More Tales of Pathetica

[Dreamstalker]

Quoth Zoom

Almost at the same time, she says "Oh, and this is a delivery", the bagger leaves for another register, and I run out of places to put something fragile. (WHY put all your fragile stuff first??? And now I can't even bag that shit because I'm out of paper bags!)

SC: Oh, and here's some bags for the delivery.

Um, what? Those deluxe bags (from some other store, too) aren't needed, or even wanted.

I don't quite understand the customers who bring bags but insist on a delivery. Our delivery guy hates customer bags because we can't write the number on them; also, many of them are already ripped/stained/otherwise damaged and the SC will try to blame him.

For some reason, a lot of the baggers at my store will make themselves scarce when a delivery comes up (and the ones that do stick around aren't skilled enough or fast enough to keep up).

Quoth Zoom

After I scan the older Patheticard, the one where they didn't get the new one to save a measly 5 cents off of expensive gas at Expensive Gas Station, an item or so later I get this message:

About 1/4 of my customers on a given day have older cards that do not have the gas points. I seriously hope nobody at Corporate gets the idea to 'encourage upgrade today'...not all states with our stores even do the gas program (I'm not asking someone who lives in one of those states to 'upgrade' to something they will never be able to use).

[lachesis]

Whew! I just got through reading the whole thread and I think that either the people you work for are just plain morons, or they are out to get you. You say you have been working there for over 15 years? What's happened to make them single you out like that?

[Dreamstalker]

Probably because he knows what he's doing, which to some bosses translates as: "He does his job too well, so we need to cut him down a bit."

[Zoom]

I don't think it's because of any boss. Rather that a) their hands are tied following a strict corporate policy, and b) said policy is flawed in favor of punishing the innocent. And in the corporation's hive mind, why should they change it? The shareholders aren't complaining about it. (BTW, our stock has really plummeted in the last few years, virtually wiping out my 401k. I even had to tell them to stop investing any more of MY money.)

Quick Takes

Strange things that happened today, now 35% condensed for easier reading!

I got to work early so I would have a spare few minutes to look over my notes for the AI in my new game I'm coding. However, I had to spend some of them waiting for the desk to give me the stamps I bought the previous evening but the idiot checker forgot to give me. (I forgot what I called him last time I mentioned him here, but it doesn't matter right now. He's the one who admitted to doing drugs and went on handicapped cart races.) I asked the desk if there were any extra stamps left in R1 at shift's end, but they couldn't tell by now. However, at the end of today's shift, when counting down the drawer I saw a note taped to the wall that said to write up said idiot checker at earliest opportunity. Wonder what that was for!

I had a woman who wasn't very good with English, came in with some WICs. She didn't get everything on the list, which is permissible, but I had no bagger to send to get anything, in case she didn't know it was missing. Worse, she signed the WICs with tons of missing stuff not got, and only complained after the WICs had gone through the system. She was confused and upset, but as I attempted to point out, she had to make sure she understood the whole WIC thing at the WIC store, and should have asked them for an interpreter in her language. It was a really sad moment, because she'd tried very hard to get the right stuff, except most of it wasn't on the slips. For example, she took canned pears instead of canned beans. I thought the pears were on the fruit/vegetable WIC, which had a strict $6 limit so she couldn't get them there either. Like I said, really sad.

A few minutes later, I screwed up an order irrevocably, and the only way to give the customer the $5 discount in the paper was if she bought two more items. She only needed to buy ten, but no amount of dickering with the items was giving her the savings, until I rang up two additional items. We couldn't figure out which two were no good, as the removal of two suspects erased the discount. We both gave up and she took two more fruit rolls.

The Suckiest Customer Ever (see last page)? She's now coming in regularly and getting delivery every time. A. was my bagger again this time, but now A. was being sucky towards her and winding her up about the delivery guy not being here yet, causing the whole order to slow down immensely. It was 12 minutes to the 5pm delivery shutoff. Also, as usual, she demanded the white bags with handles, and for some reason A. was refusing to use them in the delivery. Those two should just do a cage match and be done with it.

Because I've had a couple coupon audits (though I think everyone gets those, not just the checkers on parole) I've decided to write the amount on the ones with FREE printed on them. But for the new 5%-10% off anything store coupons, the amount does not show up on the screens! I have to wait until the receipt prints, then look at it carefully until I can decipher the gibberish enough to find the discount amount. The whole thing takes five seconds that the customer has generally missed, audibly. Worse, I can't tell them exactly how much they saved until the order is tended. I can't even void the coupons anymore on our new system!

Today's end of shift was a surprise. I was sure my shift ended at 8:30, but at 8pm sharp I was informed I was a half-hour off, and I had a mad dash to close the register and get everything counted down. I left only ten minutes late, so it went quite well. THIS is the reason why a person should never be scheduled times with similar numbers on adjacent days. Especially when one's mind is preoccupied with getting everything exactly right so as to not be reprimanded.

