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So who has tried to scalp themselves while making the bed? (other odd house injuries)

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  • #46
    Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
    Been there, done that with the pinched nerve - hurts like Hell.
    <snip> Then there was the time I was getting clothes out of the dryer and I threw my back out . . . never sneeze while you're bent over trying to pick up stuff that's fallen out of your arms, that does it to me every time. Stayed partially locked up for almost 2 days.
    This kind of stuff happens to me frequently now. My spine is only slightly crooked, but it causes sooo many problems. I had that worse pinched nerve in February, and that lasted 2 months, resistant to opiates at that, and right when it was healed someone ran her car into mine and it was pain all over again. But I have self-inflicted accidental injuries, too. I think I have posted before that when I was 11 I was dancing on a chair, which tipped over and caused me a broken arm. I fancied myself a contestant on Soul Train, I think.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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    • #47
      I've got scars from the top of my head to the tops of my feet. AFAIK I have no scars on the bottoms of my feet (yet.)
      There I was taking a nice leisurely stroll through this kinda thick wooded area with some buddies looking a bunch of guys all called "Charlie." All of the sudden "BLOOOOOWWIE". It took a while to get over that one.
      Limiting this to around the house when my older kids were small I was decorating the house for Christmas under the direction of my wife. I was making dozens of trips up and down the ladder and my knees were screaming. So instead of climbing the ladder I could stand on a wooden box in the bed of my truck, one step up one step down. As I was finishing up my wife said she was cold and got in the truck (there was a cold wind blowing) I was up on the box, she tried to start the truck but it has a starter lockout in that you have to press the clutch peddle all the way to the floor. She pushes the clutch peddle, the truck rolls forward, I loose my balance fall off the box onto the top of the retaining wall and then off it (12 feet down) to the lower concrete drive-way. Broke my right shoulder and other assorted bones and what not. Laid up for two months nearly went broke. The next year when it came to decorate the wife asked me what we were going to do and I said I'm going to set on the couch and I don't care what you do, I can't afford to get tossed around again. From that time on she and kids have done all the decorating.
      When my Hereford bull was about 2 years old I had him put up in the doctor lot waiting for the vet to look at him. This old battle-axe of a neighbor had this mean little feist that thought it was a lot bigger than it was. It was aggravating the bull and the bull was trying to stomp it. I was in he lot trying to grab the dog before it got hurt but the bull spun around knocked me down. Before I could move out of the way the dog bit me and bull stepped on me breaking my left hip. I thought the heck with this I pulled out my pistol and waited until the bull was clear and shot the dog. The bull stomped the dog into....well it wasn't pretty. So there I lay in a small dirt lot in cow poo and mud and blood with a pissed off bull. I couldn't get up and all I could do was crawl a little. Being rather thick and the wire low to the ground I could only get under in one place and it was away from the house and standing in gooy mud. So to shorten this up, I get out of the lot and over the course of two hours crawl to the house and all my yelling for help doesn't get me any attention. So I throw my pocket knife at the back door and it broke the window which got my wife's attention. One ambulance ride and 3 months later I'm back on my feet.
      I've also been shot 6 times and stabbed and cut too many times to count.
      Did I mention my nickname is Lucky???
      Bow down before me for I am ROOT

      Preserving precious bodily fluids sine 1952

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      • #48
        Let's see, there are so many incidents as I am a klutz, as is my brother and father. I have a scar just below the knuckle of my thumb from getting my hand caught in the steering wheel of the car I was driving. Long story and really hard to explain.

        Very, very badly sprained my ankle walking. As far as my family and I can tell there was nothing for me to fall over. I was walking then I was on the ground in severe pain. Had 3 physiotherapists, 2 orthopedic surgeons and one GP tell me it was the worst sprain they had ever seen. Took a couple of days short of 10 months to get the all clear, plus I can now sense weather change.

        I badly strained my knee swimming. You know how swimming is supposed to be low-impact, well I now have a permanently bad knee from swimming.

        I am constantly finding large deep purple bruises all over my body with no knowledge of how I got them. The most recent one was on my breast and I didn't notice until someone pointed out it was visible with the top I had on.

        I think have sprained and strained every muscle group in my body, except for my triceps, and yet the only bone broken is my big toe on my right foot, which I have broken twice. The first time was stepping from the sunken lounge into the dining room. Didn't step high enough and caught my foot. Can't remember when I broke it the second time, but it was another klutz attack.

        My most recent injury was when I was trying to do an oil change on my car. I have done many oil changes on all the cars I have owned, and this was the 4th time on my current car. For some strange reason the sump plug was a bit tight, so had to put a lot of strength in to it. There isn't much room under my car and I don't have stands so I was having trouble getting leverage to turn the plug. Tried for about 30 minutes, then gave up for the day. Tried again the next day, confirming that yes I was turning it the correct way, but still nothing. Decided that I could put the oil change off for a while and left it. Later that day, both my forearms and biceps were really sore (I'm right handed but ambidextrous so tried using both hands to turn the plug), and by that night I was in a lot of pain. Took a couple of weeks before they started to feel normal again.

        Then there was the time that I opened the shower door and almost knocked myself out. Yes, I actually walked into a door. Luckily my family believed me.

        I have a scar on my leg from shaving, a nice curved one on my forearm from a hanging sign from my work as a nightfiller, two on the back of my hand from who knows where, and one on my big toe from the first break. I tend to get keloid scars so it doesn't take much to leave a permanent mark. And I usually find mystery bruises that look like some major injury has occurred, but I have no idea how it happened.

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        • #49
          Ah hot glue guns. What havoc have they not created for the unlucky. I managed to glue my butt to a concrete floor when attempting to repair some shoes.

          Superglue is the sneaky glue. Unlike hot glue gun you can't tell you've glued a no no until it's too late. Apart from the standard gluing of fingers together I managed to really bling my nipple and give myself an indirect vajazzle when I was trying to glue rhinestones to a handbag .

          Don't glue stuff in the nude people, especially if you're a clumsy dimbulb like me.

          OH! Almost forgot! My brother managed to glue a packet of little toy green army soldiers to my aunt's dog during one fine unsupervised 20 minutes. Mum was torn between yelling at the little monster or laughing her ass off. The dog was fine, he was a maltese cross and was due for a haircut anyway.

          One thing I will NEVER have in my house again are those ceramic doorknobs. At my last house I was in the bathroom and the knob exploded in my hands slicing it badly. Death by a thousand papercuts. I shredded a t shirt trying to open the door with the remaing ceramic stem sticking out and removed all those horrible doorknobs ASAP. Brass or wood doorknobs from then on.

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          • #50
            I managed to cut myself shaving with an electric razor. The foil was a bit old, and had cracked between 2 of the holes, leaving a sharp end sticking out.

            Not at home, but at work (before I started driving trucks), I cut my thumb changing a card on a computer. Turns out the case had a "maneater" on it.
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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