give me the refund"
Me "No"
SC "This is ####ed, you lot are ripoffs. That's why I always buy from [competitor]. I won't shop here again"
Me: "Glad to hear that sir, goodbye."
Discount offer 1 - Connect a mobile phone and receive a freebie worth about $200. Great offer, the customer's come pouring in. Only problem is, the advertising has gone to air, the ads have gone in the paper, etc, and the phone company we do connections for decides that now is a good time to upgrade their system without giving their dealers any notification. Connections now take 2-3 days instead of the normal 10 minutes. We still offer the freebie, but apologise to customers etc that the delays are out of our control. So Mr SC, please don't ring me every 15 minutes asking if your connection has gone through yet. Surely you noticed the dozen other people who were getting connected the same time you were in the shop, well their contracts are all in the same situation, so no it is not bad customer service that I haven't called you back in the 15 minutes since you last called me. And yes, if you went to the phone company direct I'm sure you wouldn't have to wait 24 hours, because they do tend to favour their own stores, but I can guarantee you wouldn't get your $200 freebie either.
Discount offer 2 - half price photo prints. See how every machine has a sign on it saying "Limit 200 prints at half price, any excess will be charged at the normal price". Well that is so we can keep the number of prints we get to a manageable quantity. No, I'm not going to give you a further discount because you want to print 10,000. The answer is still No, because A) the half price offer is below cost already and B) the 50odd other people who are here want to get their prints some time today, not next week because you have single-handedly tied up our photolab's printer. Oh and Mrs SC, lets see, you have just had to wait 10 minutes to get to a print terminal because there are so many other people doing print orders, you have waited in a line for 10 minutes to get to the cashier to take your payment because there are so many other people doing print orders, so why are you genuinely surprised that your 200 prints won't be ready in 5 minutes? No I can't "speed them up" because that would mean putting your order ahead of the other 50 customers ahead of you. How about you tell each of them why your photos are more important than theirs?
Discount offer 3 - one day only, 20% off storewide. No 20% off is cheaper than staff price, i'm not giving you a further discount. No you can't come in next week and get it at the 20% off price, it is TODAY ONLY. No I'm not giving you a 20% refund because you bought 3 weeks ago at the normal price.
And then the piece-de-resistance...
SC: "I bought this at [competitor] yesterday, but your price promise says that if I find it cheaper you'll refund the difference, and you are cheaper today so I want a refund of the difference"
Me: "Sir the price promise only works if you buy the product from us, and one of our competitors advertises it cheaper"
SC: "It shouldn't make any difference"
Me: "Sir, you have bought nothing from us, how can I give you a refund when you haven't even bought off us."
SC: "Thats ####ing false advertising"
Me: "It's not false advertising, it says quite clearly here on the description of the price promise how it works. If you buy something off US, and you see it cheaper at a COMPETITOR"
SC "So you won't give me a refund"
Me "Absolutely not"
SC "I want to see the manager"
Me "Sir, I am the manager"
SC "I want to see your manager"
Me "He is not in today, and even if he was, he would tell you exactly what I have told you"
SC "So you are the highest manager here today"
Me "Yes"
SC "And you won't give me the refund"
Me "No"
SC "This is ####ed, you lot are ripoffs. That's why I always buy from [competitor]. I won't shop here again"
Me: "Glad to hear that sir, goodbye."
Comment