[Zoom]

Observation

It's always the people with iPods who buy Q-Tips.

Never Look A Gift Card In The Wallet

I actually taught NMD (Newest Mrs. Desk) something today.

I had a lot of overrides today. One of them was because a possible scam artist was trying to buy a $200 gift card with "her" credit card, it didn't go through (surprise), and she wanted it changed to $100.

Price Change button doesn't work on gift cards. Remove Item button doesn't work on gift cards.

I had to press the dreaded VOID button.

We never do voids for anything, since Remove Item works on almost everything, but after several mistakes, I found the button that actually allowed me to void the damned gift card!

NMD was really surprised as she keyed the override ignition. "Yesterday I was trying to take a gift card off, and I couldn't figure out how to void it."

Well, until right that very minute, neither could I.

NMD hung around because the scam artist tried to run her card through for $100 instead, but still no dice and it had to be voided again. She didn't seem to have the slightest clue that this person had a 75% chance of being a scammer.

NMD seems totally clueless about some aspects of our new system, too, though she was supposed to have taken the same training as everyone else. Once she asked me how to remove tax on a WIC order that had already been started. I simply removed all the items very quickly and cashed out. "Wow, I didn't think that would work."

In Search Of... The Missing Link

Not much of an anecdote here. Three ladies came to buy stuff. A had most of the items, B and C had 1 each.

A took her time looking for her Patheticard, during which her friends B and C both became impatient and announced I should ring them up too. A said it was all right, since she had almost gotten the card out, so I rang up B's item on A's order and took the dollar.

Then I got A's card, but upon ringing up C's item she gave the dollar to A. (Sorry, that's not going to confuse me, I'm paid to do this you know.)

Next came A's rummaging through her enormous purse, looking for her Link card. "It's in here somewhere, I know that."

After about ten seconds, she said "Sorry about this," but I replied, "It's all right, nobody's in line anyway."

Immediately a small family gets in line, and A tells them, "Sorry, it's going to be a while until I can find my Link card."

How could she know how long it's going to take to find something that she's not sure where it is?

Anyway, after another minute, B and C had sat down.

It was a really slow day today, with lots of long pauses like this. I had a few multiple-WIC orders that just dragged on and on. I like it, because I don't have to check like the Flash, and also because there are fewer opportunities for the register to gang aft agley.

Still looking.

Now B has come back to the line to ask what's going on. A repeats her dilemma, and I ask, "Have you checked your pockets?" She checks the pockets, and gives B the task of looking through the change purse and wallet. Lots of sundry cards and slips of paper, but no Link card.

The food stamp total came to $14.00, and I've had plenty of overrides as it is by now, so I decide to wait and see.

More minutes tick by. A is still frantically searching through her pockets. B has checked the change purse and wallet thoroughly, and proclaims, "Maybe it's hidden in the papers." I start looking in the papers, while A switches to the bag again. There are dozens of loose pages, slips and all kinds of paper in her bag.

Now C has come back and asked what's up. B starts grabbing the pages and flinging them all over the conveyor belt. A is still searching the bag's nooks and crannies. I have stopped helping them look, because I am busy resisting the sudden urge to laugh.

If this had gone on another five minutes, there would have been ten or more people, looking through a pile of paper that would have done in Robert DeNiro in Brazil. I am bursting a lung trying not to scream laughing.

I think A actually forgot what she was looking for, she was so intent on perusing her endless tree shavings; but C actually suggested I suspend the order, which I was glad to do at this point.

Well. Another override. At least they have all been necessary ones today.

The override wouldn't go through unless I returned the $1.08 to B, either.

Meanwhile, it took another five minutes for all three to remove the paper from the conveyor belt so I could ring up the next order. Also, they went to the Subway to get their lives sorted out, and haven't come back yet, which means even that was a failure, and they'll be buried in a simple ceremony, with their Link card and plenty of paperwork.

Another case closed!

[AmandaLaederich]

Quoth raudf

*leaps for the pun* Because he could have croaked from it!

Now you've done it

[Zoom]

I'm going on three week's vacation, so I won't have any new stories for a while, which means several things:

1. I might actually have time to compose the "Worst Bagger Ever" novel article.

2. As the "Drawer Probation" is allegedly time-based, it should have ended by the time I get back. (Something tells me this will not be the case.)

3. Should this thread autolock, I'll start a new one. Would you prefer it be called "Even More Tales of Pathetica", "Still More Tales of Pathetica" or "Ma and Pa Thetica Back on the Farm"?

4. Fewer David Bowie song parodies.

Resolve All Cliffhangers Now!

