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  • Gratuitous Violence and the change of ownership for all your places of operations...

    I was going to say something else for the introduction, but after I read this post I realized it is full of death, violence, and destruction. I'm sure there's some kind of underlying meaning to this, but I'm not sure what it is. Stay tuned to your evening news, that's all I'll say

    SW: Sucky Woman
    SM: Sucky Man
    DLR: Dealer
    ME: All work and no play make Kara something something

    Of course not. That would be stupid

    SM: I have this high bill and this is ridiculous because I put so much money in this phone and it don't make any money for me and this is a lot of money and I keep putting money in da phone but it don't give me no money so it is ridiculous.

    So..... You've finally realized your phone is neither an ATM nor a piggy bank. What the hell do you want from me?

    Grr....

    SW: It's nice and warm here, a beautiful day.
    ME: That's good. It's muggy like you wouldn't believe here.
    SW: Where are you?
    ME: I'm in Kansas.
    SW: Oh, well, is Dorothy there with you? Hyuk, yuk, yuk.

    Okay, the first one is free. Persist and you die.

    *Several minutes later*

    ME: Okay, you're all set. Have a great day, and thanks for choosing (COMPANY).
    SW: You have a good evening. And don't go with the Tin Man, he rusts!

    I warned you.

    Random acts of Murder

    SM: Hold on, I need to axe my mom.

    WHOA! Easy there, turbo. Let's think this over. I mean, you gotta do what the voices tell you, I get that. But leave me out of it.

    Do I sound like I'm laughing?

    ME: Can I just have the customer's mobile phone number?
    DLR: No.
    ME: ...
    DLR: Just kidding.
    ME: ...
    DLR: Hahaha.
    ME: ...
    DLR: Hello?

    Yeah, I'm still here. I'm just looking up your store address so I know where to call in the air strike.

    Don't drop the soap

    SM: Hold on, hold on. I'm not getting any contract. I did my time already.

    So if I don't give you a free phone with no contract, you'll go to one of my competitors and get a contract with them. Whatever, dude.

    The Negotiator

    SM: Look, I want the phone for free. Now, I'm very open, I'd settle for $5 off my bill every month for the next 2 years. That would be fine.

    Oh would it? Anything else on your wishlist? How about I just pay your bill out of my own pocket every month? How about I pop out of a cake on your birthday and hand you the phone on a velvet pillow? I'll bring our vice president of customer satisfaction with me, Ms Flamey, and let you two get intimate.

    Not a recommended use for your phone

    SW: I need a new phone, very badly. The old one doesn't do what I need it to do.
    ME: I'm truly sorry to hear that. What's the problem with the phone?
    SW: It doesn't vibrate.
    ME: That's unfortunate. Does it show a call is coming in, does it play the ringtone if you have the sound on?
    SW: Yes, everything else works fine, but it doesn't vibrate anymore.
    ME: Well, I'd be happy to go over some troubleshooting with you, see if we can get it working again.
    SW: I hope so. I need it to vibrate again.

    Uh, I'm not going to ask any questions, but I'm fairly certain you've voided your warranty. You know, there are, uh, other products, on the market that are more... specifically designed to, uh, do what it is that you require.

    King Ralph

    SW: I just got an email from your President himself, Ralph.

    Actually, I see you got an email from our online support, by a guy named Ralph. We call him our "Executive Consumer Relations" department, but all he does is handle written correspondence via email. You really think the head of a multi-billion dollar organization would be named Ralph?

    Actually, it's Bob.

    Finally (some people will probably hate me for this, but I just can't resist):

    For Good Justice!

    ME: Your phone is still under warranty, and we can exchange it for you at no cost.
    SW: Why would I want the same phone if it's not having good justice?

    All your phone are belong to us!

    Last edited by Kara; 06-13-2007, 04:16 PM.
    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

  • #2
    You really think the head of a multi-billion dollar organization would be named Ralph?
    I can think of one.


