Short and sweet but lovely pwnage

[fireheart]

A friend of mine posted this status on FB.

Some guy on the bus asked "Hey bitch, does this bus go to the city?" Maybe if he asked nicely I wouldn't have told him he had to get off at <university> to catch an imaginary connecting bus.

Gotta love it.

[bhskittykatt]

I've done stuff like that. I'll get guys who want to go to a bar, obviously to pick up chicks. I can respect that, and if they can respect me, I'll send them to the local meat market. If they're obnoxious dicks about it and try to hit on me with lame pick-up lines, I'll sent them to the GLBT club, where the chicks you pick up may or may not really be chicks "down there".

[surreal20]

rofl That's hilarious. The guy deserved it.

[fireheart]

That is awesome lol. One can only hope he followed her directions and ended up 2 hours late to wherever he was going

What makes it equally more hilarious is that there are signs located at the major bus stops, including the uni (I think he actually wanted the hospital nearby which also has a massive bus interchange) saying "this route goes here". All the guy had to do was actually read the signs.

[RestaurantDude]

I did that once in my days at The Restaurant. Guy was being a real creeper, and weirding out all of our female staffers. We finally get rid of him, and he asks me directions to a club (guess he wasn't done being a scummy creep yet). I directed him to turn down a road that dumps you onto the highway heading out of town.

[pollywog]

I did something similar when I worked at the gas station eons ago.
The guy comes up to the counter with a major attitude, barely looks at me and snaps "Tell me how to get to blah, blah, blah". If he had been nice I could have gotten him where he wanted to go in about 3 minutes. Instead I got him so lost that not only did he not get where he needed to go, but he also could not have found his way back to where I was due to many, many one way streets.

[CatsLairArchives]

I've done stuff like that. I'll get guys who want to go to a bar, obviously to pick up chicks. I can respect that, and if they can respect me, I'll send them to the local meat market. If they're obnoxious dicks about it and try to hit on me with lame pick-up lines, I'll sent them to the GLBT club, where the chicks you pick up may or may not really be chicks "down there".

"Blue Oyster Bar", anyone?

[wolfie]

I guess I'm not the only one who watched "Police Academy".

[Cazzi]

"Blue Oyster Bar", anyone?

There goes rule 1 again!

At least it was only water... soon dry up

[MadMike]

My one friend did something like that to this guy she was seeing, shortly after he started showing his true colors and she realized he wasn't as great as she thought he was. I tried to tell her, but no one ever listens to me...

Anyway, she was out with me and a few of her other friends at the bar, and he kept texting her, demanding to know just who she was with and what she was doing. She showed me the conversation they'd had so far, and then she did something to remind me just why she's one of my favorites. She sent him a text telling him she was at a motel having an orgy, and named a bunch of guys she was supposedly doing it with. So he demanded to know exactly where this was going on, and she gave him the name of a motel and a room number.

The motel existed, but was almost an hour away from where he was. The room number did not exist at all, which he found out once he got there. She called me up the next day, laughing so hard she could barely breathes, telling me he sent her a nasty text about how she made him waste $10 in gas.

[Seshat]

If they're obnoxious dicks about it and try to hit on me with lame pick-up lines, I'll sent them to the GLBT club, where the chicks you pick up may or may not really be chicks "down there".

What did the GLBT folks do to you to deserve the obnoxious dick?

Memorise the address of a police station local to the bars/clubs district. Send them there.

[AccountingDrone]

I've done stuff like that. I'll get guys who want to go to a bar, obviously to pick up chicks. I can respect that, and if they can respect me, I'll send them to the local meat market. If they're obnoxious dicks about it and try to hit on me with lame pick-up lines, I'll sent them to the GLBT club, where the chicks you pick up may or may not really be chicks "down there".

I had a guy dear john me from a 2 year relationship while I was in hospital, and the fun started when he used the line 'we can still be friends'

After I got out, I was taken on a celebratory pub crawl by 2 friends, which since he was over picking up some stuff from my flat, he got invited along to. It started out just fine, with a run to ChiChi's across the street. Gradually the *quality* of the places decreased [in a manner of speaking] until we ended up at about 1 am at what was back then called The Liberty Pole ... a fairly fun gay bar, with a good dance floor and excellent DJ.

This 'gentleman' was of medium height, rather good looking in a long haired frat boy blond sort of way [this being 1982] with a decent beard, and just shorter than shoulder length hair. He was also exceptionally drunk.

We sort of left him on the dance floor, and faded away to Jay's Diner without him.

Odd though, I never got any sort of call from him after that.

[Shalom]

Quoting "Cop 'n Attitude" (who I've quoted before in this forum):

http://copnattitude.blogspot.com/201...upervisor.html

"How about if you put your seatbelt on for me," I suggested.

"Yeah, ok," he replied, making no effort to do it. "So how do I get over there?"

"Well first you start by putting your seatbelt on," I suggested again.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"I'll tell you right after I hand you the $50.00 ticket for not wearing your seat belt if you don't put it on right now," I told him.

He sighed and put it in. "There. happy now? Feel big? Gonna tell me now?"

"No problem," I said with a smile. "Go straight ahead to that next light. Take the downramp that says "Airport" and after you get on it, the very next turn-around you come to will take you right downtown. Just follow the signs."

"Thanks for nothing!" he yelled as he drove off.

Of course that ramp did in fact take him to the city, just not as directly as he'd have wanted. Read the post for the most hilarious pwnage I've ever heard... it's never a good idea to be an asshole to a cop, especially one who you intend to ask for help.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Perfect! Give this person a high five from some strange girl on the internet!

[superhotelworker]

I did this this weekend. A guy wanted a guests address (big no no) but refused to leave without one. I wasn't nice.. I sent him to our Police Station..