Ultra Long Stalker Story

[Sliceanddice]

i loved it when i got bullied and i got physically hurt no one cared but i slaped a girl riding my ass with the insults, then they pay attention. To them... Not me... my dad threatened to sue them. That was the principals last year... he has worked their his whole career, and wasnt up for retirement, he was only 55... still got bullied but that little vistory ruled...

[Tigress]

I'm going to echo what everyone else said on this board: If management had waited until he did something "really bad", you could have been seriously hurt, if not dead. True, the guy could have just been a harmless drifter, but you shouldn't have to take that chance.

If it was me, I would have told the guy to leave myself if management refused to do anything. And if the guy refused to leave, screw it. I'm calling the police. And if management wanted to give me flack for it, I'd simply explain what three little words like "unsafe working conditions" would mean for them and the company.

[Customer Beating Robot]

I understand your experience and I do sympathize, I really do. I have been around creeps like that before, and it is very hard to deal with. However, I have always despised the typical "you are the enemy" attitude in these situations. Obviously the man is mentally ill, and has problems. He obviously needs some help or he will never get better. It certainly isn't your place to fix him up, but what was with the manager calling her b/f over? Are you guys more concerned with intimidating this person because you just don't like him versus contacting the proper authorities? Certainly the police should have been called. They could easily determine the man is mentall ill, and a judge could mandate treatment. At the very least, they would have done a psych evaluation to determine exactly what was wrong.

Would you have the same attitude toward this person if they were physically ill? Would you tell someone with a stab wound to get out and have your b/f threaten to beat them up? I certainly wouldn't hope so. I don't like how people in these situtations try to turn it into a "us versus them" type of situation. I don't mean to attack you, I just wish people would have more concern for their fellow man. I am not saying the man did nothing wrong or that he wasn't seriously a creep. I am sure he was, which is all the more reason someone needs to help him.

[yomiko]

Where is this beating? I got the impression that L called her boyfriend for security, i.e. to make sure she didn't get left alone with the stalker. Did I miss something?

[Andara Bledin]

It certainly isn't your place to fix him up, but what was with the manager calling her b/f over?

That's an easy one: They were scared he might be dangerous and the boyfriend was called as protection, not intimidation. And it was the other clerk, L, that called her boyfriend, not the manager. The manager was in the manager's office, with Goddess, not actually dealing with the guy until later.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

It certainly isn't your place to fix him up, but what was with the manager calling her b/f over? Are you guys more concerned with intimidating this person because you just don't like him versus contacting the proper authorities?

His mental problems are not the responsibility of the store and I imagine the b/f was called because they were afraid of this man. It has nothing to do with not liking the guy. The guy was creepy and being stalkerish. Whether its because he's mentally ill or just weird doesn't matter. If you feel like a threat to me or my coworker's safety it doesn't matter what the reason is. You're still a threat. Especially if its stalker/obessive like behaviour because god knows how or where that will escalate. Its a completely different category of fear then just being mugged or something.

The cops often can't do much about stalking or the borderline mentally ill. You have to be *really* whacked out to have treatment forced on you. Long as you're lucid they'll let you go as you please long as you take your meds or come talk to someone about Jesus being your daddy once a week. Unfortunately, its not like you can call the cops and they'll come whisk this guy away to some magic heal all institute till he's all better. In fact I'm sure the cops already know this guy and had to pick him up a number of times already. But they keep having to let him go for lack of any law or resources that let them do something with him.

Yes, the mentally ill are deserving of help and sympathy but you don't even know why this guy is off his crock. Was he born that way or was it heavy drug use? Hell, was he even mentally ill or was he just currently enjoying heavy drug use? You don't know. You're just making a snap judgment from a forum post.

Considering the guy could potentially be MORE dangerous if he was mentally ill or coked up. He may not know right from wrong. Heck, he may think you're giving him telepathic permission to come fondle you or lord knows what else. You just don't know.

With all those factors you better believe my reaction is going to be "Lets get this guy out of the store before something bad happens" rather then "Oh! He's just mentally ill and needs help! Let me call 1-800-GET-SANE to come pick him up because surely some bookstore employees are the first time in his entire life anyone has noticed!"

Yes, he has my sympathy. But he can have it AFTER I have ensured the safety of my customers and fellow employees.

End Rant.

Yes, I am a sarcastic bastard. Hiissss~ =p

[Broomjockey]

I'd just like to add to GK's bit by saying if management wouldn't even consent to having him trespassed out of the building by police, are they really going to go the extra bit and accuse him of being mentally ill? Because then it opens up liability and defamation issues. And frankly, if management called police to get the guy out of the store, where I'm from, they're most likely to simply come along, say "The nice people want you out of the store. Are you going to come quietly?" Escort him to the edge of the property, and say "Don't come back." Not exactly enough time for police to go "OMG! He's *insert random mental illness*, we've got to get him to the psych ward!"

[B&NGoddess]

And frankly, if management called police to get the guy out of the store, where I'm from, they're most likely to simply come along, say "The nice people want you out of the store. Are you going to come quietly?" Escort him to the edge of the property, and say "Don't come back." Not exactly enough time for police to go "OMG! He's *insert random mental illness*, we've got to get him to the psych ward!"

exactly. and its not like i didnt have sympathy for the dude; obviously he's got issues and im not arguing that he doesn't, but theres only so much im willing to take. and in a situation like that, hell yes its "us vs. them." we're a family at the B&N. you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us.

except management, for the most part. they don't count.

