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My hubby works on the side as a DJ. Yesterday was his first wedding reception of the year. What follows is from what he relayed to me on his return.
He gets to the hotel and asks the front desk if he can pull around back to load the gear into the room directly. The front desk says no, they don't want the grass torn up. What grass? There's still snow on the ground. Plus, there's a paved walkway all around the building, so he wouldn't be driving on the grass. But they insist. So he parks in front of the hotel and hauls his gear down their narrow elevator to the other end of the hotel.
While he was hauling gear, the cake decorator arrived with the cake. It was a square black and white cake - not the sort of thing you normally see at a wedding. She told Hubby that the hotel would want him to move his truck, and he responded that since the hotel was making him lug his gear all the way through the hotel, they could kiss his ass.
The guests started arriving. They were all dressed in black Carhartts and white tshirts. Hubby asked where the bride and groom were, and somebody said, "Can't you tell by the hats?" Everybody was wearing baseball caps. So he starts up the first song, and out of the crowd comes this scrawny guy and this large woman. They're wearing the same black Carhartts and white tshirts as everybody else, except the bride is wearing a white baseball cap that says "Bride" and the groom is wearing a black baseball cap that says "Groom." For the second song, the bride and groom danced with their parents (as is tradition). The groom's mother "looked like they had dug her up and thawed her out for the dance." Also "it looked like they gave her the dentures for the dance," since there was a severe lack of teeth among the older folks.
It came time for the bouquet and garter toss. The five or so young women get on the dance floor. Hubby usually likes to draw out the bouquet toss, so he says, "On the count of three, the bride is going to throw the bouquet!" Now, normally, he counts up: "One, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, three!" But he got interrupted, so he starts over, "On the count of three--" The bride hears "three" and throws the bouquet.
Ok. Whatever. So the groom gets up there with the garter. His four friends get out on the floor. Hubby does his normal routine of trying to get the guys to show off. He says "It's mighty slim pickins, girls" and plays "I'm Too Sexy." Normally, he gets the guys to dance for a few minutes before starting the countdown. But the music starts and the groom throws the garter. Hubby gives his standard response, "I hope he's not that quick with everything" and the groom responds, "Yeah, it's all about me! I get it over as fast as possible." The way Hubby told it, he wasn't joking.
The rest of the gig was pretty straightforward, other than Hubby feeling overdressed in his slacks and dress shirt. And nobody danced to requests - the only time there was more than two people on the dance floor was at the end of the night, when everybody was drunk and Hubby started playing more recent, popular tunes.
He gets to the hotel and asks the front desk if he can pull around back to load the gear into the room directly. The front desk says no, they don't want the grass torn up. What grass? There's still snow on the ground. Plus, there's a paved walkway all around the building, so he wouldn't be driving on the grass. But they insist. So he parks in front of the hotel and hauls his gear down their narrow elevator to the other end of the hotel.
While he was hauling gear, the cake decorator arrived with the cake. It was a square black and white cake - not the sort of thing you normally see at a wedding. She told Hubby that the hotel would want him to move his truck, and he responded that since the hotel was making him lug his gear all the way through the hotel, they could kiss his ass.
The guests started arriving. They were all dressed in black Carhartts and white tshirts. Hubby asked where the bride and groom were, and somebody said, "Can't you tell by the hats?" Everybody was wearing baseball caps. So he starts up the first song, and out of the crowd comes this scrawny guy and this large woman. They're wearing the same black Carhartts and white tshirts as everybody else, except the bride is wearing a white baseball cap that says "Bride" and the groom is wearing a black baseball cap that says "Groom." For the second song, the bride and groom danced with their parents (as is tradition). The groom's mother "looked like they had dug her up and thawed her out for the dance." Also "it looked like they gave her the dentures for the dance," since there was a severe lack of teeth among the older folks.
It came time for the bouquet and garter toss. The five or so young women get on the dance floor. Hubby usually likes to draw out the bouquet toss, so he says, "On the count of three, the bride is going to throw the bouquet!" Now, normally, he counts up: "One, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, three!" But he got interrupted, so he starts over, "On the count of three--" The bride hears "three" and throws the bouquet.
Ok. Whatever. So the groom gets up there with the garter. His four friends get out on the floor. Hubby does his normal routine of trying to get the guys to show off. He says "It's mighty slim pickins, girls" and plays "I'm Too Sexy." Normally, he gets the guys to dance for a few minutes before starting the countdown. But the music starts and the groom throws the garter. Hubby gives his standard response, "I hope he's not that quick with everything" and the groom responds, "Yeah, it's all about me! I get it over as fast as possible." The way Hubby told it, he wasn't joking.
The rest of the gig was pretty straightforward, other than Hubby feeling overdressed in his slacks and dress shirt. And nobody danced to requests - the only time there was more than two people on the dance floor was at the end of the night, when everybody was drunk and Hubby started playing more recent, popular tunes.
I totally agree.
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