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  • Sucky Pervy Customer

    Just so you know, this is a novel of epic length. My apologies.

    So, okay. Last week, Thursday moring, I was working by myself. This hispanic-ish guy comes in to pick up his catalog order. Okay, no problem. But as I'm going through the whole routine, he's like... watching me. Not just 'looking', or 'staring straight through' like most other customers. He's watching me with this really unsettling smile. So I go into the back and pick up his order, bring it out to him, print out the receipt, hand it to him with a pen to sign. And he comments that I have small hands, " *holds up own hand* Like me!" Mm hmm. Sure. Well, here's your order, have a nice day.

    That in itself would have been creepy, but not.... scary.

    He comes in later the same day to return the order he just picked up, because the stupid catalog center sent the wrong color. Okay, whatever. But then he starts asking me all these personal questions, like how old I am, and if I'm in school or not. Okay.... blink.gif Now, I'm completely caught off guard by these questions, so, quite stupidly, I actually told him the truth. (Idiot). At least it was only "I'm 18" and "No, I'm not in school". But he just wouldn't quit watching me! It's like, OMG you creep blink.gif. Anyway. He reorders another pair of jeans in the right color.

    At that point, it was just a few minutes before I was scheduled to leave, but I took off anyway and let one of my coworkers deal with him. My shoes had been KILLING me all day, so the first thing I did was head over to the shoes department and grab a pair of flip flops (got 'em for 84 cents happy.gif). But as I'm sitting on the little ledge and trying on these shoes (I'm behind a big post), I see him walk past. He didn't see me, thank Mand'alor, but it was still freaky. My ride wasn't going to come for another three hours, so I was totally on edge the whole time I was walking around the mall because I was freaked out that he was going to bump into me and follow me or something. I saw him heading for the shoes department afterwards, but luckily didn't see him at all anymore after that.

    OH! When I left my coworker to deal with him, she called a manager under the pretense that she could help him find the proper color for his jeans, but she really wanted a manager to see the guy that was making me that uncomfortable. Way to go, coworker happy.gif

    Well, when I picked up his package earlier that morning, it had his name on it, so I knew his name. I went home and hunted to see if he was a sex offender in my state, because he was that creepy. I mean, I look like I'm about 12 years old, so what, is he into hitting on minors or something? Nothing came up, though.

    Luckily I had the next seven days off, so I didn't have to think about work at all. But I still wasn't looking forward to working today, 'cause I was still kinda freaked out over the whole thing.

    So, like.... a half hour after I get into work today? Yeah. Guess who. Apparently he had been there that morning to pick up his order, and the jeans were the right color, but when he got home, he realised they were sorta shredded on the bottom. Ethel, another coworker, said that's just how they came. Jeans, especially lighter color ones, come pre-beat-up. The guy said that he'd never seen them like that. He went off to find a pair of jeans in the store and showed us that the same brand, same color, wasn't beat up at the bottom. Okay, you win. So I do another return and reorder for him. Needless to say, I've got a knot in my stomach and totally just want him to go home.

    OKAY! As I'm doing this catalog order, he asks my name. Idiot BoxGirl, I told him again >.< First name only, no last name, but still. I hate that that creep knows my name. THEN. THEN THEN THEN. He wants to know if I have a boyfriend!!!! SERIOUSLY. He's all like "Do you have a boyfriend?" I mean in no uncertain terms! Not like, "Aw, I bet the guys are all over you, right?" or "That's a pretty necklace. Gift from your boyfriend?" Just outright, blatant, "Do you have a boyfriend?" In retrospect, the smart answer would have been "I'm a lesbian" or "I'm married" or "I used to be a man" or something like that, but no. All I can say is "No, I don't." And he pauses for just a second and is like "You don't mind my asking, do you?" ... Thinking: "YES!!!" Says: "<kinda rolling eyes and mumbled> That's fine." You know, not like "Oh, no! I don't mind you asking!" but one of those "Can I just do my job?" type answers.

    AND! Then at the end of the transaction, I gave him his reciept, happy that he was going home again. But of course, he can't just leave with that. Know what he says then? "Would you mind if I called you sometime?"

    HE ACTUALLY FREAKING SAID THAT!!!!

    Well, thankfully, my truthfullness came in handy for once. "I would."

