"Real Pets" Rant (Warning: Contains Some Sad Stuff and Language)

[morgana]

"Well, it wasn't really your cat any more cuz you didn't have it living with you."

Does that mean Barb and T aren't my sisters anymore? Geez . . .

And "real pet" my ass. Mouthy McBrainless there isn't a real human.

[jedimaster91]

Exotic vets are expensive. Sometimes horrendously so. My parents are allergic to fuzzy things, so we had birds. Our first bird ended up with a vitamin deficiency we didn't catch until it was too late. For what my parents spent on trying to get her better, we probably could have gotten two or three new birds. Sadly, she didn't make it very long after that and we were all devastated. She's buried in my parents' backyard. The cranky feathered thing I have now has racked up his fair share of vet bills too. One year I spent $500 between two vets trying to figure out why he had some feathers growing in weird. My husband hates that bird, but he knows I love him, so we set aside money every year for the birdy vet. My "free" rescue dog cost us quite a bit figuring out her gimpy leg and the anti-inflammatories to help it feel better.

We had to put a dog down a few years ago and that was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I've had a few beta fish over the years and got surprisingly attached to them. The last one looked awful for several weeks before he finally gave up the ghost and if I'd known fish euthanasia was an option, I would have looked into it. A few times I thought he'd finally croaked and then he'd move until one day he didn't. I still miss that little guy.

[RootedPhoenix]

I get sad about lost computers. I have something of a symbiotic relationship with them, and I mourn my symbiotes.

If it's an inanimate object, you are mourning a collection of experiences that are no longer going to be yours to have. If it's a living thing, you are mourning experiences and an actual being.

Both emotional states matter, because you do. <3

[bhskittykatt]

A few days later, we got a sympathy card in the mail from our vet, which everyone in the office had signed.

Our vet did that when I lost my first guinea pig, Aragorn. I'd rushed him to the clinic, but he passed during the drive. I went in to let the staff know I wouldn't need the appt after all. Got the card a few days later.

[CoffeeMonkey]

Our vet did that when I lost my first guinea pig, Aragorn. I'd rushed him to the clinic, but he passed during the drive. I went in to let the staff know I wouldn't need the appt after all. Got the card a few days later.

Our vet takes a photo of each new pet on their first visit. The waiting room is full of binders of years of cats and dogs. After the first visit, you get a card of the picture printed out welcoming your new pet. They use the same picture as a sympathy card when the pet dies. It's very sweet.

[Gidgetdigit]

Thank you for being there for this person. It may be "just a fish", but the backstory about the connection to her child made me cry. A fish would not be my pet of choice, but I know what it is like to lose a loved one, so I could understand how losing a connection to that loved one would be so painful. You are a wonderful person to be there for her. Thank you.

[EricKei]

I lost my sweet, loving husky just about a year ago to...well...being fifteen years old. Lots of little things compounding. Lost my last kitty a few months later, at age 13.

[RealUnimportant]

When I was living with my first family in the US, I saved an abandoned kitten from the insulation under the trailer as I was the only one that would go under there. I named her, washed her, and cared for her for about a month, whereupon a freak accident while playing in the sofa with one of the family dogs led to her dying in my arms. I was utterly gutted, but one of my housemates (who had 3 cats there herself) just didn't get it. Luckily everyone else did, including her fur babies who took it in turns to ensure I was never without a purring speedbump by my side for the next few weeks. Even thinking back is making me tear up.

As for cars, there's a guy in one of my classic car clubs who cannot understand why some people get attached to & name their vehicles, as they're "just tools, things", etc. This same fool earns his living from restoring cars, and cannot see the disconnect; if people didn't get emotionally involved with their cars, 99% of his business would disappear!

[dendawg]

if people didn't get emotionally involved with their cars, 99% of his business would disappear!

Sounds like he's only in it for the money, and Madmike, you have an awesome vet for them doing that.

[Mental_Mouse]

I have several hamsters - all but one of them are at least second (and a couple of third) generation, born and raised in my apartment. The oldest is a little lady around three years of age, which is usually the maximum for the species and she's still quite spry.

Some people may consider them disposable, but I'm rather proud of their condition and lifespan. They're my happy little family.

That lifespan is why I wouldn't keep hamsters -- watching them each die after just two or three years.

I'm told some blind folks have gone over from seeing-eye dogs to miniature horses (!), precisely because the horses live 35 years or so instead of the 12 or so for a large dog.

[Ashaela]

I've had fish, but I never really connected with them as anything more than fun to watch. It's just a personal thing - I'm not really into birds, rabbits, rats either - but I would never ever look down on someone just because their pet isn't the one I would choose.

Regardless of what kind of animal you have, the love and the grief is the same! It's so incredibly insensitive to dismiss somebody or make rude comments when they're going through that.

[Seshat]

Some birds of the parrot family are extremely intelligent and excellent companion animals, and some can perform the sorts of tasks that make them service animals!

An animal who can sense when you're seriously unwell, go to a phone, knock the receiver off the hook, press a specific button, and say 'help' a lot? Yep!

We have chosen not to get a parrot, partly because the variant I most want is one of the most demanding! (Sulphur crested cockatoo) They also have very long lifespans, if you care for them well (70 years is not unknown!)

I don't know why that's what this thread has prompted me to talk about. I guess it's just ... you love who and what you love, and yeah, I'm with everyone who's said 'be sympathetic even if you don't understand'.

[BlaqueKatt]

We have chosen not to get a parrot, partly because the variant I most want is one of the most demanding! (Sulphur crested cockatoo) They also have very long lifespans, if you care for them well (70 years is not unknown!)

I would love either a european starling or a green cheeked conure, starling because they're mimics and can therefore talk, conure because most of them actually enjoy being held, which isn't normal for birds.

