Work: The Saga

[Antisocial_Worker]

The object here is to string together the weirdest happenings we all witness while on the job, and see just how far down the rabbit hole we end up. Try to tack them together so that it more or less flows. I had the idea to do this after what I saw last night...

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Last night, a 48-year-old virgin sat in my lobby and talked for more than three hours with, alternately, the security guard and a tattooed dwarf who rides bulls for a living. Whenever the security guard needed to escape, he would come to the desk and we'd both just sort of marvel and reconfirm that, yes, this was actually happening. Meanwhile, the redneck princesses strolled at intervals through the lobby. When the security guard noted that some of them were actually kind of cute, I'd had enough and snapped, "I don't care how who looks what! It's two in the morning! They should be in bed and leaving me alone!"

[AccountingDrone]

The morning manager of a breakfast/ice cream place powerwashing a spilled 5 gallon bucket of fry grease into the storm sewer system bright and early on a Sunday morning, requiring the call out of the DoEnvironment, the grease hauler and a complete hazmat cleanup crew, the costs of the hazmat crew, a serious bunch of fines and the loss of his job because he couldn't wait half an hour for me to call him back to let him know how long it would take for the grease hauler's driver to get there and clean up a spill they did not do [the kitchen monkeys dropped the bucket on the way out to dump it.]

[Cooper]

Twenty very hyper foreign people walk into a bar the marina. They want two pontoons (as we hadn't a single pontoon that could fit all of them) and a jetskii. It's a half hour before closing, so I agree to stay open a half hour so they can have a full hour on the jetskii.

Three of them tried to sign the paperwork, one sat and prayed at the edge of the building, and one asked me where the brakes were on the boat. 0_0

I then proceeded to watch them find every combination of nearly running into one-another.

After they got drunk they began singing in whatever language their native one was, very loudly, after dark.

[April]

Some lady climbed a tree next to the facility (Halfway house/correctional facility) started throwing spray paint cans over the fence yelling at the clients to "build my house"

she ran off, only to come back later, climb the tree, jump the fence and then pull the fire alarm while telling the client's "someone is going to have a shitty night" as she ran off the property.

THEN when police got there, she was found standing next to the fence (outside the property) talking on her cell phone, laughing at her "great joke".

she was arrested

[Jay 2K Winger]

Some lady climbed a tree next to the facility (Halfway house/correctional facility) started throwing spray paint cans over the fence yelling at the clients to "build my house"

she ran off, only to come back later, climb the tree, jump the fence and then pull the fire alarm while telling the client's "someone is going to have a shitty night" as she ran off the property.

THEN when police got there, she was found standing next to the fence (outside the property) talking on her cell phone, laughing at her "great joke".

she was arrested

Karma would have her serve her sentence at your facility.