Asked for a loan and got hassled?!? WTF!!??!

[Kitten in the box]

Asked for a loan and got hassled?!?

I recently asked for a $20.00 loan and got hassled on it. I asked a family member for a loan and they responded with "don't YOU have money? Where did it get to?" I was pissed. Here's the backstory:

I received a nice inheritence. And before the check had time to "cool off" in the bank this is what happened. I lent money to the famy for:

A french mini bulldog pure bred $500.00 (Younger cousins "had" to have this dog)

$4000 for older cousin and husband to move into new place. Paid for move in fees, dog fee, plus first month rent

They paid me back THEN re borrowed it again because cousins hubby screwed up on a bill

Gave $500 for a mattress that they decided they didn't like

Paid for french bulldog to be neutered

Paid to have family members shih-tzu's broken jaw to be fixed. He picked a fight with one of our large dogs and he got worked over pretty bad.

Paid for dog teeth cleaning plus extraction (family dog [uncles])

Paid for a transmission when truck decided to act up (got 9 flavors of hell when I told my uncle to improve upkeep on cars)

Paid for a rental car

Lent money for a venqulitrist doll for older cousin (2nd one, he bought the first one)

At least I got 3 things out of my inheritence:

A trip to Disneyland
A nintendo 3ds XL
An android tablet.

And I ask for $20.00 loan... I get bitched at

I already accepted that I'm NOT seeing my other money (last time I brought it up it caused a nuclear war).

Hubby says I'm too sweet. We both love the family, but he said A line must be drawn.

I even gave $3.00 to a homeless man and next time he saw me... He paid me back...,

[MoonCat]

I guess that's why they say never lend money to family

I've always said that if I ever won a big lottery prize, I'd discover relatives I never knew existed.

[Tama]

Geez. Always there when they need you, huh...

[Sapphire Silk]

Loaning money is dicey. Rule of thumb, never loan anything you can't afford to get back.

Having said that, I've loaned large sums before. So far never been screwed.

Next time you have money, tell your family to piss off. Loaning them money is throwing good money after bad.

[Mytical]

Family is the hardest people to get money back from. *hugs* I've never been rich, or heck even well to do. In fact I've been poor since the day I was born. However, when I was working I was always able to save back a little money at a time. Was working since 16. Since I got ill at 38 (ish) that was 22 years. Four times I was able to get my bank account over $10,000. Each time "Family" spent every dime of it.

I don't remember all the details of where each went, but basically 'family' nickle and dimed me until the money was all gone. I know I will never ever see a dime of that money back. The kicker is, each time after they had spent all of it.. I was 'worthless' and treated like dirt.

Anyhow, don't mean to hijack your thread.. *hug* Moral is, family will always be right there with their hand out.. but when you need help.. they are nowhere to be found. Or at least SOME family is like that.

[Zellie Crescent]

The only people in my family I'd trust with money are my parents, brother, and grandmother.

[Kaylyn]

This is why me and my husband haven't told his family that he's started getting money in from his inheritance. We already had his brother asking us to help him start up a tattoo shop when he only knew it would be coming in eventually. We know that as soon as they know we actually HAVE most of the money, his moocher family is gonna be crawling all over us saying "oh we can't pay our bills" "oh we need this" and we don't want to deal with the drama and uprising that will occur when we tell them NO, we helped support you for four years, get off your asses and take care of it yourselves, we have PLANS for this money already.

[Gizmo]

I have a recent lump sum payment and I have spent some of it on a few people and helped them out - loans or whatever - I look at it as gone. One calls it "adding it to what he owes me" but he knows that if he pays it back it is a bonus.

The ones who *ask* for it? Get shown the door....

I won't ever ask family for a loan again since a recentish tiff with my mother. I had to do it that time and I learned its not worth the agro that comes with it.

[taxguykarl]

No good deeds go unpunished

[EricKei]

Easiest way to get rid of a friend is to loan him money...

[It shouldn't]

I don't even tell my husband when I come into a bit of money. The first and last time I told him, he blabbed to his brother. Might as well have just posted an ad in the paper. Even the bagger at the grocery store commented on it.

[taxguykarl]

Dear Advice Columist:
I loaned my annoying ne'er-do-well brother-in-law $1000 and have not seen or heard from him since.
Did I get my money's worth?

Likely an urban legend.

[Amina516]

Learn to say no. It'll do you well in the long run.

It's hard. I do understand that. I've caused family fights when I've refused to lend to a cousin who is notorious for not paying anyone back. I don't care. I work. It's my money. This is a great time to be selfish. Now, if youre trust worthy and we have a good history, I have no issue with this. Ill even give you a break if you cant pay me when you initially said you would, as long as I eventually get it back. Of course, if you do screw me, realize that you never get anything from me again. Not even a cookie. I love cookies.