The Anti-Cupid. Or How Not To Be A Friend And Piss Off People In One Easy Step.

[Argabarga]

Given his air of "ownership" over Lily, I too hope that she's very wary around him, and preferably doesn't accept any more of his "help," up to and including jobs. All it'll do (in his mind) is add to the bill that she "owes" him.

This.

Oh sure, he'll tell her to her face that it's all a favor he's happy to do, it's all to help her as a "friend". She doesn't have to pay him back.

But deep down inside, he's keeping track of every cent and every nanosecond spent serving her, and sooner or later, he's going to present her with the "bill" with the full expectation she pay it back, with "interest" if you know what I mean.

And if she refuses? Well, she's obviously just a heartless bitch who's been using him. At least that's what he'll be moaning about over a tall one at the bar, how that no-good rotten manipulative BITCH used him for months on end and didn't even have the decency to give him a blowjob when it was all over.

See, that's why "nice guys" like him don't get anywhere in this world!

[Jester]

As an actual nice guy, I kinda object to that characterization....though of course you are absolutely right. And of course, he will make himself out to be a "nice guy," which I'm sure he's already done in his head.

Guys like that make actual nice guys look bad. They also make actual nice guys want to beat him with large blunt objects until the police will have trouble identifying the remains, even with dental records.

Okay....maybe I'm not such a nice guy after all.

[Argabarga]

You will note, as we both have done, "Nice Guy" with quotes is a LOT different than Nice Guy without them.

"Nice Guy" tries to be Nice Guy, but fundamentally can't because everyone but him can see the " 's floating on either side of his head.

In fact, In the time I've spent studying "Nice Guys" wondering how their pathology works, I've realized that most of what they do stems from an inability to form stable bonds with the opposite sex. For any number of reasons, they just don't "get" what makes a relationship work and the only way they can hold one together is the "debt" model.

They do nice non-intimate things for the woman they fancy, and expect it to be exchangeable for physical intimacy in the future. All their energy is devoted to running up that "bill" she owes.

I really feel deep down inside, they don't see other people as anything other than a slot machine, or a vending machine, they just need enough pulls at the handle or enough coins in the slot, and bingo, they get their payout.

This is why they go bonkers when it doesn't work because to them, their indignation is as justified as someone who put a dollar in a coke machine, pushed the button, and didn't get anything.

Which is why real nice guys can only roll their eyes and shake their heads as "nice guy" cries in the corner with his beer, lamenting all those coins he put in the machine, all for naught, because they, the actual Nice Guys, were all smart enough to notice the machine had a big "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it.

She wasn't interested in them, she never was, she was involved with someone else, and despite all the red flags, "nice guy" heroically forged ahead like the dogged hero in a romantic comedy, he'd get the girl in the end, when she noticed how nice he was, that's how it always goes.....

It's a wonder everyone but them can see it.

[Jester]

Speaking of nice guys, sometimes they really do come out ahead.

Remember Christopher, Lily's roommate? Yeah, well, last night I set him up with a single female friend of mine. They seemed to hit it off...they're seeing each other again tonight.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Argabarga, you just gave me an idea.

You know these dealy-boppers, the little plastic headbands with the springs that have plastic balls or ears or flashy things on the ends of the springs? People wear them at parties?

We need to make dealy-boppers with quote marks on the ends. Then start handing out to "nice guys".

Millions, I tell ya! We'll make millions!

[mathnerd]

You will note, as we both have done, "Nice Guy" with quotes is a LOT different than Nice Guy without them.

"Nice Guy" tries to be Nice Guy, but fundamentally can't because everyone but him can see the " 's floating on either side of his head.

In fact, In the time I've spent studying "Nice Guys" wondering how their pathology works, I've realized that most of what they do stems from an inability to form stable bonds with the opposite sex. For any number of reasons, they just don't "get" what makes a relationship work and the only way they can hold one together is the "debt" model.

They do nice non-intimate things for the woman they fancy, and expect it to be exchangeable for physical intimacy in the future. All their energy is devoted to running up that "bill" she owes.

I really feel deep down inside, they don't see other people as anything other than a slot machine, or a vending machine, they just need enough pulls at the handle or enough coins in the slot, and bingo, they get their payout.

This is why they go bonkers when it doesn't work because to them, their indignation is as justified as someone who put a dollar in a coke machine, pushed the button, and didn't get anything.

Which is why real nice guys can only roll their eyes and shake their heads as "nice guy" cries in the corner with his beer, lamenting all those coins he put in the machine, all for naught, because they, the actual Nice Guys, were all smart enough to notice the machine had a big "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it.

She wasn't interested in them, she never was, she was involved with someone else, and despite all the red flags, "nice guy" heroically forged ahead like the dogged hero in a romantic comedy, he'd get the girl in the end, when she noticed how nice he was, that's how it always goes.....

It's a wonder everyone but them can see it.

I love this analogy. It's so perfect.

[MoonCat]

There was a guy on YouTube last year explaining why these so-called "nice" guys weren't really nice at all. I don't have the link anymore but the summary was very much as Argabarga said: If you do things for people expecting something in return, then you're not being nice, you're just looking for a payout. A true nice guy - or nice woman - does things for friends because they're friends and that's what friends do.

[Argabarga]

In a way that leads to a much simpler , but farther-reaching concept that could apply to most things in life in general.

I can't take credit for it, I heard it of all places on a sportstalk radio show. But it's stuck with me ever since.





"Charity, with expectations, is a bribe."