Say it loud, say it proud...

[RealUnimportant]

...but try to say it ALL, eh?

Due to the unimaginative early Briton's tendency to call places after distinguishing features in the local tongue, there are a lot of similar sounding but widely separated destinations on the UK rail network. Ask for Gillingham or Ashford and you could be heading up to 200 miles in the wrong direction if we choose poorly. Sorry, where? Witham, Witton, or Whitton?

And yes, the English language has some eccentricities, like Edinburgh, Slough, etc. not to mention Welsh stations such as Llanfairpwll... You know the one (that's actually the whole designation in the ticket system, in case you wondered how they fit 46 letter words onto our tiny cards.)

Wherever you're going, the best way to start is to say the name as best you can. Sound it out, omit nothing. We can muddle through together!

...

So why this rant today? Because some people just can't be bothered to even try, and my first one today has left me worried for the safety of others.

If you're a medical professional, accurate communication is kinda bloody important. So how the hell do you manage to read "Haywards Heath" and come out with "Hethwig"?!

[bunrotha]

...but try to say it ALL, eh?

If you're a medical professional, accurate communication is kinda bloody important. So how the hell do you manage to read "Haywards Heath" and come out with "Hethwig"?!

I reckon it's advanced doctor training, the verbal equivalent of the famously illegible scrawl on prescriptions.

[retro]

I used to work for the rail enquiries number many years ago and I heard all sorts of variations of station names. I'm sure you've come across Edenberg (Edinburgh), Loogerburger (Loughborough), Glow-cesster (Gloucester), Rile (Rhyl).

But my favourite was a guy with a US Deep South accent who called up to ask for train times to a place in North Wales. "Which station?" I asked quite innocently.

"Oh you want me to say it, do you?"

Realising which one he meant, I said, "Ah I think I can guess. It's..."

He interrupted to say, "Oh alright then. It's Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantisilio gogogoch. Impressed?"

Sufficed to say he reeled it off flawlessly! I was very impressed!

[Kit-Ginevra]

Ah I've had that before with Torre and Torquay or Exeter and Exton.
Occasionally,if it's somewhere obscure they haven't heard of,they'll try and suggest somewhere different-I mean Portsmouth Arms,not Portsmouth-there's a big difference between them.
Or if it's really unusual,they'll just be baffled-every time I ask for a return to the Wishing Well,the look I get is priceless

[retro]

"Can you tell me times of trains to Newport?"

My response was always "Which one?"

[EricKei]

"Oh alright then. It's Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantisilio gogogoch. Impressed?"

OK, now I'm curious. How DO you say that, and (roughly) where is it? (Wales, I presume)

I reckon it's advanced doctor training, the verbal equivalent of the famously illegible scrawl on prescriptions.

Ya mean, like this?

[retro]

OK, now I'm curious. How DO you say that, and (roughly) where is it? (Wales, I presume)

Correct. It's a small village on the Welsh island of Anglesey. The name has been replaced with the easier to say Llanfairpwll, or Llanfair PG. However learning the name has become a bit of a Welsh challenge so there's still signs up there with the full name.

Instructions on how to say it are here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwll

[Argabarga]

I'm surprised we don't get more motorclub misdirections, in a similar vein, being as there's plenty of similar, if not duplicate, names for towns all across the country. But the system for sorting it out is surprisingly bulletproof.

In just my county alone, there's both a Lewistown and a Lewisburg, yet, we've never been sent to one when the other was intended.

Considering the deep German heritage, and how many dozens of -burgs there are across the State, that's impressive.

There's also a few French names around here (Bellefonte, DuBois) that let you sort out who's local and who isn't. The locals get it "wrong" and do it phonetically, while the out-of-towners pronounce it "right".

[Sapphire Silk]

Places with Native American names are just as bad.

Consider Wicomico County, MD. Many people new to the area pronounce is Wee Ko Mee Ko. It's pronounced Why Com I Co.

Just for added interest, Maryland is the only state with two rivers with the same name . . . the Wicomico River in Southern Maryland on the Western Shore, and the Wicomico River on the Eastern Shore that runs through Salisbury . . . that everyone wants to pronounce like the steak. Saulsbury not Sal's berry, folks!

[fireheart]

For the record, the longest placename in the world comes in at 85 letters. Their short forms are at 57 letters and a nice round 7 letters. It also has long forms at 92 and 105 letters respectively.

The name? Taumata*whakatangihanga*koauau*o*tamatea*turi*puka kapiki*maunga*horo*nuku*pokai*whenua*kitanatahu.

This is a place in New Zealand and apparently translates to a man with big knees playing his nose flute to his loved one. The 105-letter version is slightly more romantic, although has references to a slit penis.

And if you listen to the recording, I swear you can hear something that sounds like a "fuck" thrown in there somewhere. http://www.korero.maori.nz/sound/pla...-p-w-k-t-t.mp3

[Racket_Man]

The other members here in Cheeseheadland can confirm that at least half of the town and area names in our state (and some of the surrounding states) are Native American names or words or weird pronunciations of say German/Norweigen/Polish/etc. names or words.

I believe that all news persons who come in from out of state are required to spend at least a couple of weeks learning how to pronounce the local/state town names.

[AccountingDrone]

We live near Ver-sails, spelled Versailles. I also grew up near Chi-lie and Aaah-von [not Ay-von] and the local Navy base here is on the Thhhhames River, not the Tems. *We* didn't have some German guy that couldn't speak proper English screwing with our place names.

[notalwaysright]

Well these aren't super hard, but slightly interesting. We also have many Native American names.

People from out of state can't pronounce Puyallup, but if they listen to commercials for the fair they get it pretty fast. There is also a Vancouver, Washington; some people think the only Vancouver is British Columbia. And there is a town called Des Moines where you say the last S. Last, Tsawwassen, which is a small town near Vancouver BC. It's the only way to get to Point Roberts, which is a wonderfully strange tiny peninsula which is completely disconnected from the US. That's right, the only way to or from is by boat, or drive all the way around through Canada.

[Shannarah]

with the title - I was excited, (thought it was news about Nazareth (band), lol

[RealUnimportant]

I'm surprised we've not had any Kiwis chiming in. IIRC, place names over there with WH in them get pronounced more like PH or F, so Whangarei is actually Fangarei!

Sorry Shannarah, never heard of them