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  • Is there a nice way to ask.....

    .....relatives to either not bring their kids over when they're sick, or to least let my mom and I know about whatever they've got?

    Reason I bring this up is because I've had a really bad cold/laryngitis issue over the past week, and probably got it from one of my brother's kids (his wife's also now got it)

    And I'm not trying to come off sounding bitchy, but I don't get paid sick leave at work, and because I've had the breathing ability of Darth Vader lately, constantly coughing gets frustrating.

  • #2
    Well... I'm not nice about it. I just ask, 'hey, you guys sick? Because I'm on notice here'. No one's taken offense, but they know all about the martian death flu...

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    • #3
      It is not nice to bring your kids over when they are sick, so you don't have to be nice either. Turn about is fair play.

      "I don't get paid sick leave. I can't afford to catch what they have."
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      • #4
        Not trying to get off topic, but thinking about this reminded me of something which happened when I was in 5th grade....I'll call the family in question "The Waltons".

        I think it was at Thanksgiving, relatives who'd been invited to dinner showed up and said "We think our daughter Sally might have the chicken pox, so we're just going to have her stay in the car." Mrs. Walton's response was "Oh no, you can't do that.....bring Sally on in!"

        Turned out, "Sally" did have chicken pox, the Waltons had about eight kids in the family, and because it was a small town, it eventually went through the school. (although I think was April before my siblings and I got it)

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        • #5
          Quoth KellyHabersham View Post
          I think it was at Thanksgiving, relatives who'd been invited to dinner showed up and said "We think our daughter Sally might have the chicken pox, so we're just going to have her stay in the car."
          What kind of parent leaves their sick kid in the car while they go eat a holiday dinner? Stay the hell home with your kid!

          When I was around 26 or 27, my brother and I were both sick with colds on Christmas. We spent the day camped out in the living room (he had the couch, I had the loveseat), watching TV (alternating between 24 hours of A Christmas Story, a Trading Spaces marathon, and naps), and my parents stayed home with us and made dinner instead of going to my uncle's as planned. And we were perfectly capable of staying home alone and taking care of ourselves!
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          • #6
            I've been sick over Christmas. By that time in my life, there was only my aunt, and I think my dad was still alive but he was living with the aunt (his sister). I stayed home. They were both elderly and I didn't want to give them the creeping crud.

            I would just be honest about it: "Please don't come if someone in the family is sick, I can't afford to take time off of work. We'll get together another time."
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #7
              Quoth KellyHabersham View Post
              I think it was at Thanksgiving, relatives who'd been invited to dinner showed up and said "We think our daughter Sally might have the chicken pox, so we're just going to have her stay in the car." Mrs. Walton's response was "Oh no, you can't do that.....bring Sally on in!"
              Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
              What kind of parent leaves their sick kid in the car while they go eat a holiday dinner? Stay the hell home with your kid!
              That was my immediate reaction, too. Even if the weather was decent, that's still a rotten thing to do to the kid! "No, you can't stay home in a comfortable bed, we're going to drag you off to someone else's house, but then leave you in the car by yourself while the FAMILY is eating and socializing in comfort." GRRRRRR!!!!
              "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

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              • #8
                What kind of parent leaves any kid in the car while they go to have a dinner?

                As for the nice way to ask your family not to bring sick kids to your place (without warning, if you prefer that variant):

                '$Parent, it seems that you and $Spouse have developed really strong immune systems. That's great. But Mum and I haven't, and when you bring the kids over when they're sick, we get what they have. So please don't.' (Or please give us warning.)

                That's all you need to say, and the first sentence or two makes it kind of a compliment, too.


                In addition, buy a packet of disposable face masks. Wear the masks, and distribute them to the sick people as well. Explain how wearing the mask reduces their spreading particulate matter (sneezes, coughs, etc) all over your home, and thus makes it less likely that you'll catch it.
                Particularly with kids, who sneeze and cough without doing so into their shoulder or elbow.

                The masks DO make a difference, there's both researched and anecdotal evidence for it. And if said family are stubborn enough and/or uncaring enough to bring sick kids despite being asked not to, this is proof that you're serious - and might actually drive the lesson home.

                (Failing that, take Anders' advice and shoot lightning at them.)
                Last edited by Seshat; 11-30-2015, 03:33 PM.
                Seshat's self-help guide:
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                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  I used to get left in the car for a variety of reasons. Usually because mom didn't feel like "dealing with" me, so I'd get hauled along and wait in the car.

                  I remember one time getting dressed for church, and then mom having a fit on the way there so for my "punishment" I was left alone in the car in the church parking lot with a children's bible. For 4 hours.
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                  • #10
                    I halfway suspect that "Mrs. Walton" was thinking, "Impromptu chicken pox party!"....Granted, she may also have been thinking "Leaving the kid out there is both cruel and illegal, you inconsiderate moron -- Why did you bring her at all instead of arranging for her care or staying home with her yourself?!?" but, who knows? >_<
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