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  • A New Record!

    We all know how customer standard time (tm) works, what passes as seconds for us takes hours for them?

    It's like they're the living the real-life example of Einstein's famous thought experiment about what happens when you accelerate yourself to near-light speed, namely, you get lots of poorly-conceived story premises for dozens and dozens and dozens of sci-fi tv shows to latch onto.

    Well, I found a guy so time-dilated this weekend that even the laziest hack writer would have had his willing suspension of disbelief ray-gunned into oblivion had it come to him in a script form.

    This gentleman insisted he had only been illegally parked for TWO SECONDS! And it wasn't hyperbole, he MEANT it sincerely!

    I gave him a chance to , ahem, revise his estimate given the fact it takes longer than two seconds to even drive into the lot as deep as he was in it. (Past two signs that say "permit parking only" and he had none) I mean, I would have SEEN him right in front of me as I pulled in, getting out of his car and would have hooked it with him about 4 steps beyond it.... in fact, it takes longer than two seconds to even get the claws around the tires.... as it was, nobody was anywhere near it.

    Nope, he was only there for TWO SECONDS!

    I pointed out the impossibility of that, in light of the fact that, well, I've been here about 5 minutes and this is the first I saw of him.

    He persisted, It was JUST TWO SECONDS!

    That's when I think I heard a tiny little *twang* in my head as what must have been my last good nerve snapped like an overtight "G" string on a guitar...

    Sir, it was NOT two seconds. *Places hand on car hood* This engine is ice-cold, DO NOT LIE to me! I DON'T APPRECIATE IT!!!

    Wow, Argabarga rage, never knew I had that in me. Always suspected it, but, wow.....

    Needless to say, the argument was over at that point.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    WOW someone "killed" an SCs attitude with TOTAL logic and reason??????

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzlG28B-R8Y
    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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    • #3
      Excellent! I have some customers I would love to say flat out to, Do Not Lie to me! I will live vicariously through you, sir.

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      • #4
        Once again, Sir Arga of Barga knocks the Sucktomers off their towers of delusion.
        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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        • #5
          much logic. so anger. argument end. wow.

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          • #6
            Logic worked? On an SC? I can't believe it! Wow! Argabarga you are awesome!

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            • #7
              Seriously, it's so rare that you're allowed that kinda of 'sass' with people like that! You mind if I live vicariously through your stories? ^-^

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              • #8
                Quoth Argabarga View Post
                This gentleman insisted he had only been illegally parked for TWO SECONDS! And it wasn't hyperbole, he MEANT it sincerely!
                Unless the sign mentions a time limit (such as "5-minute customer parking" or whatever) that's still 2 seconds too long.

                Quoth Argabarga View Post
                Sir, it was NOT two seconds. *Places hand on car hood* This engine is ice-cold, DO NOT LIE to me! I DON'T APPRECIATE IT!!!

                Wow, Argabarga rage, never knew I had that in me. Always suspected it, but, wow.....

                Needless to say, the argument was over at that point.
                Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
                Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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                • #9
                  Quoth Deserted View Post
                  that's still 2 seconds too long.
                  That what I loved about Parking Wars.

                  Sucky Parker: I've only been here for a minute!
                  Ticket Writer: Well sir that's one minute too long. It says "No Standing" not "Parking OK for a minute"

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                  • #10
                    It wasn't logic that got through...it was realizing he ticked you off. Which, in this case, works just as well, if not better.
                    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                    • #11
                      I wonder if his wife/gf complains that he was there for just two seconds.
                      To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                        I wonder if his wife/gf complains that he was there for just two seconds.
                        It would be something with a two in it. Perhaps millimetres if his wife was metric.

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