    And that's all I said to him, and he left, but he was still watching and grinning. I mean, OMG!

    So, I'm telling Ethel all this, 'cause she was helping a customer and didn't hear any of this. And know what she does? She laughs. She thinks it's hilarious. I'm considering running for the box cutter next time I see this guy, and she LAUGHS. So Ethel was completely no help.

    And I'm scheduled to work next Thursday morning. His order comes in Wednesday night, which means he'll probably come in the next morning like he has for the last couple orders. So I'm gonna have to deal with him again! And I'm working by myself until like, 11 or 12. What if he comes then? *sigh* At least my supervisor will be there, but he's working as manager of the day, so he'll be all over the store and not just working back with me. I'll have to give him a warning and let him know that I might need backup.

    *shiver* I might need to ask for Thursday morning off.

    Where can one buy pepper spray?

  • #2
    Quoth BoxGirl View Post
    "Would you mind if I called you sometime?"
    "Company policy prohibits us from dating current or FORMER clients/ customers."
    You don't know what Hades is until you've worked at least one Christmas Season in a toy store that offers free gift wrapping.

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    • #3
      If I were you I would tell your manager about this guy and explain how uncomfortable he makes you. If you have a cool manager ge may find someone to hang around with you just in case this guy comes back, but if he doesn't suggest it you definitely should.

      The last thing you need is this guy following you home or getting you flustered enough that you'll answer a question you really shouldn't.

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      • #4
        Yeah, my manager will be there next Thursday morning when the guy will probably come in again. I'll let him know. He's tall and scary and can be my bodyguard.

        The problem is that we're short staffed, and we don't get all that many customers back in catalog anyway, so there usually isn't more than one person working. And with the economy, the company can't afford to have two people working back there at the same time. Kinda sucks.

        But yeah. Ethel did tell me that if I'm working by myself and the guy comes in again, I can go into the back room, call security, and ask them to keep an eye on the guy. Not like they could really stop his creepy advances, but it would make me feel better knowing there was someone watching.

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        • #5
          Sucky pervy customer, yesm but don't let yourself get intimidated so easily! These creeps feed off how easy it is to scare younger women.
          My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

          Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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          • #6
            They do. He always seemed to ask more and more personal questions the more nervous I got, and that in turn made me more nervous. I'm gonna have to make a conscious effort to say something witty next time.

            Shoot. Unfortunately, I always leave my wit at home when I go to work, otherwise I'd have been fired a long time ago.

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            • #7
              Off Topic, but just had to saw... Star Wars, nice, lol. MTFBWY
              Shamus: Why hasn't anybody designs a cranium-anus extraction kit yet? It seems that so many people suffer from a improperly-stored head.

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              • #8
                Ah, gotta love a person who can recognize various Mandalorians ^_^

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                • #9
                  When a Sleazy Perv asks, "Do you have a Boyfriend?"
                  1. If you claim to be a Lesbian: they'll ask if they "can watch" or other crude requests, or offer to "straighten you out". Keep in mind this is the common Sleazy Perv we're dealing with here, not an ordinary normal person.
                  2. No is not an answer. These guys don't take no for an answer. This is where the number for the Rejction Hotline is handy to have memorized. Keep your pepper spray close to hand.
                  3. You may quote this answer. " Boyfriend? Yeah, Jake's with my Dad and my older brothers at the shooting range, but he'll be back this afternoon. He's the greatest- He's a Marine, Special Ops!"
                  This response has been field tested to make almost any Sleazy Perv do a fast 180.
                  "Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. Munoa

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                  • #10
                    Err... How does him showing intrest in you make him a perv.
                    You are 18. He checked. You didn't express any obvious displeasure at his questions, since you answered all of them. Maybe you don't look quite as young as you think. If he was old enough to be your dad it might be different but you didn't mention it.

                    He liked the way you looked. He asked yoou personal questions that you answered. He even asked if you minded him asking the questions and you basically answered "no".

                    You saw him at the shoe department when you were there. Maybe he needed shoes. Maybe he though that since you were on a break he might offer to buy you coffee. He didn't know he freaked you out.

                    He did have a reason to come back. His jeans were faulty. Ethel hadn't helped with the issue so he wanted to talk to someone else. I can see why Ethel would laugh at you freaking out over this.

