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Haven't had any major SCs lately *knock on wood* but plenty of small moments of stupidity. One should be under "Morons in Management" but wasn't worthy of its own thread.
Yes, sales END
SC: Excuse me, is this on rebate? *points to a phone*
Me: Not at the moment.
SC: Well, it was on rebate [by which he meant "on sale"] two weeks ago.
Me: Well, that sale ended.
Which considering the look that flitted across his face before he stammered out an acknowledgement, was a completely alien concept. He must have been thinking of "Everywhere Else" where sales never end and the price just keeps going lower until they pay you to take it away.
I know it says it isn't, but is it?
SC *holding a draft-N wireless router*: It says here *pointing to fine print* that this isn't guaranteed to be upgradable when they release the final wireless-N specification. So......is it guaranteed to be upgradable? (Emphasis mine)
Me: No.
SC: Oh.......
Pardon me while I slip into a vegetative state due to the massive brain damage you just caused.
Besides the obvious, I mean......
Just when I thought I'd recovered from the previous question......
SC: You know, I've been trying to figure this out, maybe you can help me?
Me: Yes?
SC: I've noticed that some of these monitors are squares, and some are rectangles. What's the difference between the two?
Me: Um.....that IS the difference. *elaborates a little about aspect ratios and so on*
SC: Well, why would I want one that's a rectangle?????
Clearly, you don't.
PEBKAC Award
(Camera and Chair in this case)
Non-customer and her mother came in with a camera they did not purchase from us looking for help because the flash wasn't firing.
Despite having never seen this camera before, and not having access to the manual (which they at least should have had) I quickly located the FLASH button and pushed it, then took a picture and the flash fired.
They were both dumbstruck.
It had been set to OFF. I showed them that the button cycled from OFF, to AUTO, to ON.
Come again?
Not sucky, but completely out of left field.
Old Guy: Do you know a good place to buy cheap cigarettes?
Yes, I'm the perfect guy to ask because I work in an office supply store and REEK of cigarette smoke like you.
(Actually, I don't smoke).
Are you arguing with a customer?!
*Siiiiiiiigh* For the 63,152nd time, staples.com DOES NOT LIST IN-STORE AVAILABILITY OF ITEMS!!!!!!!! I don't care how long and hard you want to argue with me about it, it just doesn't. It never has. Probably never will, either.
So this guy was looking for some Pitney-Bowes ink and didn't find it on the shelf. He was very upset because he claimed the website said it was in-stock. I politely told him it did not, which he refused to believe. After a couple rounds going back and forth, he blurted
"Are you arguing with a customer?!!?!"
Only insofar as you are arguing with me, sir.
Then it turned out that the item he wanted was *right* there on the shelf, staring him in the face the whole time. He said he thought it was just a placeholder tag. Apparently blister packs don't look like real product.
Can I get it sooner than soonest?
Guy wants to order a GPS system we don't carry in the store. After looking the item up (which was in itself a challenge since he didn't have a SKU, item name, or even a brand. Just "the one for $269") I see that the soonest it can arrive is 5 business days (which meant Friday the 15th. This was on Friday the 8th).
Remember, this is the SOONEST it will come in.
SC: Is there anyway I can get it faster than that? I need it for Tuesday.
OH NOEZ!!! THE CLOCK!!!
In the past week, we've had not one, but two customers decide that it was easier to pay us $39.99 to program their fax machines rather than try and figure it out themselves. One even had us record the answering machine message for them. Why they'd want a stranger's voice on their answering machine is totally beyond me, but hey, more money for the store.
The second guy (the one who had us record the message) returned the fax machine and demanded a refund of the $39.99 setup charge.
Why?
In the time it took him to get the fax machine home and plugged in after we programmed it, the clock had lost the correct time. Everything else was fine, but he felt that because he had paid for the clock to be set, we should dispatch a tech out to reset the clock for him for no additional charge.
Needless to say, we refused to dispatch a tech for something so trivial unless he was willing to pay for that, so he returned everything.
WTF? STOP CALLING!!!
Morons in Management
Alice, our Ops Manager, is a hardcore Staples lifer. She's been with the company for nearly 20 years. Nothing wrong with that, except that she's practically married to the place. She constantly stays on extra hours when she doesn't really need to (she's salaried, so I have no idea what her incentive is) and always calls in on her days off.
Last week she was on vacation. She called on Friday. I answered the phone.
Alice: Can I talk to Steve?" (the GM)
Me: You just missed him. He left to go to lunch a minute ago.
Alice: Well....is he still there?
Me: No, he LEFT to go to lunch.
Alice: Oh.....
Me: Would you like to talk to Al instead? (MOD)
Alice: No, that's ok. Bye.
Me: OK, bye. *release*
Me: *into dead receiver*: YOU ARE ON VACATION!!!!! STOP CALLING!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even ten minutes later, she called again and asked to speak to Al.
