"Wow, she must be REALLY dumb..."

[Automan Empire]

Talking about someone in the third person when that person is present is an intentional belittlement.

Decent people have better sense than that.

[wagegoth]

And would you believe she ended up getting married suddenly and then dropping a kid a short eight months later?

18th/19th centuries, it was the accepted belief (wishful thinking, really) that first babies often came early.

[Marlowe]

18th/19th centuries, it was the accepted belief (wishful thinking, really) that first babies often came early.

One of my favourite stories was when I was round at my friend's sister-in-law/brother's house when the health visitor was there doing the baby's first month check-up, along with the baby's grandmother (on the mother's side.) The following priceless conversation took place:

Health visitor: Well, everything seems grand, she's coming along very well.
Grandmother: Oh yes, it's been wonderful, such a relief given how premature she was...
Health visitor: Premature?
Grandmother: Oh yes, two whole months early, would you believe, gave us all a scare...
Health visitor: Oh? *ruffles through notes* This baby weighed ten pounds when it was born!
Grandmother: Aye, well, we've all big babies in our family, why my boy Michael was almost eight pounds, and his father was over ten or so I'm told, ramble ramble ramble-
Health visitor: But... I mean, is it possible your daughter could have calculated her dates wrong? It's very common actually, so-
Grandmother: Oh no, that's not possible, sure they only got married eight months ago!

Me and the health visitor kind of exchanged glances... then I ducked out into the side room to laugh until I cried.

[Eevie]

I've had my fair share of bullies. Unfortunately, they were usually the smart kind who learned that, unless words are exchanged and/or there's camera footage, the school couldn't do anything. I've been taunted, laughed at, mocked. Even had an entire class turn against me, with the teacher in the room, no less (and did he do anything? I think you can figure that one out with how he let it escalate to that).

And yet I sat through it. Couldn't tell you how. But Marlowe, it felt good to read that from you.

[Ophbalance]

More than my fair share of school bullies as well. My school ran grades 7 - 12, and sadly the cliques formed during the elementary years tended to run on into the 7 - 12 years. Academically I could run rings around 90% of my class, but socially I was at a complete loss. Since I had come from one of the smaller k-6 it meant my clique was exceedingly small. Sadly very few of them made it into the same classes I was in... but it also became terribly "uncool" to still be my friend. It became overly apparent that kids who are tolerant of an autistic and been around him for several years are completely different from those that are NOT tolerant around anything different at all. The final nail in the coffin was my father dared to be the "rogue" teacher. The Bill Nye type, who actually... y'know, CARED about the subject matter. Oh, and he DARED to build the oddest house in the area, a geodesic dome.

That meant that not only did I catch daily crap from my class mates for being "different", but the teachers also had a tendency to turn a blind eye to it because they hated my father. Who taught in an entirely different school, but gave them a bad name for caring about his job.

And the silliest part of it all, the things which were the problem amounted to:

• Wore sweatpants because I HATED the way jeans felt on the skin
• Wore tube socks in an era when low cut socks were cool
• Didn't wear a thing trendy
• Didn't play a sport that was socially acceptable... soccer apparently being a "girls" game
• My gait is apparently a bit like the actor that played Grisham on CSI: Los Vegas

And for this, and other equally as stupid and small things, I was constantly under attack. Mostly verbal, but occasionally physical. I had a classmate raise his hand one day and declare "Mr Sigmund, Ophbalance's coat stinks". Just, because I was target d'jour. And I still have a discolored scar on my wrist just above the joint where I was stabbed with a pencil... just because I happened to have my hand on the table behind my desk.

But THAT little fucker felt the bite of karama. I try to feel sorry, but to this day I cannot. The one that stabbed me and seriously made me consider terminating my own life is currently going through this world as a quadriplegic with the brain of a toddler. He wrapped his trans am around a tree in our graduating year. And although most folks thought it was a "terrible tragedy!" I... will always see him as an ass that destroyed my early life.

[Eevie]

Ophbalance, I hear you. I'm diagnosed ADHD and Asberger's disorder. I had spent years with my parents trying to figure out which cocktail of medication worked best for me. All the while being talked about as the little freak. Some combanations would make me excessively violent and short-tempered, others would make me sob uncontrollably to the point where I had to be sent home. Of course, no one understood, and things would only get worse between me and my classmates. I was so glad to be out of middle school. Hands down some of my worse years in school.

[XCashier]

Most of us here have dealt with bullies in school; there have been many, many threads both here and on Fratching regarding bullying. I was the victim of horrible bullying in school myself. When I was a teenager, I naïvely thought that adults had outgrown bullying.

My first customer service job proved me very, very wrong about that.

Workplace bullying is also a very hot topic amongst adults. It's very sad that this stuff is still happening, committed by people who should know better and be ashamed of themselves. There are ways to combat it, but it is often so subtle the victim doesn't always realize he/she is being bullied; they just know that they hate their job and can't understand why.

[Jester]

Sadly, my general prescription for dealing with bullies would not be appropriate for a workplace situation, as it would almost certainly get you fired, and possibly even arrested.

And as I've not really dealt with such a thing, I have no experience to offer or wisdom to impart, other than to address it through proper channels, if possible, and if that doesn't work, find a new job.

Wish I had more to offer on that subject.

Amusingly, one of the studies done on the subject in the article linked by XCashier was by my alma mater.

[crazylegs]

I went to freaking OXFORD, and if I was DUMB, do you really think I would have done all that?

By the way, Very Cool - what did you read?

[Marlowe]

By the way, Very Cool - what did you read?

I did Biochemistry/Molecular and Cellular Biology first, and then did Fine Art because I decided sciences and a life of facts, theory and labs wasn't for me. Best decision ever.