driveway =/= carpark

[Jay 2K Winger]

"Private Property, No PARKING at ANY TIME. Violators will be towed at vehicle owner's expense! And that's if I'm feeling nice. If not, the vehicle will be glitter bombed!"

Why be exclusive?

"Violators will be glitter bombed and towed at vehicle owner's expense!"

[protege]

I've thought about putting this sign in my driveway. But, it hangs in my office, since some idiot would steal it.

Where I live, we have a serious problem with parking. It's not so bad usually. But, if there's an event at the elementary school around the corner...things get irritating very quickly. I can handle people parking along the street. But, when they're lined up down both sides, right up to the edges of driveways, it pisses me off. I can barely get into my driveway, and coming back out isn't happening.

Several of my neighbors have found their driveways blocked...or idiots parking their cars in them! I caught one idiot leaving one afternoon. 5 minutes earlier, and his Buick-driving ass would have been forced to wait

That's nothing compared to what one of my neighbors did. He was supposed to be taking his kids to karate. Instead, some dipshit in a sedan parked across his driveway. Pissed off, he simply backed up his car until the bumper was nearly touching the driver's door. Then he left a nasty note on the windshield. The woman who parked there had to wait until he moved his car. Seems that unlike "land yachts" from GM and Ford, which had bench seats, this thing had buckets. In those cars, she could have simply entered the passenger side, slid across, and driven off. No, she really didn't want to crawl over, and have the gearshift, um. "boldly going where no man had gone before..."

Pretty mild compared to what another neighbor did. He had a parking 'pad' in his front yard, and had been boxed in. Rather than call a tow truck...he fired up his 454-powered long-bed Chevy...and simply pushed the hatchback out of the way

[Ironclad Alibi]

Why be exclusive?

"Violators will be glitter bombed and towed at vehicle owner's expense!"

Will you be able to get the tow company to add in the cost of the glitter bomb?

[Racket_Man]

Or get a whole bag of glitter, that stuff gets in everywhere, they'll find it years after... in the car!

Glitter is not the only thing that can "haunt" you.

When I worked for a tech support company years ago, on of my co-workers put a BUNCH of leaves and acorns above my sun visors in my car. I came out, got in my car and flipped down the sun visor and all of that "mess" fell everywhere in my front seat.

I cleaned out the acrons as best as I could. every so often when cleaning the car over the next couple of years I would find the odd acorn in strange places.

[Dips]

We had neighbors who started parking in one half of our driveway because we "weren't using it." Hubby didn't want to start something and we really didn't need it, so we let it go for a while.

Then winter came. The neighbors hired a plow service.

We came home to find the half of *our* driveway that they parked in all nicely plowed out and empty and the half we parked in unplowed. So we parked in the side that had been nicely plowed out for us.

Cue the neighbors coming over and offering to plow the *whole* driveway if we'd let them park in it.

We told them that it was a deal for the rest of the winter, but come spring they'd have to park elsewhere.

They were fine with that and it all worked out.

Then they moved and the sucky entitled tenants moved in.

[AccountingDrone]

Glitter is not the only thing that can "haunt" you.

When I worked for a tech support company years ago, on of my co-workers put a BUNCH of leaves and acorns above my sun visors in my car. I came out, got in my car and flipped down the sun visor and all of that "mess" fell everywhere in my front seat.

I cleaned out the acrons as best as I could. every so often when cleaning the car over the next couple of years I would find the odd acorn in strange places.

We let the opal sit in the field one fall and winter right after we got it and the first time Rob turned on the fan in the spring he got hosed down with grass seeds from the mice storing it for the winter in the plenum. We were finding grass seeds for years afterwards.

[Andrew B.]

Then they moved and the sucky entitled tenants moved in.

Have you told that story on this site already, and if so, where is it?

[MoonCat]

A union tactic of which I have heard:

Cover the car as much as possible with birdseed. Birds will feast, there will be no birdseed left to be seen...but there will be something else.

Not that I recommend this tactic at all, at all.

[fireheart]

Speaking of stupid drivers around schools, I was out finding a park at another school the other day. I found my space and just as I walk up near this house, this lady pulls into a driveway (presumably to do a 3-point turn) and nearly hits the homeowner. She gets greeted with a HUGE blast of water over her windscreen.

Also, not sure how common this is around my state, but my old primary school and the school where I do a lot of my current work both have crossing monitors. They are students in Years 6/7 who end up acting as crossing guards in the mornings and afternoons (with teacher supervision of course). There's usually 3-2 who hold the STOP signs (and yes, drivers do follow them) and 1 who blows the whistle to indicate the signs go up or down. The one who blows the whistle also receives another power: He/she has a book and pencil in a bumbag (that also holds the whistle when they're finished for the day) and whenever they spot a driver do something they shouldn't (park illegally for instance), they get the number plate down. This gets passed onto the council/police who then ticket the offender

[Dips]

Have you told that story on this site already, and if so, where is it?

Probably. They had loud parties often and they constantly let their friends park in our driveway or on the road blocking us in. No asking permission. Lots of arguments and name-calling if we told them to move. And the expectation that we were somehow obligated to find their friends alternate parking if we wouldn't let them use our driveway.

In retrospect we were too lenient. We should have just called the tow truck the second time and been done with it. There are some people where trying to be nice only gives people the impression they can keep taking advantage of you.

[An Haddock]

Guy who used to work for me lives right around the corner from the shop in a big Victorian house on a corner. They have a small driveway just big enough for one vehicle about 50 feet up on the side of the street. But because parking around here is at a premium and no one can read, I constantly see people parking their cars blocking the driveway in. I know they've had vehicles ticketed before. If I happen to see someone getting out of their car I'll let them know, too.

And a friend of mine used to live a block away from an Irish bar. The place was a mob scene on St. Patty's day and sometimes he'd get some idiot who'd either block his driveway or park IN his driveway. He had no problem calling to have them towed.

[AccountingDrone]

Last company I worked for had these killer company Christmas parties and the location used to be a bank. The corner parking lot that used to belong to the bank was sold to a parking company, and the drive through lane became the owners parking area and a handicapped parking spot. One party I parked there, arranged with the owner of the venue. Some stupid idiot parked me in and wandered off to a different bar so obviously when we were ready to leave they were nowhere to be found. They got towed Christmas Eve

[taxguykarl]

"Violators will be glitter bombed and towed at vehicle owner's expense!"

I have to admit, it does sound nicer than Violators will be violated