Yes, sales END
SC: Excuse me, is this on rebate? *points to a phone*
Me: Not at the moment.
SC: Well, it was on rebate [by which he meant "on sale"] two weeks ago.
Me: Well, that sale ended.
Which considering the look that flitted across his face before he stammered out an acknowledgement, was a completely alien concept. He must have been thinking of "Everywhere Else" where sales never end and the price just keeps going lower until they pay you to take it away.
I know it says it isn't, but is it?
SC *holding a draft-N wireless router*: It says here *pointing to fine print* that this isn't guaranteed to be upgradable when they release the final wireless-N specification. So......is it guaranteed to be upgradable? (Emphasis mine)
Me: No.
SC: Oh.......
Pardon me while I slip into a vegetative state due to the massive brain damage you just caused.
Besides the obvious, I mean......
Just when I thought I'd recovered from the previous question......
SC: You know, I've been trying to figure this out, maybe you can help me?
Me: Yes?
SC: I've noticed that some of these monitors are squares, and some are rectangles. What's the difference between the two?
Me: Um.....that IS the difference. *elaborates a little about aspect ratios and so on*
SC: Well, why would I want one that's a rectangle?????
Clearly, you don't.
PEBKAC Award
(Camera and Chair in this case)
Non-customer and her mother came in with a camera they did not purchase from us looking for help because the flash wasn't firing.
Despite having never seen this camera before, and not having access to the manual (which they at least should have had) I quickly located the FLASH button and pushed it, then took a picture and the flash fired.
They were both dumbstruck.
It had been set to OFF. I showed them that the button cycled from OFF, to AUTO, to ON.
Come again?
Not sucky, but completely out of left field.
Old Guy: Do you know a good place to buy cheap cigarettes?
Yes, I'm the perfect guy to ask because I work in an office supply store and REEK of cigarette smoke like you.
(Actually, I don't smoke).
Are you arguing with a customer?!
*Siiiiiiiigh* For the 63,152nd time, staples.com DOES NOT LIST IN-STORE AVAILABILITY OF ITEMS!!!!!!!! I don't care how long and hard you want to argue with me about it, it just doesn't. It never has. Probably never will, either.
So this guy was looking for some Pitney-Bowes ink and didn't find it on the shelf. He was very upset because he claimed the website said it was in-stock. I politely told him it did not, which he refused to believe. After a couple rounds going back and forth, he blurted
"Are you arguing with a customer?!!?!"
Only insofar as you are arguing with me, sir.
Then it turned out that the item he wanted was *right* there on the shelf, staring him in the face the whole time. He said he thought it was just a placeholder tag. Apparently blister packs don't look like real product.
Can I get it sooner than soonest?
Guy wants to order a GPS system we don't carry in the store. After looking the item up (which was in itself a challenge since he didn't have a SKU, item name, or even a brand. Just "the one for $269") I see that the soonest it can arrive is 5 business days (which meant Friday the 15th. This was on Friday the 8th).
Remember, this is the SOONEST it will come in.
SC: Is there anyway I can get it faster than that? I need it for Tuesday.
OH NOEZ!!! THE CLOCK!!!
In the past week, we've had not one, but two customers decide that it was easier to pay us $39.99 to program their fax machines rather than try and figure it out themselves. One even had us record the answering machine message for them. Why they'd want a stranger's voice on their answering machine is totally beyond me, but hey, more money for the store.
The second guy (the one who had us record the message) returned the fax machine and demanded a refund of the $39.99 setup charge.
Why?
In the time it took him to get the fax machine home and plugged in after we programmed it, the clock had lost the correct time. Everything else was fine, but he felt that because he had paid for the clock to be set, we should dispatch a tech out to reset the clock for him for no additional charge.
Needless to say, we refused to dispatch a tech for something so trivial unless he was willing to pay for that, so he returned everything.
WTF? STOP CALLING!!!
Morons in Management
Alice, our Ops Manager, is a hardcore Staples lifer. She's been with the company for nearly 20 years. Nothing wrong with that, except that she's practically married to the place. She constantly stays on extra hours when she doesn't really need to (she's salaried, so I have no idea what her incentive is) and always calls in on her days off.
Last week she was on vacation. She called on Friday. I answered the phone.
Alice: Can I talk to Steve?" (the GM)
Me: You just missed him. He left to go to lunch a minute ago.
Alice: Well....is he still there?
Me: No, he LEFT to go to lunch.
Alice: Oh.....
Me: Would you like to talk to Al instead? (MOD)
Alice: No, that's ok. Bye.
Me: OK, bye. *release*
Me: *into dead receiver*: YOU ARE ON VACATION!!!!! STOP CALLING!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even ten minutes later, she called again and asked to speak to Al.
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