This Is Bullshit

[blas]

Not that I'm a big partier or someone who loves going out anyway, but after what happend to my friend last night, I'll never go to this bar again either if this is how they handle lecherous men who dance on girls.

My friend and some of her coworkers all went out to this bar after the Packer game. They like to all dance together, like girls do.

Some random drunk guy thought that it was an open invitation for him to come up and try dancing on them. They didn't like it, so they kind of wiggled away and hoped he got the message. He didn't, and he kept continuing to try to dance on one of my friend's coworkers, so the girl pushed him away from her.

The bouncer came along and told my friend and all of her friends that they had to leave. The creeper got to stay, and my friends all got kicked out for not wanting to dance with a random creepy drunk guy.

On the rare occasion that I go out, if my bf isn't around or it's just me and the girls, if random guys try to dance on me, I do the same thing. You get one warning, if the guy doesn't appear too drunk, I'll say no, if he looks really drunk, I'll just wiggle away and hope he gets the message. If he continues (and if it isn't dancing, just guys who keep trolling for your number or try to talk to you) then I get physical and give them a shove to get away from me. Everyone gets a warning, then I'm done and you're getting away from me right now. Not like I ever hurt anyone, and I doubt my friend's coworker even did more than push him just to get him away.

No way in hell a bar that values creepy drunk guys is getting my business.

[Racket_Man]

unfortuenately because SHE got physical with the guy is the most likely resason she and friends got kicked out. unless the bouncer missed the creepy guy doing some up close and personal touching first not much youi can do

[Rantsylvania 6-5000]

That's fucked up! I thought bouncers were there to get rid of guys like that!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That's fucked up! I thought bouncers were there to get rid of guys like that!

But if drunk guy tattled on the OP's friends first and the bouncer didn't actually see what happened....

Kinda like HR at work. The first person to get their story out is the one who's believed.

[blas]

I don't think there was any tattling involved, the bouncers saw what they saw. I'm going on a limb here, but it's pretty rare at a bar that you'd see a girl pushing a guy away from her without a good reason.

[Mystic]

I don't think there was any tattling involved, the bouncers saw what they saw. I'm going on a limb here, but it's pretty rare at a bar that you'd see a girl pushing a guy away from her without a good reason.

Not really. In fact, I've seen that done in clubs with the sole purpose of a female trying to get someone thrown out even though they did nothing wrong. Females can be very malicious creatures. :P

[TonyF]

Not really. In fact, I've seen that done in clubs with the sole purpose of a female trying to get someone thrown out even though they did nothing wrong. Females can be very malicious creatures. :P

That's one of the reasons I hardly go to bars or clubs anymore. I don't need a person with maturity issues or someone who can't handle their alcohol ruining my night.

But if drunk guy tattled on the OP's friends first and the bouncer didn't actually see what happened....

Kinda like HR at work. The first person to get their story out is the one who's believed.

I have to agree. I've seen it happen firsthand. I've seen 'tattling' and people who lie just to get the other person ejected. Drunk people ruining someone's night because they didn't get what they want.

Hell, I've seen fights break out and because the bartender/bouncer first spots the guy defending himself, they assume he started it and he's the one who's ejected.

[blas]

I'm not a violent person and I'm not a fan of fighting by any means. The times I've pushed away a lecherous creep, I've actually been sober. "No" doesn't even register in some guys' minds when they have had too much to drink, or they assume just because some girls are dancing together, they want company, or because I am without a male on my arm, that means I am single.

[Sapphire Silk]

That's fucked up! I thought bouncers were there to get rid of guys like that!

No, actually they are there to prevent disruptions from getting out of hand. Which is what they did.

It sucks that the girls had to pay because some guy got all creepy on them. The one girl shouldn't have pushed him. She should have verbally told him, "Get lost!", then complained to the bouncers if he didn't. Then the creeper would have been the one thrown out.

Unfortunately, she put her hands on him first, and the bouncers had no way to know she was the one whose personal space was really being invaded.

[kibbles]

I don't think there was any tattling involved, the bouncers saw what they saw. I'm going on a limb here, but it's pretty rare at a bar that you'd see a girl pushing a guy away from her without a good reason.

IMO, not every girl (or guy for that matter) who gets physical with someone is doing it for a good reason. Lots of girls can be just as big of jerks as guys, and bouncers can only go on what they actually see. JMO.

[Treasure]

Blas,
unfortunately, I'm drawing pretty much the same conclusion as everybody else - since your friend didn't find "an adult" (bouncer) nor did she do the "make a big scene and embarrass Creepy McCreeperton" thing - and was seen putting her hands on the guy, is why she was asked to leave....
I've been the one to tell guys - Look, you need to leave my friend alone or I'm going to talk to the "Boyz" - that is usually enough of a warning to make them behave - even people that are just as much a regular at the bar as me....if not more so....

I've also gotten the bouncer's attention about someone who needed to sleep it off...


when in a situation like Blas's friend - react like a 6 yr old - "NO STOP TOUCHING ME! I DON"T YOU!" or - Mr-Mr-Bouncer-Sir-that-creepy-guy-over-there-keeps-touching-me-and-i-don't-like-it-and-he-won't-stop,-and-i-keep-trying-to-get-away-from-him-and-now-i-think-he-thinks-its-a-game-or-something... please make him stop.

Obviously I mean for it to be said like a mature adult, not in "6yo voice" but you get the idea...

[BlaqueKatt]

Obviously I mean for it to be said like a mature adult, not in "6yo voice" but you get the idea...

actually I've found the 6yo voice shouting "BAD TOUCH, I NEED AN ADULT!" usually creeps out the creeper, and puts them under heavy scrutiny. But ya know,YMMV.

[nicolecj]

I used to frequent dance clubs and I can't think of a single good reason for anyone to push or physically strike out at anyone at anytime. There are bouncers there. If you choose to get violent, you are out. A guy trying to dance with a girl that, according to the story, did not tell him no, but just kept on dancing... abet in a different direction... does not constitute a need for physical violence. in this story the bouncer did his job and removed the problematic person. I would continue to patronize this place. It sounds like they do not put up with drama. in the future, go to the bouncer or bartender if you have a problem and the person will not take no as an answer, but do say no and give the poor guy an chance to take the hint! The bouncers can deal with it in a drama free manner, leaving you free to dance the night away with no molestation.

[Canarr]

What most others here said. You don't like somebody's attention (no matter what the gender(s) involved), tell them so, clearly. They keep it up, tell a bouncer or barkeeper and ask them to handle it. If they refuse, talk to a manager. If he doesn't do anything, leave and blackball the place.

Pushing someone could be interpreted as assault under the law of some countries; at the very least, it's probably breaking the rules of the establishment - hence, why the bouncer asked the girls in question to leave the place. You don't get to push people around because you don't like who they are or what they do; that's not how it works.

[blas]

I have found in my own experience that there is no good way to deal with drunks. You can't talk to them or reason with them, because they are so poisoned and in their own little worlds that they don't even understand you. You don't even want to know how many times I have tried to point at my ring, said "No", growled "Get the fuck away from me!" or "Taken!" or "Don't even try!" and they are either that drunk or that arrogant or both that they don't care.

I'm not big on going out anymore. The sober person is usually pretty annoyed or bored with what's going on anyway. That and when I do get buzzed or tipsy, someone in our group usually does something stupid or someone gets into a fight and the whole party is over anyway