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Roommate and I decide to go to a football match three hours away from where we live. It was a very small local team playing and we knew a couple of players, so we thought it would be fun. There was a coach organised to take people down.
The match was poor. Our team were losing badly by the end of the first half, and several supporters gave up and went over to a local pub. A large group of them were from our coach.
So it’s time to leave. The group gets on the bus and a lot of them are drunk. They take up several rows at the back and are very, very loud. Roommate and I made a point to try and sit as far away from them as we could, but it was still really bad.
One hour into the journey and it has been absolute hell. The bus driver has tried being polite and has asked them to calm down several times, but they are acting like stereotypical football hooligans. The rest of the bus is completely silent because no one dares say anything to draw their attention.
The bus goes over a bump. We hear the group yell and scream, followed by the sound of someone retching. An old man who was not with them stands up and heads to the front of the bus and says something to the driver. Driver immediately pulls over.
Driver: Right, everyone off the coach except you lot.
Hooligans: Us?
Driver: Yes, you lot stay where you are.
Turned out that the lovely gentlemen were urinating in drinks cans at the back to the bus, despite there being a toilet on board. The old man was alerted to this when the bus went over a bump and the cans were knocked over, sending a tidal wave of piss around his feet!
Driver gave the guys and ultimatum. They were to clean up the floor and pay a £50 fine, as the bus would have to be professionally cleaned once the journey was over. There was even a sign on board stating something along those lines.
Amazingly, the guys clubbed together and cleaned the whole bus, while we all stood outside feeling really angry with them. They finished and we all boarded.
Driver: I want the fine now.
Lead Hooligan: Ha! Like we’re paying that!
Driver: It’s a £50 fine. That’s five pound each. Pay it or you’re off.
LH: We’re not paying!
Hooligans started cheering with glee.
Driver: Get off the bus. All of you.
LH: What you going to do?
Driver: I will call the police.
LH: And what are you going to tell them?!?
Driver: That you urinated in bottles, spilled them all over the place onto other customers, refused to pay the fine and refused to leave the coach.
LH: I think you’ll find that we pissed in cans! Not bottles!
He somehow thought that meant he had won the argument. He had a smug look on his face.
Driver: OK, I’m calling the police.
The argument went back and forth a couple more times, and then the men finally admitted defeat and left the coach.
LH: Well you could at least give us a local taxi number!
Driver: I don’t know this area, so I don't know any!
LH: How the hell are we going to get home! We have no idea where we are!!
Driver: £50 fine and then you’ll get home.
LH: We’re not paying.
They all nodded in agreement.
Driver: Well…see ya.
He closed the door and drove off, leaving them behind. The entire bus stood up and waved as we went.
A few minutes later, someone cried out.
“Hey! They’ve left a crate of unopened beer behind!!”
Everyone got a beer each, except the bus driver, but we did save him one for when he finished work.
Absolute idiots. Rather than pay £5 each for the fine, they are now going to have to pay God only knows how much to get home.
The match was poor. Our team were losing badly by the end of the first half, and several supporters gave up and went over to a local pub. A large group of them were from our coach.
So it’s time to leave. The group gets on the bus and a lot of them are drunk. They take up several rows at the back and are very, very loud. Roommate and I made a point to try and sit as far away from them as we could, but it was still really bad.
One hour into the journey and it has been absolute hell. The bus driver has tried being polite and has asked them to calm down several times, but they are acting like stereotypical football hooligans. The rest of the bus is completely silent because no one dares say anything to draw their attention.
The bus goes over a bump. We hear the group yell and scream, followed by the sound of someone retching. An old man who was not with them stands up and heads to the front of the bus and says something to the driver. Driver immediately pulls over.
Driver: Right, everyone off the coach except you lot.
Hooligans: Us?
Driver: Yes, you lot stay where you are.
Turned out that the lovely gentlemen were urinating in drinks cans at the back to the bus, despite there being a toilet on board. The old man was alerted to this when the bus went over a bump and the cans were knocked over, sending a tidal wave of piss around his feet!
Driver gave the guys and ultimatum. They were to clean up the floor and pay a £50 fine, as the bus would have to be professionally cleaned once the journey was over. There was even a sign on board stating something along those lines.
Amazingly, the guys clubbed together and cleaned the whole bus, while we all stood outside feeling really angry with them. They finished and we all boarded.
Driver: I want the fine now.
Lead Hooligan: Ha! Like we’re paying that!
Driver: It’s a £50 fine. That’s five pound each. Pay it or you’re off.
LH: We’re not paying!
Hooligans started cheering with glee.
Driver: Get off the bus. All of you.
LH: What you going to do?
Driver: I will call the police.
LH: And what are you going to tell them?!?
Driver: That you urinated in bottles, spilled them all over the place onto other customers, refused to pay the fine and refused to leave the coach.
LH: I think you’ll find that we pissed in cans! Not bottles!
He somehow thought that meant he had won the argument. He had a smug look on his face.
Driver: OK, I’m calling the police.
The argument went back and forth a couple more times, and then the men finally admitted defeat and left the coach.
LH: Well you could at least give us a local taxi number!
Driver: I don’t know this area, so I don't know any!
LH: How the hell are we going to get home! We have no idea where we are!!
Driver: £50 fine and then you’ll get home.
LH: We’re not paying.
They all nodded in agreement.
Driver: Well…see ya.
He closed the door and drove off, leaving them behind. The entire bus stood up and waved as we went.
A few minutes later, someone cried out.
“Hey! They’ve left a crate of unopened beer behind!!”
Everyone got a beer each, except the bus driver, but we did save him one for when he finished work.
Absolute idiots. Rather than pay £5 each for the fine, they are now going to have to pay God only knows how much to get home.
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