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  #21  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:44 AM
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catcul catcul is offline
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Punishment: SC is literally tied to his desk and left there over the weekend.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.


Quote:
Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
Punishment: The SC is forced to watch back to back DVDs of the most unfunny comedy series known to man.
In other words, Saturday Night Live.
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  #22  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:47 AM
wolfie wolfie is offline
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Punishment: On returning to the conveniently-located fire lane where he parked his car (with the family's Christmas presents in the trunk), IT'S NOT THERE. He angrily calls the number on the posted sign for Friendly Neighbourhood Towing, and gets a recorded message that the yard is closed from 5 PM Christmas Eve until 7 AM on the 27th so the staff can enjoy Christmas and Boxing Day. He calls back on the 27th, and they deny having his car - it seems a local gang of car thieves has got the bright idea that people don't pay attention to a tow truck hooking up cars that are obviously illegally parked. Also, his insurance company denies the claim because he waited until 3 days after the theft to report it to them - and it's still a week and a half before the second payment on his new car is due.

Crime: The lot at Krispy Kreme is full, so SC parks next door. Their lot is full too, so he "makes his own space" parking in the left side (viewed when coming in) of the wide driveway. On the peak of the corner on the right side is a telephone pole. Traffic coming from the nearest major highway has to make a right turn in order to get into the lot. The sign on the business says "Arquebus Motor Freight/Billy Bobtail Jimmy Jacknife Professional Truck Driver's Academy". Note: The names have been changed, but this is one I see A LOT.
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  #23  
Old 12-02-2015, 01:36 PM
Chromatix Chromatix is offline
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Location: Helsinki
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Punishment: Arquebus' next contract is moving a vintage tank for a collector. Upon finding the way blocked, the collector simply drives the tank off the trailer and into the yard. With the poor view out of the driver's slit, is it any wonder that he accidentally drives *over* the SC's car?

Crime: SC balks at the cost of a custom-built gaming PC, specified to his demanding requirements. "I can get something ten times better for half the price at Best Buy," he insists. A week later, he comes in with this potato computer, demanding that you "fix it for free" because, in his mind, you "recommended it to him".

Last edited by Chromatix; 12-02-2015 at 01:43 PM.

  #24  
Old 12-02-2015, 04:04 PM
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catcul catcul is offline
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Punishment: Now comes the part where we point and laugh.

Since nobody came up with a punishment, here's the crime again.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.
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  #25  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:41 PM
Chromatix Chromatix is offline
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Punishment: Oblige by stretching one over his head. (They often will stretch that far.) When he complains that you put it on "the wrong head", express puzzlement since that's the only one you can detect him possessing. If he attempts to demonstrate the existence of a second, call the police and report him for indecent exposure.

Crime: SC shows complete ineptitude in the operation of an SCO, and total disinterest in self-improvement in this regard, preferring instead to monopolise the attendant's time and sanity, fully aware that management has no spine whatsoever.

  #26  
Old 12-02-2015, 06:26 PM
wolfie wolfie is offline
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Quote:
Quoth catcul View Post
Since nobody came up with a punishment, here's the crime again.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.
Sorry. From the timestamps it looks like we were composing our answers at the same time, and you submitted yours first, so people took mine as being the last link in the chain.
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  #27  
Old 12-02-2015, 08:42 PM
cindybubbles cindybubbles is offline
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Punishment: Management fires the attendant, but hires SC as her replacement. Now SC has to deal with people like him on a daily basis, with no money whatsoever because his wife has control over all of his accounts.

Crime: SC leaves her naughty kids unattended in a department store on Christmas Eve. Chaos ensues and damages are in the thousands, if not millions, of dollars as the naughty kids go around breaking things. When salespeople and management finally find and confront SC, SC threatens to sue.
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  #28  
Old 12-02-2015, 10:33 PM
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Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
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Punishment: The SC is taken to court for criminal damage and instantly found guilty by the jury, made up of the staff of the department store. She is then stripped of everything she owns in order to pay for the damage.

Crime: After screaming at a sixteen year old cashier and reducing her to tears, the SC attempts to whitewash her behaviour by claiming that she's "having a bad day".
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  #29  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:53 PM
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catcul catcul is offline
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Punishment: Have Aphex scream at her for 9 minutes. Then make her listen to Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" on a loop for an hour.

Crime: Two SC's decide that the dressing room is the perfect place for "sexy time."

Quote:
Quoth wolfie View Post
Sorry. From the timestamps it looks like we were composing our answers at the same time, and you submitted yours first, so people took mine as being the last link in the chain.
"You deserve a spanking." -- Ben Dover, Jr.
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This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

  #30  
Old 12-03-2015, 01:13 AM
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XCashier XCashier is offline
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Punishment: Bucket of ice water dumped over them. Then they have to clean up the entire mess.

Crime: SC decides they don't want their frozen raw seafood, hides the packages in various places around the store.
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