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My annual delightful torture

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  • #16
    Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
    Beer and cigarettes (don't tell my wife about the smoking, though. she hates that I do it.) are as far as I'm willing to go to have vices. I drink until I'm sleepy, then I go to sleep, and all is well the next day. You're probably right, though. I hate druggies. They might as well scoop their brains out with a teaspoon.
    Um... beer's a drug... all I'm saying, 'cause this ain't fratching.

    And it probably wasn't pot, since anyone liable to freak out from being stoned is really, really notable right off; they tend to get twitchy and paranoid. My vote is beer and/or speed. Speedfreaks are crazy and often extremely stupid. My brother used to be one and decided that after watching his speedfreak friends scrabbling through the shag carpet after a dropped rock and having to resist the urge to join them, that maybe being a speedfreak really sucked.

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #17
      Every year, someone tries to get me to break character.

      Requests for phone numbers?

      "That information is strictly on a need-to-know basis."

      High-five?

      "I'm not authorized for that proceedure."

      Hug?

      "With what I got hidden on my person? You don't want to hug me, kid."

      I'm always on the lookout for new material.

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      • #18
        Quoth iradney View Post

        I'm always on the lookout for new material.
        "Sorry, I'm still radioactive."

        "Due to the nature of the local phenomena, it would be unwise to touch you until you are proven inert."

        "Sorry, but the Black Ops group isn't done cleaning up yet. I just saw them go in with another box of Zip-Loks."

        "Sorry, that's need-to-know information, and if I don't need to know, you sure don't." --especially fun for name asking

        "I'm sorry, personal contact would violate the integrity of my personal containment bubble."

        "Sorry, my suit contains a taser defense device."

        "Sorry, I can't touch you until you have undergone tests to prove your humanity."

        "Sir, don't make me call in a napalm strike. They take forever to clean up."


        You really shouldn't let my imagination run like that.

        Quoth TwoScoopsSciath View Post
        I love you
        Marry me.
        (in a completely non-creepy, psycho cyber stalker way)
        Yay! My first stalker, creepy or otherwise! I shall trick a drunk into lighting his shoes on fire in honor of the event. I may have to go to the local halloween street party after all. Scarey costumes, cheap booze, and really-really drunk people could add up to more fun than a night of picking on griefers on-line...
        Last edited by Geek King; 10-18-2007, 07:32 PM.
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #19
          Quoth Geek King View Post
          "Sorry, I'm still radioactive."

          "Due to the nature of the local phenomena, it would be unwise to touch you until you are proven inert."

          "Sorry, but the Black Ops group isn't done cleaning up yet. I just saw them go in with another box of Zip-Loks."

          "Sorry, that's need-to-know information, and if I don't need to know, you sure don't." --especially fun for name asking

          "I'm sorry, personal contact would violate the integrity of my personal containment bubble."

          "Sorry, my suit contains a taser defense device."

          "Sorry, I can't touch you until you have undergone tests to prove your humanity."

          "Sir, don't make me call in a napalm strike. They take forever to clean up."
          I can quote these, right? Please say I can quote these!

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          • #20
            Ahhh yes the wonderful haunted house job. I worked in one once as a kid. It was volunteering with the JayCees and I did the swampthing mask in the marsh set. 12 years old and got punched right in the friggin' nose by an adult. After that I refused to work that set and got my head cut off repeatedly in the guillotine.
            GFY

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            • #21
              We had a lot of punching incidents. Mostly in the cornfield.

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              • #22
                My husband and I went on one of those cheesy haunted rides you see at fairs. You know, the one with the little 2-4 person carts, and the bad-funny effects and stuff.

                Anyway, there was one guy on an outside section of track, who would jump out and scare people as they came through the door. My husband made careful note of his location, so he wouldn't accidentally deck the guy, as he doesn't react well to being startled by people. We get on, ride around, no guy. We figure he needed 5 minutes or something.

                Nope. He just moved.

                My husband has fast reflexes.

                Apparently, mine are faster.

                I had my arms locked around the one he had cocked back for a throw before any of us realized what had happened. He did apologize, and the guy laughed it off, but I think he really did take a break after that.
                Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

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                • #23
                  See... I have a startle phobia. I don't react in a punching way, but more in a screaming/nightmares sort of way. I know to avoid things that will frighten me.

                  This is why I HATE emails/links that are sent to startle you(you know the ones, stare at the picture, play this game, then AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH) Because they will sometimes cause me to have a panic attack.

                  (Back on topic)
                  I enjoy reading about other people's startle stupidity. Except the hurting kids thing... not cool
                  Shamus: Why hasn't anybody designs a cranium-anus extraction kit yet? It seems that so many people suffer from a improperly-stored head.

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                  • #24
                    There have been a number of times I've almost decked someone after they startle me. In fact, the closest I came when I was at work, just finished closing. Came downstairs, left the door to the staff stairwell, which is sort of set up like this

                    . ... |
                    Hall |
                    XX |____Door
                    ..... X

                    X=Me
                    XX=Managers
                    They waited in the hall, and as I walked out the door, in the darkened theatre, they shouted as loud as they could, from about 10 ft away. Apparently I looked ready to beat the crap out of someone until I realized what was going on. Had the fist ready and everything.
                    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                    • #25
                      If I'm startled I'm one of those pathetic peoples that faint.



                      Damn low blood pressure.

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                      • #26
                        My startle reflex comes from being touched unexpectedly. A few weeks ago, my contract agency recruiter clapped me on the shoulder while I was listening to my co-worker. Just out of reflex, I flinched, stepped back about half a step and already had my hands halfway up in preparation to throw him.

                        He didn't say anything, but he got the message that it wasn't exactly a good idea to do that again. He's still very friendly and buddy-ish, but he doesn't touch me anymore.
                        A smile is just a grimace that's been edited for public consumption. -- Tony Cochran

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                        • #27
                          Quoth TwoScoopsSciath View Post
                          I can quote these, right? Please say I can quote these!
                          Feel free, that's what they're there for.

                          But I expect a writing credit if you put it in a movie or book.
                          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                          Hoc spatio locantur.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            It gets better.

                            This year, a local winery is holding wine-tastings on the park grounds. Can you guess what that means?

                            And I can't have any, because by the time I get off duty, they've closed up and gone home?

                            How do people manage to get wasted off a sip of wine? I must know.

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                            • #29
                              My most uncontrollable startle reflex is when I'm asleep. My roommates have learned to either make a ton of noise, or throw something at me and get out of the line of fire if they really need to wake me up. Last time someone got near enough to touch me while I was asleep, I was up out of bed and swinging before my eyes were fully open... Good news is, I generally don't think to reach for any of the knives/swords nearby unless I hear someone creeping around in my house, lol. Paranoia for the win!
                              If ignorance is bliss, no wonder I'm so unhappy.

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