Never answer the phone

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

An outside call came in for furniture yesterday, I had to take it because one of the salesfloor people was on break and the other was with another customer.

"I bought some furniture from you a couple years ago, can you look it up for me?"

I tell the caller if she bought the furniture "a couple years ago," then it's likely been discontinued and we no longer carry it. I offer to look it up if she can read me the UPC off the receipt.

"I threw the receipt away."

I tell the caller there's nothing I can do.

"Well you're not very helpful!"

To be quite honest, neither was she.

[RealUnimportant]

How dare you not remember such an insignificant purchase from so long ago; don't you care about your customers at all!?

[Mytical]

I need that red thing that was advertised 10 years ago by <not your store>. You know .. that red thing. Where would I find it??

[eltf177]

How DARE you leave your psychic helmet at home!

[notalwaysright]

Similar to the dreaded "hi, I'm wondering if you have this fabric that was on sale last month. It was maybe cotton or polyester, and was like $5 or $10 or maybe cheaper or more expensive. I saw it on Pinterest."

[MoonCat]

Or the infamous "I want this book I saw on Oprah. It's blue. What do you mean you don't know the title! It's BLUE!"

[Trixie]

Or "I saw this thing on TV. It was at the other store."

[nutraxfornerves]

I used to run an exhibit where we talked to people about garden pest control. "I found a bug on my rose bush. It was black, about this long, and had a bunch of legs."

[Argabarga]

Did you tow my car? It's blue, and I parked it somewhere downtown...... well, do you have it or not?

[Ironclad Alibi]

Did you tow my car? It's blue, and I parked it somewhere downtown...... well, do you have it or not?

"No. The other guy has it, on the other side of town."

[Monterey Jack]

"Do you have the one with that guy who was in that movie last year...?" [cookies for reference]

[Mr Hero]

"Do you have the one with that guy who was in that movie last year...?" [cookies for reference]

What would you get for a six-year-old boy who chronically wets his bed?

So, do you have any new movies in?

[Golden Phoenix]

"I'm calling to pay my friend's/childs/parents bill. Account number? No, don't have that. Address...uh....thirty something Whatsit way. Or is it Whatsit Road? Oh, actually i think it's whatchamacallit street. Is the customer here with me? No, why? Do you really need that stuff?"

[Catwoman2965]

I'm looking for the black sweater I saw in the catalog/online. No I don't know what length sleeves it had, what kind of neckline, etc. You know that black sweater! The one I saw online on the model.

[Ben_Who]

"Do you have the one with that guy who was in that movie last year...?" [cookies for reference]

Yugh, my roommate does that all the time.

Actual quote: "Do you remember that movie from last year starring that guy who was in that movie with that woman who was in the TV show with the guy that played Doctor Who? Not the one now, but the other one."

His brain is like a constant game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. All those connections, not one single proper name.