venting

[purple]

Just really need to vent. I am flying home from visiting my parents and i have never been so happy to leave. I "came out" to my parents in July. They took it well at the time even come out to dinner with my girlfriend when they visited at the end of July.

Turns out dad thought it was just a phase and he is not coping with it not being but at least he is telling me though.

Mum, the woman who has always said she would have no problem if my brother was gay (we suspected he was for a few years) will not acknowledge my girlfriend at all. Will not talk about her changes the subject if i bring her up etc.

It just hard for instance we went shopping for xmas food for me to take back. Normally she would ask and buy stuff that my partner would like but now nothing.

What really sucks is that me and the gf are planning to start a family next year and i would have loved for my parents to be a part of my children's lives. We have always been such a close family and now i feel i kind of have to chose.

[Pixilated]

Not having walked a mile in your shoes, all I can say (and take this with as much salt as you like) is give them some time. I don't know why they seemed OK with it at first and now seem to be not OK. Don't worry about "choosing" just yet. Try not to be confrontational but make it clear that you will not be the one to cut all ties and your door is always open, so to speak -- but also that you and gf are not a negotiable issue.

Best I can offer. Good luck and hope everything works out.

[dalesys]

It takes even the best parents some time to adjust to changes in our children's circumstances, even the ordinarily expected ones.

"My little anklebiter is gone all half-day to kindergarten?!?"

Be gentle, relaxed, firm and let them grow at their own rate. (infusions af MackerelGo™ in the potting soil are OK)

Expect that they will have some wistfulness that your path wasn't more ordinary... my mother still wishes I'd get back together with my ex after 24 years.

Your mother's willingness to accept your brother possibly being gay was probably preceeded by some years of soulsearching of do I do?