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2 year olds and knives don't mix...

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  • #16
    I'm one to talk...at 6 years old (just tall enough to reach to stove but not see on top of it), I remember asking my mom if the burner was still hot (don't ask why I was a STRANGE child ), before mom could even turn around fully I had placed my entire hand on the burner...it had JUST been turned off and while not red hot (eletric coil stove) was still VERY hot...Mom thankfully kept her head and made me sleep with my hand in an ice bath and to this day 20 years later you'll never see a burn mark on that hand either. ^_^ YAY for my mommy!!!!
    It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

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    • #17
      Quoth JoitheArtist View Post
      Coworker (CW): Hello, N-------."
      Customer (NN): Hello! How are you guys?
      :
      Am I the only one that thought your Coworker was whipping out the ghetto slang?
      "Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!"

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      • #18
        Quoth Danjo View Post
        Am I the only one that thought your Coworker was whipping out the ghetto slang?
        Yeah, I had that moment, then said "nah."
        Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

        Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

        I wish porn had subtitles.

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        • #19
          Quoth Sarlon View Post
          I'm one to talk...at 6 years old (just tall enough to reach to stove but not see on top of it), I remember asking my mom if the burner was still hot (don't ask why I was a STRANGE child ), before mom could even turn around fully I had placed my entire hand on the burner...it had JUST been turned off and while not red hot (eletric coil stove) was still VERY hot...Mom thankfully kept her head and made me sleep with my hand in an ice bath and to this day 20 years later you'll never see a burn mark on that hand either. ^_^ YAY for my mommy!!!!
          OMG, I did the same exact thing!

          My mom put vanilla extract on my hand to lessen the swelling and said "Next time you'll listen to me won't you?" Honest to Dog, I never touched another hot thing in my life (unless you count SO).
          Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

          Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

          Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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          • #20
            Quoth Pixagi View Post
            At two I'd pick up a knife, touch the blade just enough to know it's sharp, then put it back down.
            Back when I was in school, I used scalpels in art work I did. One time I went to visit some country cousins on a farm. They raised pigs and would castrate the piglets using their pocket knives, which they tested for sharpness by touching their thumb on the edge. The piglets would squeal at this event.

            I suggested they use scalpels instead, and gave them one I had with me. My cousin wondered if it was any sharper than his own well honed knife, and touched his thumb to the edge before I could stop him. He said that it didn't feel very sharp just before blood started gushing out of his thumb. Afterwards, with the scalpels, the piglets didn't squeal very much.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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            • #21
              Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
              "Now Timmy, put the uzzi back where you found it. Remember what happened the last time and we won't get another dog if it happens again."
              ROTFL!

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              • #22
                At 2 I was changing my baby sister's diapers and washing dishes, sounds like her 2yr old is just having fun like I did. =p

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                • #23
                  I have to join the not-overly-concerned crowd. I wasn't allowed to have scissors from approximately pre-school up until kindergarten/first grade, because I'd cut my own hair, every time. Even if they were those stupid plastic scissors you can barely saw through paper with, I'd hack off a chunk of my hair.

                  My first parent-teacher conference in kindergarten involved the conversation:
                  Teacher: "Well, she's very bright and reads way ahead of normal level, but she's not too good with scissors..."
                  My Mom: "That's because she's not allowed to have them."

                  I also was constantly hurting myself, climbing on things, etc, etc. And I still turned out mostly alright.
                  "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                  “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Slytovhand View Post
                    "No Timmy, we're going to use the barbeque tonight. You can put the napalm grenades back where you found them. But you can get me the kerosene".
                    "Now Timmy, we don't use gunpowder to cook hamburgers. Please put it back where you got it from.

                    We don't use gasoline either. Put that back.

                    And give me back the machete. I told you you're not allowed to play 'Smurf War Tribunal' anymore. Remember what happened to your friend David last time? That's why he only has one arm now."
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                    • #25
                      Hmm - if the OP is correct she didn't mention a knife. Carve might mean anything making an indented (and therefore uncleanable) mark on the table. You could probably score into soft or finished wood with a normal pen, plastic scissors etc.

                      I'd hope that's what she meant.

                      I do remember being terrified to see my sister aged about 3 playing with a huge sharp kitchen knife. She was with my father and I in his tiny kitchen, she was sitting on the counter right between us while we were cooking. Both of us were sure the other one was watching

                      Victoria J

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                      • #26
                        I stabbed my mom when I was 2

                        at least that's what I've been told

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                        • #27
                          Quoth AKWalMartCartGuy View Post
                          I stabbed my mom when I was 2
                          When I was about 6 I kicked my mom in the head while she was driving.
                          "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                          “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Victoria J View Post
                            Hmm - if the OP is correct she didn't mention a knife. Carve might mean anything making an indented (and therefore uncleanable) mark on the table. You could probably score into soft or finished wood with a normal pen, plastic scissors etc.

                            I'd hope that's what she meant.
                            That's a very good point, I hadn't thought of that. My sister used to scratch up all of our walls (painted drywall) with sticks from outside. So yeah, very possible.

                            Of course, she's also the one who wrote MMMMM - basically a jagged line - all over the wall and then blamed it on me. Whose initial is NOT M, thankyouverymuch.
                            "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

                            "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

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                            • #29
                              Oh, dear.
                              This message brought to you by a hopeless pop-culture-obsessed social reject.

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