Term Starts today, a new kind of pressure

[hinakiba777]

So as some of you know, I've been bouncing between universities for the past few years. I decided to transfer from University A because of the cost of going to school in Nova Scotia, plus other factors I don't fully recall now. I was doing decently, but not exceptionally before the transfer. Once I transferred to University B everything went down hill. I started suffering academically, I had a ton of personal and financial problems, and it was just an all out horrible experience. After my third and final semester there in Winter 2011 I made the choice to move back to NS and return to University A. Sadly, my GPA just was not up to snuff and I was unable to transfer. So I started looking at University C. Due to my academic issues at University B, University C wanted me to wait 12 months before they would consider my application.

So I applied to start attending University C for Spring 2012, partly because I wanted to get back to school as soon as possible, and partly because I really hated working at Call Center. I was accepted at University C on probation. Not wanting waste this very kind opportunity, and realizing over my year off that I needed to apply myself more, I started classes at University C in May and really worked hard.

There were a lot of struggles with health issues, financial issues, a really douchy councelor, and a lot of self doubt; but I just continued to work as hard as I could. By the end of August I felt fairly positive that I had passed three of my classes, and dismally failed another. I was 100% sure I had failed that course, and knew that I would probably receive notice soon that I was being kicked out of school. Furthermore, even if I was able to maintain the barest GPA to prevent my expulsion, Student Loans had informed me that if I failed another class I would lose funding for a year. I knew I was doomed.

Then last week I got my grades. The class I was sure I failed? I got a B-! I had a B+ in two of my other courses, and an A+ in Psychology.
An A+ in a University course!!!
I didn't even get an A+ when I was in high school! I have never done this well in school. And I have to believe that my past failures were due to a lack of effort and focus on my part. If I just push myself, I know now I can achieve great things!

And I'm not longer on probation! It's awesome!

There is just one problem, kind of. Now that I have proven I can get amazing grades, my parents expect me to maintain them. I currently have a 3.5GPA. When I was in high school my GPA was 2.7. In my university career before now, it was even lower. That is a huge gap. I just don't feel like I can live up to the expectation. I actually have a psych course this semester with the same prof who gave me the A+ this summer. I'm so scared I am going to mess up and disappoint everyone, especially myself.

I'm still not sure by what miracle I got that B- in the class I thought I failed. I suppose I just Aced the final. Still, I can't help feeling like this is the calm before the storm, that everything is just going to go down hill from here. I have Math this semester, and while I was in Advanced Placement for math in high school I barely squeaked by. I'm just so sure I'm going to mess this all up.

Am I just being pessimistic and paranoid? The fact I was able to get into University A originally shows that I'm pretty smart as it is a very hard school to get into. My low GPA in high school was mostly caused by a few bad classes, and my low math grades. There is part of me that is so confident that I can maintain my grades and possibly even improve, but I just can't get past this niggling feeling that I'm just going to mess everything up.

I don't know what to do.

[TheSHAD0W]

If you can't maintain that 3.5, your parents will be disappointed. Not upset, not angry, merely disappointed. It's worth striving for, but should you fail, you should also be merely disappointed, not upset or angry.

[Kheldarson]

As long as you know you did everything you could to maintain that GPA, then you have nothing to be upset about if it drops. Maybe you'll maintain it, maybe you'll improve, maybe it'll drop, but if you're doing your best work, then no issue.

Just make the most of this new opportunity!

[Kristev]

Do your best and keep working hard. Graduation is the goal.

[Chanlin]

I'm going to echo the same advice I have given you in the past

I know its old hat, but I keep repeating it for a reason.

You have nothing to worry about, because you know you can do it. That is all you need to think about. Worrying about screwing up is normal. Its when you let that pressure and self doubt take over that it will begin to actually happen. So, when you feel that pressure mount you say "F*** this, I know I can do it."

[PhiSigGirl1988]

I know how you feel. I have a degree in biology from an excellent school, but my GPA definitely was not great. I really screwed myself over in trying to apply for grad schools or anything like that. I've now decided that I'm going to try for an accelerated BSN program, so I'm working on the rest of my prereqs at a different university than the one I graduated from. My first semester was this past summer. 3 A's and a B (in anatomy and phys...that class was a bitch, as was my professor). It's a great feeling knowing that you can accomplish that. As Chanlin said, just remember that you CAN do this. It won't be easy, but as long as you're willing to work hard, you can do well. Even if you don't do as awesome as last semester, as long as you put in as much effort as you can, you should still be proud of yourself. However, since you are smart, I think you'll do just as well, if not better, if you keep applying yourself. Just believe in yourself.