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This is a cut and paste from a thread I started in another smack-talking forum just over a year back when I was pretty new on the job. I apologize in advance for a few F-words.
OK, so far, after about a month and a half work, i have been:
1. Asked for how many years i've been employed, cause of my "professional attitude".
2. Asked how recently I was employed, cause i really sounded like a n00b (some guy who didnt like that i said "well, its either the State postal service or City Mail delivering the mail at your house, let me check your post code out --- its City Mail" when he asked who delivered mail at his house. Somehow i should have magically known where he lived... he proceeded to talk to my boss for 15 minutes as well.)
3. Told that the customer would gladly pay the bill, and then take a shit in a box and mail it to us, cause thats what he thought about our company (which isnt really the power company at all, but a call center which is dealing with the outsourced customer service).
4. Yelled at for not finding the bills of a person who had the electrical costs included in her rent. "So, could i get an old bill number instead, then i'll see all other bills as well" "You should be able to find it with my social security number!" "But, you arent the person who's name is on the contract is it?" "No" "So i need an old bill number, or a customer number" "WHAT!? YOU MEAN YOU CANT FIND IT?" "No, not with the information you so far have provided" "YOU ARE USELESS! YOUR COMPANY SUCKS! I WILL CHANGE POWER COMPANY" *click*
...as if: 1. I care what the hell power company you use 2. I dont like it when stupid people just hang up on me instead of proceeding to ask more stupid questions.
5. About three hundred gazillion times been forced to clarify that prizes on the bill are with VAT -INCLUDED-, which is obvious to pretty much anyone possesing IQ larger than their shoe size. People will get indignated, run to the phone, sit there and wait for ten minutes in line, and not ever does the thought of looking at the bill cross their minds. Cause something is wrong and hell shall break lose! They have been overcharging me! Bold headlines in the newspapers about the evil power company! ...... "Including VAT you say..... oh yeah its right there" "FUCK YEAH ITS RIGHT THERE, THANKS FOR CALLING, HAVE A NICE DAY ......... FUCKHEAD".
6. Been drooling constantly over about 90% of the female employees.
7. Learnt to deal with people saying "i only use one lamp and cook once a month bla bla bla i never use this much power there must be something wrong my neighbors bla bla bla" "WE WOULD LOVE TO SEND SOMEONE TO CHECK ON YOUR METER!" "Really?" "SURE THING. I MEAN, IF IT TURNS OUT NOTHING IS WRONG, -YOU- HAVE TO PAY THE GUY WHO HAD TO GO OUT THERE. USUALLY ENDS UP AT ABOUT 250 DOLLARS! " "WHAT?!" "Do you seriously think we could go out to every single of our million customers every time someone thinks that something is wrong with their meter, a problem with actual incidents countable on one hand over several years? Do you still think there is something seriously wrong with your meter i shall gladly patch you through to the right department!" "Umm no thanks" "So why did you really call again? What can i help you with?" "Umm nothing really thanks bye" "okiktxhbyby, and remeber, this call helps pay my rent, and it made YOU feel stupid. Have a nice day!"
8. Creatively manipulating the agent line (we get put in a line via computer automation, and whoever is first in line (i.e. has been available the longest time) gets the call) so that i can go 20 minutes without ever recieving a call in dull times.
9. Recieved 11 calls in english and handled them just as well as any swedish call.
10. Helped out with 20 or so calls in english that other agents were too sucky to deal with.
11. Found three serious system errors concerning auto payments, deleting bills that dont get deleted (so people are told a certain bill is removed and then recieve a payment reminder for it) and the last, my favourite, which caused the system to automatically pay back thousands of dollars to customers instead of sending bills on those amounts...
And here's a little elaboration on point number three:
That entire call was totally hilarious.
It started out pretty much the same way any call does, really...
"Hello, i'm a customer with X.." (You actually managed to dig up the number to the correct company. Gratulations, I give you that one..)
"...and I have recieved a bill from you" (So thats why you pressed "4" for "Questions about your bill"? It seems unorthodox to me!
)
"And I dont quite understand it" (I thought you called the "Help with bills" number cause the bill was crystal clear to you.. get to the point!)
"What does "check up bill" mean?"
..and this is were i cut in.
"It means, you just recieved a check up bill"
"What are those"
"It means we got a reading on your meter, in this case, the fourteenth of may, so we can see how much you consumed since last time. Then we compare that to how much we had calculated you'd consume. We had calculated 3500 kWh since last year in may, and it turns out you used 5000 during this year. Thats 1500 kWh that you've used, but didnt pay for, and thats whats this bill is about."
"What the hell! You cant just guess!"
"Oh, we can alright. What do you suggest we do? Send people to read our 1.2 million meters once a month? We estimate your consumption, same as everybody elses, based on how much was used last year."
"But, its like, you go to a restaurant, and then a week later, they show up at your door, and say "you got a cup of rice too much! You need to pay!""
"No, not really. Its more like, you go to a restaurant, you pay according to how fat you are, and when you leave, they measure how much you gained in weight. So a fat person pays three dollars and eats rice for 2.50, he gets .50 back when he leaves. If a really skinny person pays one dollar and eats rice that costs four dollars, he has to pay 3 dollars before he is allowed to leave."
"Oh i get it..... but it still sucks! I'll pay this bill with a big smile on my face, and then i'll take a dump in a box and mail it to you, cause thats what i think of your company!"