                    Checking if someone is a sexual predator because he looks at you when he's doing business with you and likes you hands is a bit of an overkill if you ask me.

                    If there is something spesific that made him a perv you didn't mention it. I'm sorry if I seem unsensitive to your problem, but unless he keeps making advances toward you after you've told him your not interested, he's not a perv.

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                    • #11
                      Ruinwen: Pervyness is hard to convey over text. It was probably in his body language or tone of voice that gave off warning bells to Boxgirl. Something that seems like an innocent conversation question like "so, what's your name" can be said in many diffrent tones to convey diffrent meanings and the one she received from him must have had potential perve buried in the message. I understand that sometimes women do overreact to situations and fire off the perv alarm, but that doesnt mean that all claims are invalid because of a few isolated incidents.

                      Boxgirl: It may be hard, but just tell the guy in blatent, no-room-for-misunderstanding term that you are in no way interested. If he persists, definatly get your manager involved. and if it approaces unwanted physical contact, than tell him off and call security. Even if the guy isnt a pervert, it is always better to be agressive in your disintrest so that they can't claim later on that you were leading them on. Most men who act innapropriate to women depend on the woman being passive and not stopping them. stop him.
                      Siead

                      Hobby Twitter.

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                      • #12
                        I'm sorry, but I have to play devil's advocate here too. I have no doubt that this guy creeped you out. But I didn't read anything in your post that suggests this guy was out of control or threatening. He was flirting with you, and you found him creepy. That's fine. You told him basically to back off when he went for the phone #, and now, if he keeps harassing you, or makes the tone of conversation overtly sexual, I'd say you have a case to call him a "perv" or worry about "stalker" tendencies. But unless I'm missing something, it seems as though your reaction might have been a little over the top.

                        Now in my Barista days I dealt with some unwanted "advances" (usually from wanna-be Wistoria Lane soccer moms or 14 going on wishing I was 20 teenyboppers) and usually a basic vibe of indifference gets the point across. Now don't get me wrong, I know it's wayyyy different for a guy in that situation.. but unless I felt that person was psychologically "off" or would try to pursue me outside of work, I didn't lose sleep over it. But like you, I would occasionally hide in the back and make co-workers take care of said creepy flirt when necessary.
                        Last edited by BaristaTrav; 05-09-2008, 02:08 PM.
                        I will never go to school!

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                        • #13
                          I have say, he wasn't really pervy.

                          It's possible that he's usually a shy guy who is trying to 'break out' of his normal routines, and doesn't really quite understand what the appropriate body language is for this type of situation. I had this problem myself when I was younger. I was in my mid 20's before I was able to really socialize well with most people without them feeling I was 'creepy' or 'weird'. It was really just a matter of learning the proper social cues and some people just don't have that naturally. My best friend, who is very socially adept, helped me out a lot.

                          The guy might have Asperger's Syndrome, which could easily lead to this kind of situation, because he doesn't read/understand social cues the way most people do.

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                          • #14
                            BoxGirl, listen to your gut instincts. If this guy is creeping you out then something is wrong. I was watching Oprah one afternoon and she had an expert on talking about women that DO NOT listen to their gut instinct because they don't want to be "rude" to a man that seems nice. This is something that I always thought so true. For example.

                            One Sunday I was closing manager and 5 minutes to close a man walks in the store. After we make the closing announcement and lock up he is just wandering around not really looking at anything. I make another we are closed announcement when all the other customers left and he looks over at us and walks to the back of the store. I had a weird feeling and every associate that night was a woman so I called all the associates to the front of the store to wait for him to leave. It felt safer to have us all waiting as a group at the front of the store. As I did this a co-worker said to me "Oh JLG you are gonna make him feel bad." Ya and so what. We are all women here and it is dark outside and the parking lot is empty. It is for our safety.

                            The expert on Oprah said that so many times women don't trust their insticts because other people say "Well he seems ok and he is not really doing anything wrong but talking to you." So trust your intuition!

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                            • #15
                              while he had valid reasons to return, it's his actions towards box that made him creepy.

                              no female likes to be stared at as if the male knows what she looks like sans clothing.

                              the questions were also out of line; he knew she was uncomfortable and persisted, which also makes him a creep.

                              try thinking from a woman's pov; then it makes sense.
                              look! it's ghengis khan!
                              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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