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  • #16
    So I went and picked up Red from her....rendesvous with the Other Guy.

    And on the drive back, she was stressing about the whole thing, how she's never cheated, how much she loves the Tool, etc. The entire time, I'm cracking up. Basically gloating, if you will. Because, of course, I called this before we even got to the mainland. Called my shot. And out of the park it went, without me even having to orchestrate a damn thing. Because, you know, I'm brilliant and shit.

    At one point, she's worrying about the whole situation (though she knows damn well *I* won't say anything to the Tool), and she says, "How am I going to deal with this today?"

    ME: "Simple."
    BOTH OF US: "Lots and lots of alcohol!"



    Amusingly, I predicted that Other Guy will be moving to KW. Red thinks that that is Not Going To Happen. But I have not been wrong on all this, and I look at the situation as simple math: up here he has no girl, a shit job, and a shithole apartment, both way beneath his abilities and potential, and a fucking horrible economy that doesn't show much hope for his situation changing any time soon. Down in KW, there is a girl he's been thinking of literally for years (yeah, she has a boyfriend, but whatever), he can get a better job, a better living situation, and he's been thinking of making the move anyway for years. And it doesn't hurt that I offered him my couch for if/when he moves down, until he finds his own place. I've basically put out the red carpet for this dude.

    Yes, I'm a bastard. A horrible, evil, conniving, devious, fucking bastard. Your point?

    Sure, I didn't get any, but this whole thing is fucking hilarious. And we're heading off shortly for (what else?) some Bloody Pigs. Which are gaining notoriety everywhere we go.

    I love my life. Now I just need a steady woman in it. Being on the sidelines is entertaining, but I'm so ready to get back in the game.

    "Put me in coach...I'm ready to play...today!"

    Beercation 2011, taking names but not taking any prisoners! WOOOOT!
    Last edited by Jester; 05-16-2011, 03:14 PM.

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."

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    • #17
      But what happened to the breakfast waitress??
      A crisis is a problem you can't control. Drama is a problem you can, but won't. - Otter

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      • #18
        Quoth Jester View Post
        And it doesn't hurt that I offered him my couch for if/when he moves down, until he finds his own place. I've basically put out the red carpet for this dude.
        Don't you need a roommate?

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        • #19
          Quoth JambaBamba View Post
          But what happened to the breakfast waitress??
          Huh? Which one? I'm so confused. Elaborate, please.

          Quoth Mikkel View Post
          Don't you need a roommate?
          Technically, no, as the guy I thought might take the room took the room, and got the deposit check to my other roommate. But I did think about that very thing.

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

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          • #20
            Bloody Pigs???? Did I miss a post?

            Please elaborate. I am assuming bacon is involved somewhere??

            It is a shame you live on another continent, Jester, or I would have had you happily hooked up to a fantastic woman ages ago. Unfortunately, I don't know any women in your neck of the woods or I would have sent them in search of you
            "When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
            "We don't have a gold plated toilet"
            "Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

            -Jasper Fforde

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            • #21
              Quoth raw456 View Post
              Bloody Pigs???? Did I miss a post?

              Please elaborate. I am assuming bacon is involved somewhere??
              If I recall correctly from Jester mentioning it somewhere, it's a Bloody Mary with bacon.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #22
                I don't know the code for this thread needs photos thing emoticon, but I want to see this unbelievably good looking man that Red knew in college. PLEASE!
                Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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                • #23
                  Quoth raw456 View Post
                  Bloody Pigs???? Did I miss a post?

                  Please elaborate. I am assuming bacon is involved somewhere??

                  It is a shame you live on another continent, Jester, or I would have had you happily hooked up to a fantastic woman ages ago. Unfortunately, I don't know any women in your neck of the woods or I would have sent them in search of you
                  As someone said, it's merely a bloody mary with a cooked strip of bacon in it. Eating the bacon after it's been marinating in the bloody is just awesome. It's the new taste sensation sweeping the nation. (I secretly look forward to the day someone comes into my bar and asks me if I know how to make a bloody pig...since, of course, I freakin' invented it!)

                  As for the fantastic woman, my one and only fiance actually was not from this continent. That being said, neither of us know if this fantastic woman of yours and myself would even get along, let alone hook up, etc., etc. But I appreciate the kind thought!