A few dangling subplots I haven't touched on in a long while.

•The paved hole near the store was filled up not long after I last posted about it in Thread 1. In fact, I tried to come up with something interesting to write about it, but ennui set in and it caused me to not come back here for two years. I've decided to never post about holes in concrete again. Except for this time, of course.

•The "charity" cups have reappeared in front of the registers last week, and again we were told to ask for donations to the "Hunger Drive". I'm not saying they were fraudulent, but at the Desk the sign says the money goes to one place, and on the cups it mentions a different couple of charitable organizations. Furthermore, one of them is tied to a specific religion, which, not being mine, I have moral qualms about getting donations for. Which means under NO circumstances will I ask. However, I am glad to take the contributions and have no malice towards those predisposed to give.

This time, there have been no threats to write anyone up for not asking. (Probably start on that while I'm on vacation.)

•The "plus-selling" (like they used to say in White Hen Pantry) the "special of the day" (like they used to say in soup kitchens) has returned this week. We were PROMISED to never have to ask people about it, but now they are getting around this by not calling it by the name they used ("Extreme Value Buy"). And we had a shit-load of salad dressing bottles for 88¢. I asked nobody about them either.

After my three weeks off, it'll be too late to complain about them not keeping their promises. But I will.

•I was never on this site long enough to explain the seasonality of how bad it gets at work. The last couple months have been a tremendous amount of pressure on me, and this always comes right before my big fall vacation. Since it has (probably) started, I can relax now, and the stories from when I get back will be less intense.

Just so you know-- it's like this EVERY year.

And this week, nothing of any importance happened to me or my store; the general level of backbreaking labor just increased, and all kinds of extra things were required of me, but nothing out-of-the-ordinary sucky like this site expects.

Well, a couple of new baggers are acting like trolls and bringing down the general level of intelligence of the place, but I'm going to observe them some more in their native habitat before describing their manner of beast.

One More For The Road

The scammer from "Never Look A Gift Card In The Wallet" was back!

Once again, she tried to buy a gift card and pay with a credit card which I suspected wasn't hers. This time it was for $400.

Didn't go through, as expected. Then I had to remember what I did to void out the card, bereft of being able to load this very webpage to find out.

"OK, try again, but just $200."

We got to the override part, and NMD was back. She had no recollection of the woman or this routine.

After the $200 attempt didn't go through and the scammer left, she then asked me, "Why didn't you ask her for her ID?"

I told her that I knew it wasn't going to go through. This was, of course, a lie, but it was better than saying "I was hoping YOU would recognize the woman from last time and kick her out or call the cops on her."

And there was no way in hell I was going to bring that sort of thing up while the scammer was standing right there listening!

If employees can't be empowered to deal with suckiness, we must rely upon those who are, but who get more spineless as they get higher up.

[Zoom]

Giddy Up!

Back at work yesterday. I was taken OFF my own drawer, which means I'm FREE!!! [/MrHumphries]

I was so elated, nothing else that happened seemed bad. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the end.

You know when bad things are happening to you, that time dilates and sometimes you hallucinate? Same thing when it's all good, but from the other side.

The Glitch Is Back

Today, however, was back to abnormalcy.

7am start, with the drawers not out yet, which is unusual if it were any other store. But here, in our early morning serenity, the "trickle" in trickle down economics applies to the volume of customer.

Except... (insert ominous clouds into anecdote... let the hallucination begin!)

I was cleaning registers and hanging around SCO while my co-worker was off doing something else (they always task him with doing things I never hear about). An occasional customer would go right past my register (R1) and into SCO.

Interestingly, one or two SCO reg's were not working, but I put it down to being early. Maybe a firmware update was taking a long time.

Suddenly, Mrs. Desk asked me from thirty feet away, "Zoom, would you ring up something? I'm trying to find out if R1 is working."

Um, OK, bang goes a pack of gum. BEEP! "It rang up all right."

"Try again."

BEEP. BEEP. "It's fine."

"OK, thanks."

Meanwhile, the customer on one of the smaller SCO terminals (R94) finished her order, and I noticed she had somehow bagged her bananas even though they had not rung up. This wasn't so bad, and I don't care if she was genuinely trying to get away with stealing them or just didn't realize they hadn't rung up. I asked to see her receipt and told her she needed to ring them up.

Then CW got back, my signal to reopen on R1. However, he walked away for a second, and the next customer (on R93 this time, one of the bigger ones) was motioning me over.

"What's up?"

"I rang this up-- and--" She motioned to the screen which said it was resetting.

"What the-? Well, this happens sometimes. You can ring it up over here on 94."

CW came back and explained that "they've been going up and down a lot this morning." Already? The store's only been open 90 minutes!

