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I drink beer/ and other such asshat-ery (long)

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  • I drink beer/ and other such asshat-ery (long)

    So I was working last night, doing the theatre usher thing. I was taking my shift tearing tickets.

    30 Days of Night had come out (Great flick, could have used a tad bit more gore, I give it a 7/10) so we knew kids would try to sneak in.

    Had 4 kids come through, two were going to see resident evil extinction and the other, much younger two were going to see 30 days. and our exchange went something like this.

    OD: oldest douche (18 years old, a year below me)
    ODGF: oldest douche's girlfriend
    K 1+2: who remaind mostly quiet
    Me: The avenging hero.

    Me: Can I see some ID please

    K 1+2: (kind of uneasily), we don't have it, they (OD+ ODGF) bought them for us.

    Me: Dude, are they with you?

    OD: Yeah

    Me: and your not going to see this movie (30 days) with them?

    OD: No.

    Me: Sorry dude, they have to have a parent or guardian with them to see an r rated flick.

    OD: I bought the tickets.

    Me: Doesn't matter, they have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian. I'm not letting minors into an R rated movie.

    ODGF: Oh my god, are you serious? You guys actually enforce this?

    I exchange a glance with the security guard that's hanging with me.

    Me: Uh, yeah (insert eye roll). I could lose my job. So unless they have a parent with them, they aren't getting in.

    Then OD says something that is still making me laugh.

    OD. I'm 18.

    Me: You're not going with them though.

    Od: I drink beer.

    Whoop-de f-ing do.

    Me: (kinda scoff laughing) I don't care. A 10 year old can drink beer. Doesn't mean that it isn't right.

    by this point a manager takes over and tells them the deal. the two oldest go and watch Resident evil and the younger ones leave.

    pshh, "I drink beer". Like that's even relevent to our discussion. Since when did being able to injest something (illegaly) become a factor in verifying your age?



    2nd story

    doing the same ticket shift, had this kid come up to me to see 30 days of night. he looked a bit on the young side so i card him. big mistake

    Kid goes off on a stern tirade. Like it's this big inconvienence that he's being carded. He doesn't have it, he's in a rush, "do i honestly look like im fucking 16?", My birthday is blah blah blah.

    okay, play times over.

    "Look dude. Chill alright. I don't need the attitude. I'm just doing my job here. go see the movie and relax a bit. Chill out"

    Then as he goes in i turn to the security guard.

    "Tosser" (note: I'm not British, I just like the slang)

    Kid comes out later to use the bathroom and on his way back apologizes for the way he acted. He's just hyped to see the movie. Didn't really help him much that I could smell weed on him, but whatever. Karma does work.
    Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

    Christopher Titus.

  • #2
    Quoth solidmetalgear19 View Post
    OD. I'm 18.

    Me: You're not going with them though.

    Od: I drink beer.
    Hey, good for him. Underage drinking. His parents must be so proud of him.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
      Hey, good for him. Underage drinking. His parents must be so proud of him.
      Hey, maybe he's a visiting Canadian! Then it's not illegal. Well, in Alberta. I think it's 19 in Ontario. But they're weird there.
      Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

      http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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      • #4
        Hey, I'm 32 and I don't drink beer. Does that mean I can't see the movie?

        Not that I want to. I'm not much into horror movies. I did see Gone Baby Gone the other night and it was good. Even if Ben Affleck did direct it
        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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        • #5
          OMG just saw 30 days, 8/10 from me (yeah i need need to be pussy footed around, i could handly seeing the hacking and the blood)....
          but i cried...alot... and had a panic attack (i also saw a 3D nightmare before christmas, they apparently cause my body to go into fight or flight mode, and that and the lack of food and some a-hole coming up to me from behind to solicit, not good... really not good...)

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Broomjockey View Post
            Hey, maybe he's a visiting Canadian! Then it's not illegal. Well, in Alberta. I think it's 19 in Ontario. But they're weird there.
            I'm from Ontario
            Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.

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            • #7
              Quoth Fawn View Post
              I'm from Ontario
              Q.E.D.

              alternatively:

              Game, set, match.
              Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

              http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                But they're weird there.
                I like weird. Unless it's too weird. How weird are we talking?
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
                  I like weird. Unless it's too weird. How weird are we talking?
                  Weirder than me. But not as weird as purple ketchup.
                  Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                  http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Weirder than me. Which is pretty weird if you've ever heard my guild recruiting messages on EQ that tell everyone about my talking socks.
                    ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                    Chickens are Asexual!

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                    • #11
                      urgh, whoever thought purple ketchup was a good idea? My sister used to put green ketchup on her eggs and it made them look like bird poop. I've heard that people who go color blind have a hard time eating because everything is the wrong color. Fun fact, whoo!

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