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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • Not allowed to stick my tongue out and go "blehhh, argh, yuk" if a spider or other bug gets on me while I'm with a customer.
    Not allowed to be anything less than frighteningly perky while customers are around.
    Not allowed to say "damn" while customers are around.
    Not allowed to make up codes for types of annoying customers to put in appointment diaries or queries books.
    Is it Asshole Day or what? - MoonCat
    It's ALWAYS Asshole Day. - Jay2KWinger

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    • See this is what happens when you feed Fluttershy too much sugar.
      You get Frighteningly Perky Girl....
      The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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      • Quoth fireheart View Post
        -Not allowed to replace my lanyard with a rainbow lanyard.
        Just to be fair, I've seen some pretty bad stuff happen with lanyards that weren't regulated. I can understand that part. The rest...well, read my name
        Last edited by MadMike; 05-15-2016, 04:34 PM. Reason: Excessive quoting

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        • I am not allowed to wear a name tag that says 'the other short, dark haired cook."
          Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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          • I am not allowed to play Pokemon Go.

            Not that I was going to but apparently, management felt the need to tell us this. And they're probably right to do so.

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            • We've had messages coming across the terminal all day telling us "it's a no-no-no to play pokemon go while driving!" The highway department has also a similar message on the electronic signs.
              Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
              OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
              she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
              Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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              • I'm gonna have to put signs up about it at my work I think. It was only release here today, and it appears that Niantic didn't get the memo that you just can't walk along railway tracks in this country, especially not ones with services using them every 5 minutes...
                This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                • When a yummy looking regular customer checks his phone and says "Fuck!!!!", I'm not supposed to look at him and say, "Right now?".

                  Even if he was amused.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • I'm not allowed to find the "Do you have a passion for produce?" recruiting sign in the office hilariously inappropriate.
                    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                    • When transferring data from a user's old laptop to a new laptop, I'm not allowed to make the comment, "This thing has been passed around more often than a cheap hooker," no matter how many user profiles it has.

                      Quoth Food Lady View Post
                      I'm not allowed to find the "Do you have a passion for produce?" recruiting sign in the office hilariously inappropriate.
                      At least it didn't say, "Do you have a passion to produce?"
                      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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                      • Do you have a passion for produce?

                        Oh yes I'm extremely fond of the cucumbers....
                        The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                        • Even though it gets stock out of the warehouse, tempting the laws of gravity and physics with a panettone tower isn't a good idea when the store is actually open as customers will always shop from the bottom layer of the pile.
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • To change the price of the petrol to £500 a litre on Christmas Eve to try and put off customers from coming in.
                            People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                            My DeviantArt.

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                            • Nor can I create a spaghetti Jenga tower....but how else was I supposed to follow the instructions to fit four cases' worth of spaghetti (that was already spread out on the shelf) into a 10-inch footprint with no backstock?
                              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                              • Play Pokemon Go on the clock. But I do anyway. I even purchased a Pokemon Go Plus gadget that makes playing at work so much easier and more effective.

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