The Last Major Lull of the Day

Nothing to do, so as we just leaned back for a minute, I mentioned to CW, "If your reg's are going to go down this much, I'm gonna be real busy." He grunted.

By then 91, 93, 94 and 95 all were down.

Our major lottery customer came in inquiring what the problem was, but as the machine was still working, and he wasn't buying anything, he and CW still got the chance to chew each other's ears off.

Our complainy-mouthed grumbler (whom I'm about to nickname Gramma Grumble, or Dear Crabby or something like that) was caught in the ONLY SCO. Because she absolutely HATES me and refuses to go in my line (nobody in my line either). But she needed CW to stop talking to Mr. Lottery and press the approval button. Too bad!

No Sale!

Then all Gehenna broke loose.

All five SCOs were down. After two more orders, R1 bit the dust as well with an amusing Windows XP "This application needs to close" window which we couldn't click on because, um, they didn't provide our registers with mouse devices.

So I:
1. Had to reset the register, which can only be done by:
A. Going to the other side of the register.
B. Pulling loose and then off a side panel, revealing filthy computer components. (For those of you who have ever seen a habitual smoker's computer, this is much, much worse.)
C. Pressing and holding the OFF button and waiting for it to shut down.

I thought I had pressed it long enough, but what happened instead of a quick shutdown was a "This window is trying to shut down..." window, which I also couldn't click on. So, repeat step C.

D. Then, press it AGAIN to turn it back on.

Meanwhile, however, I had to go to R2 and try that out.

2. Sign onto the next register and-- Oh, I couldn't do that either, it still had me as signed onto R1 even though it was OFF. Which precipitated calling for another checker# and password.
3. ???
4. Profit! (I guess #3 was "Ring up groceries".)

Now, since R2 was no problem, and R1 had reset, I made the mistake of signing off and going back on R1 (and I'm glad for this level of freedom again-- if I was still on drawer probation they would have made me do bagging or something!), and sure enough, within another fifteen minutes the exact same crash happened.

Well. back to R2 again.

Now it was starting to get crowded. Mrs. Desk came out-- I noticed she was wearing a neck brace, wonder why? Maybe she had to go to court that afternoon and bear false witness against her neighbors or something.

She made CW help a couple of SCs that were complaining about the SCO not working properly (still intermittent at the time). The only recourse was to re-ring the orders on R1. I kept telling him, "It's going to go down on you, ANY MINUTE now! *big grin*"

*Um, I don't know why this footnote is here.

Anyway, he got some SC's complaints resolved, and I think it went down while he was on the last one. I was so busy that I couldn't pay attention to how badly things were going for him. (Too bad.)

After that D. arrived. She went back and forth between bagging for me, and working R3, which had no problem. But after that, I stayed on R2 while everyone else went on and off R3 or R4 as willy-nilly dictates.

Then it got worse. SCOs stopped working entirely. R2 went down, and I was forced to go back to R1, which somehow didn't go down. I had a very long line of angry customers. Me, D, Kim and Mrs. Desk were all checking as much and as fast as we could until I got off work.

Match Results

Apparently there was some sort of bad firmware update, but there seemed to be no way to correct it. ALL of the Pathetica stores were affected.

When R2 went down and I was forced to relocate to R1, Mrs. Desk told me that a workaround was to not scan the Patheticard until the end of the order. Nice! Because that was the last thing I just scanned on the very order in which R2 went down.

Bad Coding: 3
Executive Mismanagement: 5
Checkers: 0
Computers Without Mouse Devices: Disqualified. Someone dropped a rosin bag in all that filth.*

*Baseball reference, sorry.

Don't Press My Buttons!

Once again they had us going so fast, that my new vest got caught on the bag holder handle, and it tore my button off. That's the second button in... well, it was six or seven weeks, but seriously! They shouldn't have given us a Highlander vest! (i.e. There can be only one).

The vest is so accident-prone, that by the end of 2012 the Mayan prophecy will be fulfilled on its ass.

Enjoi You're Cayke

Once again ruthless spelling gremlins have gotten into the cake batter. Apparently it's spelled Haloween now.

This, of course, still doesn't rank up there with when they wished customers a Happy Birxday.

The misspellings will continue until more ale improves.

[mharbourgirl]

Quoth Zoom

Besides the usual items, I saw...

...a bunch of Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Were they left over from Easter? (Blecch.) Or are they out early for Halloween?

They weren't orange and black, so I dubbed them Labor Day Eggs and moved on.

Nah, those are the 'new' Hallowe'en eggs. Screme Eggs, they're called, 'cause the white goop is green. They've even got a series of TV commercials along the lines of stop-action zombie eggs hunting down and gooshing the regular eggs, which I think is hilarious, but I'm watching way too much TV right now while I'm job-hunting.