[Customer Beating Robot]

Right, his mental state "fucks" with you. I am completely speechless. It isn't your responsibility to help the guy. It also isn't your responsibility to save a baby from a burning building, or to swerve out of the way of a dog in the road or to help someone up after they fall. But it is the right thing to do. You can't have anyone arrested for being mentally ill, but you can certainly inform the police of a suspicious character. Let them investigate. I used to be one of those who reacted negatively to someone like this. But I realized later that this whole "us versus them" mentality doesn't make me a better person.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I think I mentioned the guy who wanted to come into the store, tell me I smelled nice and then regale me with stories about his dick. He started making a habit of this, so my husband, my brother in law, and three or four large male friends escorted him out into the parking lot for a Come To Jesus.

I don't know what got said, but he never came back. All I know is that the gist of the discussion was the suggestion of astonishing violence.

I had one at Pennsic one time. The guys in my camp got tired of watching this guy follow me around (I was tired of it, too, but when I was younger, I was nicer.) They didn't hide their growing annoyance of the guy, either. One of them started playing mumbledy-peg with the guy's hand one evening as they were all sitting around. They did a real good job of making him nervous. One afternoon, the way I understand it, stalker boy was joined on the road ( I camp in a fairly remote Swamp camp on a dead end road) by swarthy, rough looking men of the sort your mother always warned you about (I love the guys in my camp) who had, you guessed it, a Come To Jesus meeting. I never saw that guy again. (Morale of story to the SCA types here: don't mess with Swamp women. And REALLY don't mess with Swamp "gypsies." It's dark, it's heavily wooded, and sound doesn't travel very well. )

So, if you have some large, persuasive, male friends, they might be able to "talk some respect" in the guy. Violence doesn't solve anything? The mere threat of it sure solved that. Just sayin'.

[Tria]

[QUOTE=Customer Beating Robot;198574]Right, his mental state "fucks" with you. I am completely speechless. It isn't your responsibility to help the guy. It also isn't your responsibility to save a baby from a burning building, or to swerve out of the way of a dog in the road or to help someone up after they fall. QUOTE]

But it is her/his responsibility to make sure she is SAFE.

[draftermatt]

But it is her/his responsibility to make sure she is SAFE.

Exactly, your personal safety is what matters most. I don't care what is wrong with someone (mental, physical, what have you) you have to be comfortable, especially at work. That's why nurses cannot be squeamish, welders afraid of heights, etc.

That said, I love being a large guy. It's easy for people to come to me and have me just stand around watching someone who is acting strange, it usually freaks them out and they leave. And people should do this regardless of size. When my wife worked at the C-store the manager and other office guy (average size guys) would come down and keep an eye out whenever the homeless guys would come in, because they were always stealing stuff, drunk a lot of times, you get the point.

No threats need to be made, just an "intimidating" presence, or someone who's looking out for something can do the trick. Threats are useless 90% of the time.

[Broomjockey]

, but you can certainly inform the police of a suspicious character. Let them investigate.

Have you had any success with that? I'm honestly interested. If so, you have a much different police force than the one we have here, and I'm glad for you. Suspicious character? If I called them for something like that, and they found a guy like this, they'd do exactly what I said before. Tresspass him off. It's not their call to take someone in for treatment unless they're doing something very illegal, which is due to an obvious mental illness. "Investigate him?" They'd say "Why's he suspicious? What is the problem?" Then you mention the pattern of behaviour, and they say "Fine, we'll remove him from the premises, and if he comes back, we can arrest him then." After that point, something might get done. But it's incredibly hard to get someone committed against their will, especially if they're not an immediate threat to those around them, or themselves. And I doubt that this guy wants help.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I understand your experience and I do sympathize, I really do. I have been around creeps like that before, and it is very hard to deal with. However, I have always despised the typical "you are the enemy" attitude in these situations.

Exactly how is looking out for one's safety adopting a "you are the enemy" attitude?

Would you have the same attitude toward this person if they were physically ill? Would you tell someone with a stab wound to get out and have your b/f threaten to beat them up?

The person with the stab wound probably isn't making borderline sexually harassing comments, ogling me for hours on end, or making me feel unsafe.

Burn strawman, burn

You can't have anyone arrested for being mentally ill, but you can certainly inform the police of a suspicious character. Let them investigate.

And they probably won't do anything either because it is not their job to be chasing mentally ill people around. They can tell him to leave, but he's back the next day. You can't have somebody arrested for being potentially dangerous, and if he's lucid enough to deny treatment or institutionalization there's nothing anybody can do about it.

This isn't about some mentally ill guy's problem. This is about somebody's right to a safe working environment, free of people who come in just to harass them and possibly be a threat. If I am ever confronted with somebody like that, who makes me feel uncomfortable and won't leave me alone, I am going to do whatever I can to remove them from the situation before I worry about whatever mental condition they may have. I'd like to think I won't be judged harshly for doing so.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Not by me, you won't.

I am sypathetic to mental illness. I have family members who struggle with mental illness. Friends, too. So I am not without compassion.

However, my compassion pretty much ends when I become the target of possibly dangerous behavior. I will see an end to the problem any way that works. I'm not going to be tolerant to the point of foolhardiness. Some of these guys are wandering around and should not be out alone (as in the case of Dick Man from my story.). He didn't get hurt that time. But eventually, he's gonna tell the wrong person about his dick. That sure is not my problem, and frankly, even if it was, I am powerless to help that guy. The only think I can do is end the situation that makes me into his victim.