                  Quoth hinakiba777 View Post
                  I don't know the code for this thread needs photos thing emoticon, but I want to see this unbelievably good looking man that Red knew in college. PLEASE!
                  Don't know if I can do it. I would have to run it by Red, and him. I'd say there's a good chance that that won't be happening, but if they're both fine with it (and since her boyfriend is not a member of this board, it's possible), I'll post something.

                  Today will be the first morning without Bloody Pigs. I think we've had enough of those for now, and between our colds and the whole vacation, we're a bit run down. We're gonna make one more beer stop in Miami, at DRB (Democratic Republic of Beer), that I have been to and Red has not, have some lunch and one or two beers there, then back to Key West, broke, sick, hungover, and happy.

                  NOTE: I just asked Red, and your request has been denied. Sorry, no smoking hot guy pictures for you folks. You'll have to settle for other pics from our vacay, which I may have eventually, but not yet.

                  "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                  Still A Customer."

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    You see, our waitress was an absolute delight. Just a scream. Definitely our best server since we've been here, probably the best one we'll see all beercation. And she was one of those people that is somewhat good-looking, but her personality makes her that much better looking. So of course it was a natural idea to ask her to join us out drinking tonight. And of course, it would be far less creepy or obvious if Red did it.

                    To which she told me that I should ask the waitress; why should she? See? She just doesn't get the whole wingman thing at all.

                    It's all good, though. Red finally (after much arm-twisting from me, and some bacon for her bloody) did suggest that the said waitress should join us this evening. Kind of lamely, but she did do it. As it turns out, she'll be working at the bar tonight, so we'll just come back and see her then.
                    That waitress? Didn't you see her at the bar?
                    A crisis is a problem you can't control. Drama is a problem you can, but won't. - Otter

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Jester View Post
                      As someone said, it's merely a bloody mary with a cooked strip of bacon in it
                      Yay!! I'm someone!!!
                      Unseen but seeing
                      oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                      There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                      3rd shift needs love, too
                      RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth JambaBamba View Post
                        That waitress? Didn't you see her at the bar?
                        Yes and no. We went in to that bar that night, but she had already left, as it had just been a training shift.

                        We did see her for Bloody Pigs the next morning, and got her contact info, and even invited her out that day to a bar we were going to, but when we texted her, we never heard back from her.

                        Oh, well.

                        Amusingly, today when we were driving back, Little Red actually commented that maybe that waitress and another bartender we met and invited out would have been more likely to come if she (Red) had texted them instead of me. I about smacked her. "Yes, dear, that is what a wingman DOES."

                        Though I don't think that either one was creeped out or anything by my text or anything....it was one text. And the other bartender even texted back that she had saved my number. And I am relatively sure I didn't creep her out, since I invited her AND her boyfriend out to join us, and was never doing anything that could be construed as hitting on her.

                        In all, we got the contact info for five different random people we met: one server, two bartenders, one server/bartender/manager, and the last one's boyfriend, who drank with us for many hours at one of the coolest beer bars ever.

                        And here are the initial unofficial numbers from the Beercation:
                        Jester: libations in 23 different establishments (including our second hotel, when we had a beer by the pool).
                        Red: 19 different establishments.

                        And while I can't comment on Red's total, by my notes and memory, I figured I tried, tasted, sampled, or drank 56 different beers on this trip. (Some were merely tastes of Red's or someone else's beer...with permission, of course.) That number includes some beers I've had before, but the vast majority were brand new for me.

                        This does NOT include the array of beers I bought at the liquor store to bring home, by the way.

                        I shall be typing up my beer notes (and adding more details to the vacation log) over the next few days.

                        Right now, I feel like shit, having driven almost 200 miles while sick, and am going to crawl into my bed and spend some quality time with my DVR.

                        Stay thirsty, my friends!

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

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                        • #27
                          Just got this text from one of our Lauderdale bartenders:

                          "Hey guys! Sorry i missed you guys last weekend. Just wanted 2 say hi! I am enjoying bloody pigs on the beach right now!! Lol! Got us all drinkin them! "

                          I love being a genius!

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

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