Currently I just have my starlings and fish crows outside, I consider them "free range pets" and my partner has rushed two of the crows to area bird rehabilitators. I cried when the one crow didn't make it(sick), and was overjoyed when the other returned to the refinery(fledgling with a dislocated elbow), even though his family had migrated, for the winter he's been "adopted" by a group of american crows that stuck around.

[laborcat]

I've lost pets over the years, but having to put the ex's Rottweiler down was the absolute hardest thing had to do, not only because I loved that damn dog with a passion I didn't think possible, but also because it was hurting HIM so bad. The vet offered pain management that would maybe give us another six months with her, but she had bone cancer and had broken a leg, couldn't take herself outside or to her food and we couldn't let her live like that for our selfish reasons. I still miss that dog.

I bought a Chevy blazer six years ago and fell in love with that truck. Was involved in a traffic accident in August and after that, things just started going bad fast. Brake line went bad, transmission went bad, oil started leaking. I finally admitted to myself that I needed something else when I had to put it in reverse to stop sliding on the ice before I hit a parked car in the alley. I'm sad because I had a lot of great times in that truck, and I don't want to let it go, but I don't have a place to keep it. Soon totally understand emotional attachment to inanimate objects.

And that bitch working in a vets office, should not be. Seriously. That made me mad reading that.

[DataHound]

To all of you who lost pets, I'm so sorry for your losses. I know how hard it is to lose a pet and my heart goes out to you.

Watching a shaved hamster come out of anesthesia is kinda funny, too.

I personally enjoy rattie surgeries. Afterwards, we use toddler socks with holes cut out for wound compression and to prevent the patients from chewing out their sutures. Ratties with little sock shirts is one of the cutest things ever.

I admire the poster's restraint in holding back her response to that thoughtless person.

Honestly, I wanted to yell at that woman until she cried. I was furious. I wanted her to realize how horrible what she said actually was. The only thing that held me back was the knowledge that my duty was to my client and losing my temper wouldn't have made that lady's day any easier.

OP, I'm glad you were there for that lady. I'm sure you helped her grieving process. Kindness is important.

It may not have been evident from the post, but speaking to that woman in person it was clear to see she was reliving the death of her son through the death of her fish. She told me her son died in a car accident and passed before the ambulance got to him. Her son died alone and in pain on the side of the road and the thought of her fish dying alone and in pain dug up all that old hurt. She felt like she was losing her son all over again and I tried my best to make sure it was easier for her this time around. If keeping a dying fish company eased her grief even a little bit, it was worth it.

I had no idea that you could euthanize a pet fish. That's...kind of awesome.

We treat pet fish as well. Fish diseases are usually caused by improper care or bad breeding so there isn't a heck of a lot we can do most of the time aside from client education but I personally love that it's a service we offer and that the clinic doesn't discriminate, so to speak.

I had to put my beloved kitty down (stomach cancer). He was with me from the time I moved out, until the time I met my husband and got engaged, and was there when I had my daughter. That cat was like a 2nd child to me.

I was weeping uncontrollably when we went to leave the vet's office, and the WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK told me to stop crying because "it's just a cat".

No. No. He wasn't "just a cat". I read the OP and got all kinds of het up - why do people have to come out with this crap? A pet is a pet is a pet and nobody can tell anyone else how to feel or that their pet isn't "real".

I don't know how you kept from saying something to that person... I would have had a very hard time keeping quiet.

I am so sorry that happened to you. That is inexcusable. In tech school, we are required to take classes and lectures on human psychology, euthanasia, and the grieving process. It's drilled into us how big of an impact we can make on an owner's reaction to loss. Despite all that, some techs I've met are very nonchalant during euths and even more only see cats and dogs as "real pets". Hearing someone who went to school for years and took an oath to help and protect animals say "the only good snake is a dead snake" gets my back up. If you can't respect the human-animal bond, stay far away from the veterinary field because you don't belong here.

Some birds of the parrot family are extremely intelligent and excellent companion animals, and some can perform the sorts of tasks that make them service animals!

An animal who can sense when you're seriously unwell, go to a phone, knock the receiver off the hook, press a specific button, and say 'help' a lot? Yep!

We have chosen not to get a parrot, partly because the variant I most want is one of the most demanding! (Sulphur crested cockatoo) They also have very long lifespans, if you care for them well (70 years is not unknown!)

I don't know why that's what this thread has prompted me to talk about. I guess it's just ... you love who and what you love, and yeah, I'm with everyone who's said 'be sympathetic even if you don't understand'.

Before I started at the exotic clinic, I had no idea how intelligent birds were. We have a rescue bird in back who can hold conversations and loves flirting with all the women who pass by. He wolf-whistles at us or will say "g'night gorgeous" when we go to shut off the lights at night.

I would love either a european starling or a green cheeked conure, starling because they're mimics and can therefore talk, conure because most of them actually enjoy being held, which isn't normal for birds.

Conures are fantastic. I'm partial to suns (I love that coloring) but those birds have a set of lungs, let me tell you. Once, I thought someone was injured in the lobby from the piercing shrieks I heard. It was a sun conure amusing himself.

I've lost pets over the years, but having to put the ex's Rottweiler down was the absolute hardest thing had to do, not only because I loved that damn dog with a passion I didn't think possible, but also because it was hurting HIM so bad. The vet offered pain management that would maybe give us another six months with her, but she had bone cancer and had broken a leg, couldn't take herself outside or to her food and we couldn't let her live like that for our selfish reasons. I still miss that dog.

Forgive me if my words are unwanted, but I don't think you were selfish at all. Frequently, owners will ask us if it's time to euthanize because they feel their pet is doing poorly but don't want to let them go yet. We tell them all the same thing; we don't know. You know your pet better than anyone else in the world. When it's time, your pet will let you know.