    Also, I can't read yours or Gravekeeper's post without thinking of how Amp'd Mobile has to file for bankruptcy because something like 40% of their customers don't pay the bill.
    "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

    Comment


    • #3
      Lol, all my phones have to have good justice.

      And Ampd mobile is targeting a demographic that would rather spend their money on clothes to cover their booties and chrome spinners for their pimp-mobiles. Ok, maybe not all of them are like that... but that's what I think of when I see their commercials.
      Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
      Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
      The Office

      Comment


      • #4
        SW: It's nice and warm here, a beautiful day.
        ME: That's good. It's muggy like you wouldn't believe here.
        SW: Where are you?
        ME: I'm in Kansas.
        SW: Oh, well, is Dorothy there with you? Hyuk, yuk, yuk.
        There are few things in the world I despise more then the person who is convinced beyond all reason that they're funny. They're also usually convinced that comedy is their calling and try to crack an awful joke with almost every sentence.

        Whether its callers or coworkers. I loath them so.



        and yes, thats the impression I get from Amp'd mobile commercials too. >< Buy our phone! ITS BLING BLING BABY.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Kara_CS View Post

          For Good Justice!

          ME: Your phone is still under warranty, and we can exchange it for you at no cost.
          SW: Why would I want the same phone if it's not having good justice?

          All your phone are belong to us!
          It's a bird! It's a plane! It's an SC being catapulted off a roof by Kara
          How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

          Comment


          • #6
            Whenever someone tries to be "funny" with me, my standard, canned response is...

            100,000 comedians out of work and you are trying to be funny?

            They usually laugh a little and then cut it out.

            Comment


            • #7
              I can't help myself

              Quoth Kara_CS View Post
              All work and no play make Kara something something
              ...Go crazy?

              Comment


              • #8
                Kara would you like a nice big broad sword to carry around with you, and a t-shirts that says 'I hate funny men'?

                Comment


                • #9
                  This is totally off topic, but where do I sign up to join the Mad Scientist's Union?

                  Seriously. I want that.
                  ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                  Chickens are Asexual!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Uh, I'm not going to ask any questions, but I'm fairly certain you've voided your warranty. You know, there are, uh, other products, on the market that are more... specifically designed to, uh, do what it is that you require.
                    I would've loved to hear someone say that over the phone!
                    Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Kara_CS View Post

                      Not a recommended use for your phone

                      SW: I need a new phone, very badly. The old one doesn't do what I need it to do.
                      ME: I'm truly sorry to hear that. What's the problem with the phone?
                      SW: It doesn't vibrate.
                      ME: That's unfortunate. Does it show a call is coming in, does it play the ringtone if you have the sound on?
                      SW: Yes, everything else works fine, but it doesn't vibrate anymore.
                      ME: Well, I'd be happy to go over some troubleshooting with you, see if we can get it working again.
                      SW: I hope so. I need it to vibrate again.

                      Uh, I'm not going to ask any questions, but I'm fairly certain you've voided your warranty. You know, there are, uh, other products, on the market that are more... specifically designed to, uh, do what it is that you require.
                      I only hope she didn't volunteer to send any pics or video footage. . . .
                      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                        SM: Hold on, I need to axe my mom.

                        WHOA! Easy there, turbo. Let's think this over. I mean, you gotta do what the voices tell you, I get that. But leave me out of it.
                        Especially since the stuff has Bom Chicka Wah-Wah in it...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth CancelMyService View Post
                          I can think of one.

                          I didn't even have to click to know who you were linking to...
                          I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                            ME: I'm in Kansas.
                            SW: Oh, well, is Dorothy there with you? Hyuk, yuk, yuk........

                            SW: You have a good evening. And don't go with the Tin Man, he rusts!
                            I'll get you my pretty!!
                            AND
                            your little DOG TOO!!


                            **Ducks**

                            Mike
                            Meow.........

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth InverseHellion View Post
                              ...Go crazy?
                              Don't mind if I do
                              "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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