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  • Root Beer Seppuku

    So it's about 5 minutes after closing (The SCs always stick around after closing...hm), and I'm mopping. In the next aisle over, I hear a crazy (apparently diabetic) lady screaming.

    "I've been shopping here for 8 years and I've already walked out of Kroger tonight, and I am entitled to a diet root beer! Diet! D-I-E-T! That means no sugar!"

    As I rounded the corner and began to mop the next aisle, this lady had her cart parked across the aisle, blocking it off at about halfway, so I mopped as much as I could and waited for her to move.

    Later, the manager was talking to her about ordering some diet root beer for her, and the lady started moaning, "I'm just gonna have to drink the regular, 'cause I've had a hard day, and I'm ready to end it."

    But wait, there's more!

    The lady was so mad about there not being any diet root beer that when she got out to her car, she had a fit and THREW her groceries into her car and sped off, leaving behind a frozen pizza in the parking lot.

    Sounds like she needed this:
    "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

  • #2
    Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
    "I am entitled to a diet root beer!"
    No. No you're not. You're entitled to purchase anything the store has. You're entitled to a refund if something you purchase is defective or damaged. You're entitled to being treated fairly by the employees. If you're an American, you're entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not happiness itself, you spoiled cow, but the pursuit of it.

    So you're entitled to look for diet root beer till the frogs come home, but you are not, in any way, in any shape, entitled to actually getting diet root beer if the store doesn't stock it, doesn't have it, ran out of it, or doesn't sell enough of it to justify them ordering it.

    I love tongue sandwiches. No store down here sells tongue. I am NOT entitled to tongue.

    So please lady, take your entitlement issues and your stupid diet root beer if you can find it, and get the fuck out of the store and Gawdzillers' life!

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Jester View Post
      No. No you're not. You're entitled to purchase anything the store has. You're entitled to a refund if something you purchase is defective or damaged. You're entitled to being treated fairly by the employees. If you're an American, you're entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not happiness itself, you spoiled cow, but the pursuit of it.

      So you're entitled to look for diet root beer till the frogs come home, but you are not, in any way, in any shape, entitled to actually getting diet root beer if the store doesn't stock it, doesn't have it, ran out of it, or doesn't sell enough of it to justify them ordering it.

      I love tongue sandwiches. No store down here sells tongue. I am NOT entitled to tongue.

      So please lady, take your entitlement issues and your stupid diet root beer if you can find it, and get the fuck out of the store and Gawdzillers' life!


      THIS!

      Comment


      • #4
        Jester, that rocks. That seriously rocks.
        Under The Moon Paranormal Research
        San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
          I am entitled to a diet root beer! Diet! D-I-E-T! That means no sugar!"
          Perhaps you have heard of this new sugarless drink called "Water." Chances are that you have a device in your home that dispenses this wonder-liquid. Jackass.
          Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

          http://www.dywhcomic.com

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          • #6
            Quoth Jester View Post
            I am NOT entitled to tongue.
            Snert! Mmmfffff!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Jester View Post
              I am NOT entitled to tongue.
              My wife tells me the same thing.
              Sometimes life is altered.
              Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
              Uneasy with confrontation.
              Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

              Comment


              • #8
                All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

                Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

                *Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*
                Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
                  All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

                  Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

                  *Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*
                  I've never tried their diet root beer, but Jones Soda has good stuff. It's also made with sucralose, woot?

                  As to the root beer fiend, it sounds like she was trying really hard to share her miserable day. No thank you!
                  "You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met in my life!" Will Smith, 'I, Robot'.

                  "You LOSE! Good day, sir!" Gene Wilder, 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Apathy View Post
                    Perhaps you have heard of this new sugarless drink called "Water." Chances are that you have a device in your home that dispenses this wonder-liquid. Jackass.
                    Ah, too bad you couldn't have said that TO her (seeing as how you weren't there). The possibilities....
                    1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                    -----
                    http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
                      All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

                      Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

                      *Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*
                      I'll take the Aspertame. Some of the diet soft drinks now have Splenda in them and I can't stand that - to me it tastes too sweet.

                      So for me, it's either a diet drink or bottled water.

                      And no, I'm not a fan of root beer per say. Give me a Diet Sunkist or Diet Dr. Pepper any day of the week.
                      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                      • #12
                        I love root beer. Always have, always will. I can even tell individual brands of root beer by taste. Barq's is more bitter, while A&W is foamy, even when flat, Mug is sugary, etc.

                        Diet Root Beer tastes like ass 100% of the time, no matter what brand. I refuse to drink it.
                        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                          I love root beer. Always have, always will. I can even tell individual brands of root beer by taste. Barq's is more bitter, while A&W is foamy, even when flat, Mug is sugary, etc.
                          Really? I think Barq's is pretty sweet.
                          "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            till the frogs come home,
                            ... This is my new favorite saying, recently dethroning "land walrus."

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                            • #15
                              Barqs is different in the States than in Canada as far as I know, like Mt. Dew is.
                              "If you find yourself fantasizing about throwing actual users into a blender, please get help... they're heavy." - Tom Dickson

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