"Works the same way with any power company, but i'm looking forward to it! Have a nice day!" (they always get pissed if you are cheery when they are not quite as much cheery)
"*click*"
OK, so far, after about a month and a half work, i have been:
1. Asked for how many years i've been employed, cause of my "professional attitude".
2. Asked how recently I was employed, cause i really sounded like a n00b (some guy who didnt like that i said "well, its either the State postal service or City Mail delivering the mail at your house, let me check your post code out --- its City Mail" when he asked who delivered mail at his house. Somehow i should have magically known where he lived... he proceeded to talk to my boss for 15 minutes as well.)
3. Told that the customer would gladly pay the bill, and then take a shit in a box and mail it to us, cause thats what he thought about our company (which isnt really the power company at all, but a call center which is dealing with the outsourced customer service).
4. Yelled at for not finding the bills of a person who had the electrical costs included in her rent. "So, could i get an old bill number instead, then i'll see all other bills as well" "You should be able to find it with my social security number!" "But, you arent the person who's name is on the contract is it?" "No" "So i need an old bill number, or a customer number" "WHAT!? YOU MEAN YOU CANT FIND IT?" "No, not with the information you so far have provided" "YOU ARE USELESS! YOUR COMPANY SUCKS! I WILL CHANGE POWER COMPANY" *click*
...as if: 1. I care what the hell power company you use 2. I dont like it when stupid people just hang up on me instead of proceeding to ask more stupid questions.
5. About three hundred gazillion times been forced to clarify that prizes on the bill are with VAT -INCLUDED-, which is obvious to pretty much anyone possesing IQ larger than their shoe size. People will get indignated, run to the phone, sit there and wait for ten minutes in line, and not ever does the thought of looking at the bill cross their minds. Cause something is wrong and hell shall break lose! They have been overcharging me! Bold headlines in the newspapers about the evil power company! ...... "Including VAT you say..... oh yeah its right there" "FUCK YEAH ITS RIGHT THERE, THANKS FOR CALLING, HAVE A NICE DAY ......... FUCKHEAD".
6. Been drooling constantly over about 90% of the female employees.
7. Learnt to deal with people saying "i only use one lamp and cook once a month bla bla bla i never use this much power there must be something wrong my neighbors bla bla bla" "WE WOULD LOVE TO SEND SOMEONE TO CHECK ON YOUR METER!" "Really?" "SURE THING. I MEAN, IF IT TURNS OUT NOTHING IS WRONG, -YOU- HAVE TO PAY THE GUY WHO HAD TO GO OUT THERE. USUALLY ENDS UP AT ABOUT 250 DOLLARS! " "WHAT?!" "Do you seriously think we could go out to every single of our million customers every time someone thinks that something is wrong with their meter, a problem with actual incidents countable on one hand over several years? Do you still think there is something seriously wrong with your meter i shall gladly patch you through to the right department!" "Umm no thanks" "So why did you really call again? What can i help you with?" "Umm nothing really thanks bye" "okiktxhbyby, and remeber, this call helps pay my rent, and it made YOU feel stupid. Have a nice day!"
8. Creatively manipulating the agent line (we get put in a line via computer automation, and whoever is first in line (i.e. has been available the longest time) gets the call) so that i can go 20 minutes without ever recieving a call in dull times.
9. Recieved 11 calls in english and handled them just as well as any swedish call.
10. Helped out with 20 or so calls in english that other agents were too sucky to deal with.
11. Found three serious system errors concerning auto payments, deleting bills that dont get deleted (so people are told a certain bill is removed and then recieve a payment reminder for it) and the last, my favourite, which caused the system to automatically pay back thousands of dollars to customers instead of sending bills on those amounts...
And here's a little elaboration on point number three:
That entire call was totally hilarious.
It started out pretty much the same way any call does, really...
"Hello, i'm a customer with X.." (You actually managed to dig up the number to the correct company. Gratulations, I give you that one..)
"...and I have recieved a bill from you" (So thats why you pressed "4" for "Questions about your bill"? It seems unorthodox to me!
) "And I dont quite understand it" (I thought you called the "Help with bills" number cause the bill was crystal clear to you.. get to the point!)
"What does "check up bill" mean?"
..and this is were i cut in.
"It means, you just recieved a check up bill"
"What are those"
"It means we got a reading on your meter, in this case, the fourteenth of may, so we can see how much you consumed since last time. Then we compare that to how much we had calculated you'd consume. We had calculated 3500 kWh since last year in may, and it turns out you used 5000 during this year. Thats 1500 kWh that you've used, but didnt pay for, and thats whats this bill is about."
"What the hell! You cant just guess!"
"Oh, we can alright. What do you suggest we do? Send people to read our 1.2 million meters once a month? We estimate your consumption, same as everybody elses, based on how much was used last year."
"But, its like, you go to a restaurant, and then a week later, they show up at your door, and say "you got a cup of rice too much! You need to pay!""
"No, not really. Its more like, you go to a restaurant, you pay according to how fat you are, and when you leave, they measure how much you gained in weight. So a fat person pays three dollars and eats rice for 2.50, he gets .50 back when he leaves. If a really skinny person pays one dollar and eats rice that costs four dollars, he has to pay 3 dollars before he is allowed to leave."
"Oh i get it..... but it still sucks! I'll pay this bill with a big smile on my face, and then i'll take a dump in a box and mail it to you, cause thats what i think of your company!"
"Works the same way with any power company, but i'm looking forward to it! Have a nice day!" (they always get pissed if you are cheery when they are not quite as much cheery)
"*click*"
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