OMFG!!! NEED BRAIN BLEACH!!! (Warning: content)

[nomorecarts]

I laughed too, hell's gonna get crowded

[Nyoibo]

along the same lines ... i got bored one day and found out you can buy bull semen on ebay. actually it was quite expensive. $100 a pop.

You can get horse and sheep too.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Nope, I laughed to. We can have a special club in hell.

But... won't you be sitting next to the child molesters and the people who talk in the theater?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My question is, how would you ship something like that?

It's not like you can just stuff it in an envelope. The post office doesn't like bloody envelopes.

[Nyoibo]

That's why they invented zip-lock bags.

[Rapscallion]

Heheh. When I read the first line I expected to read of a hand or foot or something being offered. That? Nah, not so sickening.

Only in Canada.

Rapscallion

[Chromatix]

Semen is understandable - it has a genuine use in farming. It's expensive to hire a good stud, and somewhat cheaper to AI it. It's not something I'd buy on eBay though - you need to know that it's good-quality stuff and safe.

The other stuff... er, NO.

But if we're talking Weird Al... what about Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep?

[Bramblerose]

But if we're talking Weird Al... what about Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep?

Ok, love the song, but definitely not Weird Al. Good novelty record, though.

I love teh bit in The Lord God Made Them All on artificial insemination.

NOt sure why I'd want ahem moyle-leavings. Maybe it will make Savage Love next week.

[ArcticChicken]

Nope, I laughed to. We can have a special club in hell.

Oh goody! Will there be punch?

[Saydrah]

Actually, some high-end facial creams use skin cells harvested from the item in the white text. However, I don't think it would be much use for culturing cells after sitting around and then being shipped in the mail.

[PepperElf]

Actually, some high-end facial creams use skin cells harvested from the item in the white text.

i don't know if i want to be sick with that mental image... or just laugh my butt off

kinda like

heh

[Kaylyn]

Actually, some high-end facial creams use skin cells harvested from the item in the white text.

Ooh, like that side plot in Nip/Tuck, in season 3! Joan Rivers LOVED the stuff! :P

[Darkwish]

Oh man, look at what I started!

Here's a bonus one that doesn't quite fit in it's own post:

I had a listing come through that was offering a Thanksgiving "date" with 2 uh... "workers" of a Nevada brothel. It included a "romantic dinner followed by a dip in the hot tub with a bottle of wine". So I show it to my coworkers for a laugh and the first thing each one of them says is "You going to bid on it?" followed by "at least the system knew which person needed it the most!"

My mother had been emailing me various jokes all morning before I got this one, so I decided to send it to her as well... and what's her reply? "You going to bid on it?"

[depechemodefan]

About the whited out part. First thing I thought of was Jesus. Really. Since Jesus was resurrected, and not molding in a glass coffin, there are not reliquents of any body parts of his. But then some monk or pope got the bright idea that his foreskin must be floating around somewhere, so after getting ahold of a piece of the cross, and the nails, and the thorn crown, and the dirt Jesus thread on, they went after the holy foreskin. I think I've seen a painting of some female saint with the holy foreskin in hand.

Anyway, religion is weird, and I'm pretty sure Mary or Joseph burned the thing, or buried it. I mean, Jesus's foreskin?!? Why not also look for Jesus's hair from His first haircut? His last hair cut?

[Nyoibo]

I mean, Jesus's foreskin?!? Why not also look for Jesus's hair from His first haircut? His last hair cut?

Stop giving them ideas.