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Twitch vs. The Material Witness

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  • Twitch vs. The Material Witness

    Look out Rednecks, because Twitch is on the prowl again!

    This time, he was after a Chevrolet Suburban, and because the Gods of Fortune (tm) can't be pissed at you ALL of the time, it was right where the repo order said it would be the first time he checked on it.

    So he goes in for the load.

    About halfway through, a rather peeved lady comes out on the porch and asks him "Can I help you?"

    "Nope" says Twitch, "I got this"

    "Well, why are you taking it? I made a payment!" she says. Twitch holds up his paperwork

    "Repo order says take it, so I don't know what to tell you, call your bank"

    By now, he's hoping to keep her talking long enough so that he can finish loading and start pulling out before she says the magic words "put it down" and he has to legally abandon the attempt.

    "Well, I have stuff in there, can I get it?" she asks

    "Sure, if you give me the keys"

    "I ain't givin' you no f*cking keys to my car!" she declares

    Twitch senses, based on the woman's current attire of holed-up sweatpants and dirty t shirt, apparently ordered from the spring 2014 catalog's "Deadbeat Skank" collection, that since none of her garments have pockets, she probably doesn't have the vehicle's keys on her at the moment.... and gets a brilliant idea.

    He pulls open the door, hits the "lock" button, and then cheerfully slams it shut.

    The, ahem, "lady" gives him a dirty look and quickly turns to run back inside, probably for the keys.

    Twitch uses this opportunity to quick pull out into the street. Now the law says it's ours, and he quickly speed-dials the police and reports it so they don't get a call about a stolen SUV.

    Now the lady returns, with the keys...

    "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

    "Mine now" says Twitch, "Can I have the keys too?"

    Lady gives the atomic F-bomb salute to Twitch, he smiles and drives off.

    A couple blocks later, his phone starts ringing.

    It's the police.

    No, not Sting, the cops he just reported the repo to.

    "You're the gentleman who just did a repo on a 04' Chevy Suburban at *address*?"

    "Yes Sir"

    "And just to confirm, the debtor's name was *lady's name*?"

    "Yep"

    There is a large, audible, sigh...

    "I don't suppose there's anyway you can take that back, is there?'

    "Nope, mine"

    "Well, my Sargent is pretty pissed right now, see, he needs that lady in court tomorrow as a witness, and, now she doesn't have any way to get there since you took her car."

    "Call her a cab, it's not my problem, she should have made her payments" Twitch says.

    "Yeah, I know, legally I can't make you take it back, I was just wondering if you could cut us a break"

    "Sorry, I got to eat, I don't bring this back, I don't get paid my commission"

    "Figured as much" says the cop and hangs up.



    Sorry guys, but maybe if she hadn't spent all her money bailing out her boyfriend (from the sound of it anyway) she could have avoided the repo man for at least until the trial of all his buddies was over....

    Again, I don't know if that's exactly what happened, but given the circumstantial evidence, and that little voice of experience in the back of my head, that's sure what it SOUNDED like was happening before we complicated things a bit.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Every time you add to the legend of Twitch, he becomes more awesome.

    Twitch is like a freakin' honey badger. He don't care. He's gonna get what he's gotta get!
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      Quoth Argabarga View Post
      He pulls open the door, hits the "lock" button, and then cheerfully slams it shut.
      I love your tales about Twitch, but this bit is particularly genius.
      "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
      -Mira Furlan

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      • #4
        So in Pennsylvania, if you get repo'd in your drive, catch the repo man and tell him to drop the car he legally has to?

        That makes no sense. Once you have papers, doesn't it become property of the bank again?
        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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        • #5
          What matters is if we have custody of it, and it isn't considered in our custody until it leaves the driveway.

          That's how the "breech of peace" law is written in this state

          Basically, the Commonwealth has decided that since they're giving the repo man immunity from theft or trespass, in return, they expect him/her to not get into fights with people, so, if you are confronted while trying to repossess, it's YOUR duty to put it down and back away.

          Seems like a fair trade off, besides, you're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense, the repo man gets paid to chase you.
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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          • #6
            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you.
            Can I use this in my signature? I like it.
            You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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            • #7
              Yeesh, couldn't the cops take her in their vehicle if she's such an important witness?!
              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

              Now queen of USSR-Land...

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              • #8
                Won't this incident reduce her cred on the stand?
                I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                Who is John Galt?
                -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                • #9
                  Quoth fireheart View Post
                  Yeesh, couldn't the cops take her in their vehicle if she's such an important witness?!
                  I agree, if she's that important the cops can give her a ride. OTOH that's a big inconvenience for them and no doubt Twitch is going to get hassled by the cops about this...

                  Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                  Won't this incident reduce her cred on the stand?
                  I think it just might...

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                  • #10
                    Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                    Won't this incident reduce her cred on the stand?
                    Only if it is a financial case. If it's drugs, or assault, DV, anything like that, not likely.
                    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Kittish View Post
                      Can I use this in my signature? I like it.
                      Be my guest
                      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                      • #12
                        I freely admit, I squee now every time I see a post popping up about Twitch. Lol

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                        • #13
                          Quoth HiddenMica View Post
                          I freely admit, I squee now every time I see a post popping up about Twitch. Lol
                          Twitch has a fan girl. Or fan girls.....
                          I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

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                          • #14
                            He's the hero of repo
                            The man they call Twitch!
                            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Heck if she'd started enough of a scene,she could have got the cops to come and collect her in their vehicle with the nice flashy lights and they'd have her exactly in position to be taken anywhere she needs to as a witness.
                              Even take her straight to the cells there-I'm sure they wouldn't mind her popping into the court on her way through...
                              The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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