I promised this when I joined, then got distracted. It's not actually all that much, but at least I no longer owe my boss for this.
So, I work four nights a week at the hotel. I asked for the time off for a particular night (staff at a college function that would last until at least five in the morning) well in advance, but apparently they didn't pay attention, 'cause my boss had to take the night instead of getting the other night-shift guy to do it. I called around four or five to confirm that I would not be coming in in the morning, as they had sprung on me last-minute, and had the following conversation with Bossman:
me: So just wanted to let you know about that.
Boss: Okay.
Me: Okay.
Boss: So how'd your night go?
Me: What? Oh! Oh, it was great.
Boss: Great.
Me: Yeah.
Boss: Ask me how MY night went.
Me: ...How'd your night go, Bossman?
Boss: I'm SO glad you asked. My night fucking sucked.
Me: Why did your night suck, Bossman?
Boss: So these two gay guys come in, drunk. (aside: there's a gay bar two blocks away. Nice folk, sometimes they stash their entertainers here for the night. Also aside: My boss is an attractive man in what I would guess to be his mid to late twenties.)
Me: Huh boy.
Boss: They ask how much the rooms are, then ask where there are other bars in the area. They try to get me to go out drinking with them. No way in hell, but I'm just saying how I can't leave the desk, and all that. I eventually ask if I can call them a cab, and they say yeah. I tell them they've got to wait outside for it, and it'll be about twenty minutes. So I finally get them outside.
Me: Well that's good.
Boss: Yeah. After fifteen or twenty minutes, I look through the doors to see if they're gone yet. I can't see them, but I hadn't seen the cab, so I go on and stick my head outside. And I see them on the grass, by the road, right under our sign, you know?
Me: Oh, yeah, I can figure out where. (starting to grin very broadly, at this point)
Boss: And the one guy's got his head in the other's lap. And they were... They... Minima, they were having SEX there, right by the road!
Me: Oh, God.
Boss: I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT. So I call the cops and they eventually come by. I look out a little later, and they were at it again? Minima!
Me: Oh, God, I'm so sorry you had to see that.
Boss: YOU. OWE. ME. You owe me bigtime, man.
I soothed him some more (He's not too big on alternate lifestyles, poor guy) and redeemed the favor when I didn't sic a particularly heinous entitlement whore on him, a couple weeks later.
So. Lawn sex. Now you know.
So, I work four nights a week at the hotel. I asked for the time off for a particular night (staff at a college function that would last until at least five in the morning) well in advance, but apparently they didn't pay attention, 'cause my boss had to take the night instead of getting the other night-shift guy to do it. I called around four or five to confirm that I would not be coming in in the morning, as they had sprung on me last-minute, and had the following conversation with Bossman:
me: So just wanted to let you know about that.
Boss: Okay.
Me: Okay.
Boss: So how'd your night go?
Me: What? Oh! Oh, it was great.
Boss: Great.
Me: Yeah.
Boss: Ask me how MY night went.
Me: ...How'd your night go, Bossman?
Boss: I'm SO glad you asked. My night fucking sucked.
Me: Why did your night suck, Bossman?
Boss: So these two gay guys come in, drunk. (aside: there's a gay bar two blocks away. Nice folk, sometimes they stash their entertainers here for the night. Also aside: My boss is an attractive man in what I would guess to be his mid to late twenties.)
Me: Huh boy.
Boss: They ask how much the rooms are, then ask where there are other bars in the area. They try to get me to go out drinking with them. No way in hell, but I'm just saying how I can't leave the desk, and all that. I eventually ask if I can call them a cab, and they say yeah. I tell them they've got to wait outside for it, and it'll be about twenty minutes. So I finally get them outside.
Me: Well that's good.
Boss: Yeah. After fifteen or twenty minutes, I look through the doors to see if they're gone yet. I can't see them, but I hadn't seen the cab, so I go on and stick my head outside. And I see them on the grass, by the road, right under our sign, you know?
Me: Oh, yeah, I can figure out where. (starting to grin very broadly, at this point)
Boss: And the one guy's got his head in the other's lap. And they were... They... Minima, they were having SEX there, right by the road!
Me: Oh, God.
Boss: I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT. So I call the cops and they eventually come by. I look out a little later, and they were at it again? Minima!
Me: Oh, God, I'm so sorry you had to see that.
Boss: YOU. OWE. ME. You owe me bigtime, man.
I soothed him some more (He's not too big on alternate lifestyles, poor guy) and redeemed the favor when I didn't sic a particularly heinous entitlement whore on him, a couple weeks later.
So. Lawn sex. Now you know.
Comment